Marieya’s Emancipation

(Story word count: approximately 3500 words. Estimated reading time: 35 minutes. CW: loneliness, depression)

The realm of steam conjured from the trials and tribulations of Marieya Ebontide had presented her friends with several challenges. Zombies reanimated by the power of the phoenix, malicious manifestations of fallen friends, and a nothic bringing memories once repressed to the forefront.

Although the world around them tried to sell them an image of Marieya built from her worst experiences, the party refused to let this cloud their judgement of her, and soldiered onwards to save her from herself.

After confronting a pack of edjet initiates, Seggotan sent his blessings towards the party, revitalising their energy with holy water and provided a longship to take them across the ocean towards the final trial of this world: Marieya herself.

The party and the steam shade of Ancil boarded the boat, which began moving on its own into the infinite horizon. Despite this being an elemental plane with no real concept of day or night, the sun seemed to set, a dark starless sky setting the mood for the encounter ahead.

Eventually, there was light ahead of the party. An island surrounded by burning trees, a twisted memory of Marieya’s incident in the clearing that set her on her current path, at the cost of the lives of her closest friends. Twisted vines and branches formed burning effigies of the homelands of her current friends.

The Margreave, the Northlands, Zobeck. Forming the points of an equilateral triangle with a facsimile of Marieya’s old tent house in the Shadow Realm directly in the middle of them all, the shadow fey herself lying in front of it on a scorched and ashen log.

Sensing the presence of her friends, she stood up, her wings flexing slightly as the phoenix spoke to her in her mind. “They are right there… kill them all… now! Give all you are to me and end your torment!”

“Shut up…”, Marieya said mentally in response. Being a realm under her control, Marieya had seen everything her friends have done. Honesty refuting the words of Steamforged Vantar, Fauna covering the intrusive thoughts with beautiful flowers, the party as a whole refusing the words of her own manifestation of Corvus. Despite all this, Marieya still knew she couldn’t risk anyone else’s life.

“I… told you to leave me behind if anything went wrong,” she began, “something went wrong, and… you’re still here… why? Why are you still here?! After seeing everything I’ve done! Everything I’ve put you through! Why. Are. You. Still. Helping. Me?!”

Tears formed in Marieya’s eyes as her burns glowed softly in response to her panic. Honesty stepped forward, and spoke as rationally as possible. “You’re family,” he said, “and we’re not leaving you behind.”

“Family… family doesn’t treat people like I’ve treated you all! I’ve caused so much harm…” and Marieya turned her eyes towards Tu-ughrem Bloodrot, the Gnoll known as Grem, “and to you, Gnoll, someone who got caught up in this mess without my intention… I’m sorry, this was never your fight.”

Grem shrugged, “Well, I’m here now,” he said, “may as well stick around and help.”

Marieya started pacing back and forth, hands fidgeting rapidly as her breathing grew shallow. “Well you don’t need to stick around any longer,” she said, “I’m staying here. I can’t leave this place. I need to stay here to keep everyone safe. I’ll… I’ll think of something, I’ll get you out of here, it’s the least I can-”

“How can you be so selfish?” Fauna said, interrupting the worried ramblings of her friend.

“I… uh… huh?”

“Selfish. That’s what you’re being right now. We’re here for you right now, and we’re going to bring you back whatever you say.”

A swell of positive emotion rose within Marieya, but it was quickly quashed by the phoenix who reasserted control, blue eyes being replaced by blazing orange ones. “Oh no my dear alseid, this useless girl is very much trying to be selfless right now. I’m going to break out of this prison, I am going to raze this world, and I am going to very much enjoy killing you all-no! No, I am not going to kill anyone here!”

“That’s why I can’t leave here. I… can’t control myself anymore. I can’t risk endangering any more lives… I’m sorry.”

Whilst all this was going on, Honesty had been searching around in their backpack for their mess kit, taking the tin and emptying it out before tugging at Jørgen’s furs to get his attention, pointing to his waterskin and, upon receiving a confirmatory nod, filled the empty tin up with water.

And then walked forward and threw it at Marieya.

The tin hit into her head before clattering onto the ground. An awkward silence fell between the shadow fey and the rest of the party as everyone tried to process what just happened.

“You’re still Marieya. Play with the water for me.” Honesty said.

Looking down at the ground, Marieya saw the makeshift projectile at her feet, there was still some water inside it but some droplets had fallen onto her feet and ankles, providing a satisfying, cooling effect. 

The sensation grounded Marieya back to herself, and using her own magical prowess she started shaping the water onto the ground into a winding, twisting, ribbon around her. Whatever smooth, wave-like motion her left hand made, the water followed, more of it being created as it tried to wrap around.

