(for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)
Good morning geniuses and boffins, welcome to Day 36 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
Yesterday was a little difficult honestly, ended up needing to have a bit of a cry away from my desk cause of having some intense emotions spring up as I was trying to get through my work. The afternoon was a bit more settled with me actually being able to get some stuff done, even if I did not feel too great with it.
Part of my contracting work involves topics I am somewhat familiar with due to my degree, but considering I graduated in 2020 and abandoned what my specialist subject was, it does not feel entirely fantastic to be working with it again – even for the day rate I am receiving.
I have booked an appointment with my therapist to discuss how my life is going. I last saw her in April when I started to pick up the writing on the wall for my old company and talked about wanting to make a change in my career before the shit approached the fan at a great velocity, and part of my main plan moving forward has her advice ringing in my ears once more.
Whenever a challenge comes my way and I told her about it she would always emphasise one thing:
“Neuroplasticity states that the brain needs twenty one days to start adapting to a change”
Catastrophising is something I fall into often, especially when it comes to trying to maintain my professional identity. Even when I know the people I am working with I can often develop feelings of inadequacy about my output.
But today is only my third day, and whilst I have struggles I do have wins as well, with me being certain that new stuff will appear soon enough that takes my interest a lot more.
For now, I will try take each day at a time, take pride in when they go well and seek comfort on times they are harder.
Comfort is going to be the theme of today’s review, with me talking about one of the most important aspects of being transgender.
Is it a good bra? Not today, although having been eaten alive by underwire that is definitely something to properly invest in.
Good shoes? Shoes are important to everyone, I just wish finding comfy goth stompers was not so difficult for my massive feet.
Nope, what I want to talk about today is an essential aspect of comfort to trans people and one of our most recognisable stereotypes.
Yup, it is time for me to talk about the lovable IKEA shark: BLÅHAJ.
Pronounced either as spelled or as “blue-hi” for those wanting to conform to the Swedes, this shark plushie comes in two sizes as a 55cm variant for £5 or as a 100cm variant for £22, both are incredible plushies even outside of the meme. They are extremely soft and squishable, making them perfect to hug tight on hard days.
I have had my own personal BLÅHAJ since 2022 when I moved out of my parent’s place which enabled me to start living my truth, and “Sharky” as my main one is called has provided me a massive amount of comfort on my harder days, to the point he is very flat now with the stuffing deflated from multiple cuddle sessions.
To be loved is to be changed though, and whilst I would not mind getting him professionally cleaned, I do not think I would want to get him restuffed for a while yet… especially as I do have a fresh BLÅHAJ who lives on the sofa for that exact reason… and two smaller ones who live on my giant plushie shelf.
Even as my nephew was born the first gift I sent to him was a 55cm BLÅHAJ, both as a perfect soft toy for a newborn but also to serve as a reminder of who his Auntie Rosa is – a badass trans woman who will cry a lot, but still get the job done.
And I definitely cry a lot still, especially over these last few months, but I am still here, and I am still getting the job done.
That will be all for today, I hope you are enjoying the cooler weather wherever you are and that hitting hump day is not too hard for you.
For more information on BLÅHAJ, visit the IKEA website here: BLÅHAJ soft toy, shark, 100 cm – IKEA UK
Rosalia Rambles 
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