Another member of “The Seven” has found themselves in hot water after the trial of Cleatus McGala-gear concluded today, resulting in a settlement for the Elven Empire. Hoping to branch out into new ventures after the conclusion of the war he had secured planning permission to build a casino in orbit around Paradise One – difficulty was encountered from day one due to fierce yet warranted resistance from individuals within the Elven Empire.
Trust was given despite tenuous tension from detractors, including organised protests from veterans of the war who decried the inflated egos of The Seven feeling they ignore the amount of Elven blood that was spilled in order to repel the Wrothians. Work continued up until the inciting incident that indicted the iconic individual.
Witnesses describe a scene in which McGala-gear, in full view of onlookers, used a charm spell on an Elven surveyor hoping to distract from the disastrous deeds going on behind the scenes. The horror, dear reader, of not only trying to cover up one’s misdeeds but resorting to the mental assault of a proud, diligent, and loyal Elven official.
Questions arose instantly. If a so-called “hero” was willing to stoop this low against trusted civil servants, what else has gone on behind closed doors? What horrors has this charlatan Cleatus inflicted upon the perfected beauty of Paradise One? Readers of a squeamish nature are advised to avert their eyes to what comes next.
The sculpted terrain? Destroyed. The beautiful vistas? Tarnished. The health & safety code? Violated.
Major Image Generators were discovered at the scene of this heinous crime, along with manipulative misdirection aimed at making monkeys out of our brave investigators. The former hid the crimes against nature, and the latter was a failed folly to lead legal efforts astray. Only the most luxury of dwellings were even remotely presentable, hoping to secure further investment for a stalling project.
Thankfully, our supreme system of Elven justice has made right the extensive list of charges: embezzlement, bribery, the violation of a citizen’s right to peace. The casino project is now back in the rightful reach of the Elven Empire, and our noble leaders have publicly started to distance themselves from The Seven, finally reflecting popular sentiment in sensible policy.
Cleatus McGala-gear read out a prepared statement after the verdict was handed down, through the gaps of his obnoxiously outdated shutter shades our photographer could see his shot & strained eyes as his voice trembled:
“To the citizens of the Elven Empire, I beg you for forgiveness. I wish to not let this simple mistake of mine overshadow the good work myself and my compatriots have done for this galaxy. I wished to see this project succeed, and the stress of having to step in as a site manager was the reason behind my actions. I know this does not excuse what I have done, and I ask for privacy, respect, and patience, during this trying time for me and my family.”
Inspiration
So… this is my first bit of creative writing being published in… one heck of a long time, and it is also my first commission in a while.
A friend of mine needed newspaper articles for his space-themed D&D campaign to show the impact of the party’s actions on the world and decided to hire me for them. This is the first of two articles with the second one to come sometime soon once the notes to write it from.
This first one is based around the trial of one of the legendary heroes within his story who went on trial for making a botched casino project within the confines of the Elven Empire, specifically on one of their fabricated luxury worlds.
Initially it was quite difficult to consider the tone I wanted to go for. I had all the events laid out for me, I just needed to put them together in a believable way for it to come across as an article that would be in Elven newspapers.
And then a brainwave hit me.
Elves in most fantasy worlds tend to be foppish creatures, vain & prideful to their cores, and when it comes to how they would be communicating a victory for their own justice system, it would read almost like propaganda in a way.
Thankfully, I have played a massive amount of Helldivers 2 over the last couple of months, so writing over-the-top propaganda came surprisingly natural to me – now that I have pointed this out, you might be able to pick up on the influences within some of my sentence structure.
And of course, writing a newspaper article means having an actually valid reason to use my favourite literary device: alliteration. If it is not already painfully obvious, given the website name and the name of my headline series, I am a slut for alliteration, there is something incredibly pleasing in being able to string sentences seamlessly with varied vocabulary, see?
When one of my friends in this game gave me feedback as well, it gave me an interesting writing prompt based on these newspaper articles, so watch this space to see what comes of that soon.
Commission information
This was a commission, and I would like to take this moment to advertise my commission rates for fiction. For a 500-word news article like this, I charged £40. If what I have written interests you in getting something similar or you want my writing style for your project, consider hiring me!
I am also perfectly happy to be contacted with whatever your idea and budget is – I am fully willing to work with you to reach a solution that makes both of us happy.
Rosalia Rambles 
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