“Oh no, don’t think you are getting away with that sappy shit so easily!” Marieya’s mouth said without her input, as her right hand moved against her will to conjure an opposing ribbon of fire moving against the ribbon of water.

Left hand produced more water, the right hand manifested more fire. The magical elemental strands curled tighter around Marieya’s body, coming close to touching each other but all of them approaching the shadow fey’s grey, burnt skin.

“Look, I don’t know what’s gonna happen if I don’t get control back, but, I want you to know one thing.”

“If you have to strike me down, or I burn out trying to wrestle back control, or everything turns to ash, I can assure one thing.”

“Even if my soul stays broken, my memories of you all will remain intact.”

Fire and water collided, producing an intense flash and a loud boom. When vision returned to the others, they saw before them a fire-infused water elemental, looking very agitated to have been summoned somewhere far from ideal for it, but inside the shifting, watery body of the elemental was a dark, humanoid shaped shadow. Marieya was inside the elemental, controlling its every move.

Everyone stood in fear, not wanting to bring major harm to their friend, but also wanting to bring her back.

Thinking about how to attack the elemental indirectly, Fauna focused all of her magical energy to bring forth rain clouds above the battle arena, focusing the full force of the rainfall on the elemental itself. The water of its body was unaffected but the fire parts hissed and steamed as the rain made contact with it, uttering a curse in Aquan.

Realising the efficacy of this approach, the druid called upon primordial spirits to surround the elemental, weakening its resistance against further druidic magics.

Further to this logic, Jørgen attempted to use an icy spell to weaken the effectiveness of any attacks the elemental wished to make. Whilst the ice seemed to take hold of the creature, it did not seem to phase them much, only small fragments remaining on their body.

Honesty did not want to fight their friend, even if they were in control of an elemental body. Positioning himself in front of the party, he adopted a defensive stance with his rapier and dagger, unwilling to cause harm but equally unwilling to let harm come to his friends.

The elemental roared, and began manifesting boiling hot water between their hands, it turning into steam and then condensing back into boiling water seemingly in equal measure, before expelling it at the party in a large, wide cone. Everyone managed to make it out of the way in time except Jørgen who utilised his arcane prowess to absorb some of the intense heat away from his body.

Analysing the situation, the steam shade of Marieya’s closest friend, Ancil, turned to Grem and wordlessly pointed to the shoulders of the elemental before pointing at their respective swords. 

Both warriors shared a nod before charging forward, weaving between each other until reaching their target, delivering brutal slashes with greatswords to the “joints” of the elemental’s arms. The forging of their weapons caused visible harm to the creature as their arms retracted inwards, Ancil delivering two quick follow up slashes before they fully receded.

Seeing the elemental weaken from this assault, Honesty saw a moment to try something dangerous, something incredibly reckless, but something that might just work. Removing his coat and dropping his weapons, he walked forward towards this towering foe, and plunged both his arms inside its superheated body.

The pain was intense, boiling water scalding scales as the kobold tried to find something to grab onto. Until finally, he felt the ankles of Marieya, suspended within the elemental, and grabbed on tight. “Please,” he thought to himself, “please come back to us.”

The phoenix’s rage had consumed Marieya entirely whilst they had been in control of the elemental, spurring the fight onwards. That was until she felt Honesty’s touch, and various memories flooded into her mind.

Accidentally shaking down a homeless shelter.

Fighting desperately to save Vantar.

Rushing over to give her a healing hug at Donnermark.

And even now, Honesty put himself into harm’s way in an attempt to bring his friend back. The rage did not subside within Marieya, it was completely pushed back by the realisation that this humble kobold was willing to do whatever it takes.

With that, Marieya burst forth out of the back of the elemental, using her wings to raise herself above the ground and looking down at her friends, smiling fondly at Honesty.

“Having a pleasant flashback are we?” the phoenix spoke to Marieya in her mind, the rage only being held back for a moment before they were able to reassert itself, “you may have broken one plan, but I am not through with you yet!”

Orange eyes came back in full force as Marieya turned to the elemental, now free from internal control and looking to exact retribution against the one who summoned them. “Useless vessel,” the phoenix said as they glided forward and slammed their fist inside the elemental’s head, dissipating it instantly but using its body to forge a blade of rippling, boiling water.

All of the party stood by, not wanting to be the first to harm Marieya now that she was outside of her elemental shell. Jørgen attempted to use a spell that attacked her mind rather than her body, but such magic was ineffective against something so driven by rage. 

Fauna invoked druidic magic, conjuring forth a concentrated beam of moonlight in the hope that the phoenix was just a form that Marieya assumed, similar to a shapechanger. But whilst it did do some minor damage, it did nothing to return her to how she once was.

The phoenix laughed, beginning to speak words of power and rage. Three small balls of fire began to orbit around them as each one seemed to start to form into a beam pointed at a different party member. Before they could fire though, Jørgen gave a swift slash of his arm, and the balls of fire turned into lumps of ice which then fell to the ground, shattering.

“You think a simple counterspell can stop my raw power?!” the phoenix said, turning their ire fully to the wizard, “witness the laws of magic bend to my fury!”. The burns on Marieya’s body glowed with intensity as the phoenix almost seemed to groan in pain as a bolt of fire manifested quicker than anyone else could react.

Whilst their attention was diverted elsewhere, Ancil conjured up a projectile made of ice and threw it towards the phoenix. Focus being elsewhere did not seem to make their reactions any less effective, as the projectile missed and the resulting explosion failed to make contact as well.

With his touch having been effective and Marieya now able to hear his voice, Honesty attempted to reason verbally with his friend.

“Marieya… come home, please,” he said, “don’t die right after we’ve come into possession of a keep”. Grem turned to the rest of the party as he said this, a raised eyebrow asking for confirmation if this is true, nods being returned. “You can end this now, and you can come home with us and rest for as long as you need to. We’ll be here. I promise.”

A warm smile crossed Marieya’s faced, eyes rapidly shifting between blue and orange as she struggled to bring the phoenix within her back under control. “NO!”, the phoenix said within her mind as it felt its influence begin to wane, “I am so close to freedom! I will not let you do this to me again!”.

Using all of her mental strength to push those thoughts out of her mind, Marieya had regained enough control to allow herself to divebomb right into the ground in the middle of the party, watery blade landing to the side, laying her body as flat as possible to allow her friends to restrain her and put a stop to things non-lethally.

Honesty came over and held her tight, infusing her with divine energy in the hope of it bringing her further back to reality. Jørgen took out rope to restrain her arms in the hope that the phoenix could no longer perform the hand motions of magic. Fauna used her magic to destroy the sword Marieya was carrying. And Grem stood guard, sword at the ready in case things went wrong.

“Fine… I may not be able to escape this realm, but I can at least take you with me!”

The burns all around Marieya’s back glowed brighter than they ever have previously, before erupting into flames as the phoenix soul burst forth from her body. The entire world seemed to shake as a loud caw echoed through the air, attempting to kill everyone currently in the demiplane of steam as a desperate last action.

Instinctively, Marieya created a protective bubble of steam around her friends who were keeping guard over. Despite the fact this steam was producing a fair amount of heat, for the first time in her life, Marieya was cold. The phoenix soul had caused her so many issues, but through every moment in her life it provided her a constant, almost comforting warmth.

But now that was gone, and although she was surrounded by friends, she had never felt more alone.

“I… I’m sorry…” she said, sobbing softly into the soil beneath them, “I d-don’t know if I can stop this,” her unrestrained wings wrapped around her shivering body, holding her in an attempt to bring her temperature back up, “I never meant for any of this to happen… and now I have no idea what to do anymore…”

“You just need to keep going,” Honesty said, “because you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“I was very deliberate with my flowers Marieya,” Fauna said, “some are dangerous if not treated with respect, but in the end all of them are as beautiful as I see you.”

“And don’t give me any of that rubbish about thinking less of you,” Jørgen said, “you should know by now that someone rational will never think less of you for battling struggles.”

The ropes binding Marieya were slashed open by Grem in a gesture of good faith, who gave an affirming nod. “Thank you,” Marieya said, flexing her wings as the bubble of steam began to dissipate, “this was not your fight, but I’m making sure you get back home!”

With a mighty flap and an incredibly strong leap, Marieya flew into the air after the phoenix soul trying to collapse the realm, reaching them in no time at all and getting its attention by scraping an arm arcing with lightning across their spine. The fiery bird turned to Marieya who had her arms raised in a position inviting confrontation.

To which the phoenix responded in turn, exhaling a cone of pure elemental fire. This was matched by Marieya, who extended out a hand and expelled a cone of icy energy, the two attacks cancelling each other out.

This triggered an intense aerial battle between the two powerful forces of magic, each of them flying close to each other trading spells with increasing ferocity, every new burst of magic prompting an escalation by the other. Each side perfectly matched in both casting prowess and airborne acrobatics, neither allowing the other to get a clear shot at the other.

Eventually a spell forced them a significant distance apart, staring each other down before accelerating at a rapid rate between each other. When the onlookers thought they were going to collide they instead banked slightly in opposing directions before spiralling around each other, ascending higher into the air.

Each turn brought them closer together until the two finally collided, a massive solar flare like explosion coming from their contact point and obscuring them from the party.

The two sides of Marieya had recombined, and the young shadow fey came face to face with the manifestation of the phoenix soul merged with her regrets and depression. “Do you think this means anything?!” it said to her, pacing aggressively in front of her, “you have succeeded in locking me back into your body once more but that does not save you!”

They pulled down their hood, revealing a mirror image of Marieya with several glowing orange cracks permeating their ashen skin, orange eyes with flames inside the pupils, and a permanent rage-filled expression. “I will always be a part of who you are!”

“You will always be a part of me,” Marieya said, approaching the phoenix and getting extremely close to them… before pulling them into a hug, “and I forgive you.”

“You… what?”, the phoenix said, incredibly confused at this turn of events.

“You are my warmth, a part of my soul forever. And I have hated you for far too long now… I don’t want to fear you any more, I want to embrace you.”

“But… you are a monster! A fire starter! A murderer! How can you stand to live with yourself like this?”

“Because I’m not any of those things. I have made a lot of mistakes, mistakes that I will live with forever… but I can’t hate myself for these mistakes anymore.”

The hug tightened between the two halves of Marieya. “And I can’t hate you for whatever I see as your part in those mistakes”. The phoenix then paused for a moment, before slowly reciprocating the hug with Marieya, a soft blue glow encompassing them both.

The glow increased in intensity. As it did the phoenix began slowly merging back into Marieya, the warmth that had kept Marieya company all her life was with her once more, though this time it came with an inner peace that she had not experienced in a long time. Her appearance had returned to normal as well, no longer carrying feathered wings, she was back to how she always was.

She turned around and saw the three steam shades of her friends. Summoned into the realm to aid the friends she had now, she gave a slight bow to them and said, “…I know I’ll never get to say sorry properly, and I know you’re just figments of my imagi–”

“Oh shut the fuck up you brooding bitch,” Izumi said, “you can move on from us now. You got more important shit to worry about you daft twat!”

Vardal shook his head, but couldn’t find the words to add to that statement, so followed it up by saying, “what Izumi said but with less cursing”.

And Ancil merely smiled at Marieya, before all three of them faded into the steam once more.

Slowly shrinking down, the solar flare retracted into Marieya and she floated back down to the ground, able to look upon her true friends with clear eyes again.

“I have chosen my champion well,” a booming voice emanated throughout the realm, the voice of Seggotan, “and thank you, brave adventurers, for bringing her soul back… in more ways than one.”

A pool of crystal clear blue water formed behind Marieya. “Leave this place, before it collapses in on itself,” Seggotan said, as the party jumped one-by-one into the pool, speaking again before Marieya was the last to go in, “be warned Marieya Ebontide, you might have my favour but you have still failed in your initial quest. The challenges ahead present great danger to the mortal realm, but I now know my faith in you and your friends is not misplaced.”

Marieya smiled to herself, muttering a prayer under her breath, ending it with a characteristically casual, “thanks dude, see you later”, before jumping into the pool acting as a connection to the mortal realm, allowing her to return to Midgard, complete again.

Inspiration

This… is probably the piece of writing I can comfortably say is the hardest one I have ever had to write. Not only for it being the longest piece of fiction I have written in a long time but also for it coming after one of the most emotionally taxing D&D sessions I have ever been a part of.

So, as explained in Marieya’s Refusal, Marieya died. And the resurrection quest to bring her back was jointly designed by myself and my DM, with us taking equal responsibility in running things. However, it was decided that I would be running the majority of the final “arc” in the quest, which led to having to be a DM, controlling Marieya fighting against her own friends.

I definitely want to follow up this story with how I designed things, and why certain things were chosen, but I do want to get into what this was like emotionally for me.

In short: soul-wracking.

In much longer: playing Marieya for this session involved digging down into my own psyche and calling upon vulnerabilities I have not exposed in a long time. When I was acting out the dialogue for Marieya I was constantly on the verge of tears due to the emotions I was calling upon, which translated into what I hope was genuine dialogue of someone terrified of who they are right now.

Loneliness tends to be a theme that comes with most of the D&D characters I write. Marieya’s specific brand of loneliness is the struggle to accept that she does have people around her who understand her, who know that she has done not great things in the past but view her more as who she is now as opposed to going off who she said she was, and as Honesty says, “she doesn’t have to be alone anymore”.

I am very glad that the encounter ended up more social than combat focused. Although that prompted me having to think about how to handle player’s reactions to what was presented, I think it made for a more compelling scene overall as none of the party really wanted to fight Marieya, they just wanted to bring her back.

The title is a twofold reference, the obvious one being is that this is Marieya gaining emancipation from her past and from this realm she created, but it also refers to the music I was initially going to use for the first two phases of the fight: Emancipation from Ace Combat 4, though I eventually decided against it for a handful of reasons that’ll be explained in the design write up.

For now though, I hope you enjoyed reading this. I put a lot of emotion into this piece, and I like how it turned out.