Rosalia Rambles

Category: Redundancy Review

  • Redundancy Review: Day 75, “Back to Recovery”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning reclaimers and salvagers, welcome to Day 75 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    This whole cosplay debacle is still pretty raw in my mind as I write this. I feel a lot of regret about how things went down and what I could have done differently, which, in general I try not to dwell on regret as part of my life philosophy. 

    Is there plenty I have done in my life that I can and do feel regret over? Yes – but ultimately I try to not to let myself feel regret long. For all that I can regret, I am still in the position I am now because of my actions, good or bad, so spending time wallowing ultimately does not serve what I want to do.

    It is just this specific instance and what the result of it was supposed to be that makes me wonder what I could have done differently as part of the commission process. Should I have messaged after the estimated delivery date passed, giving myself almost three months worth of time? Should I have pressed the seller more in general even though they said they do not give WIPs?

    In general though, I mainly feel sad. This sadness prevails even as I consider the fact I have a backup plan for a cosplay that people in the community seem interested in, but I find it hard to discover the impetus to work on the cosplay or accessories because of how derailed my initial plan is.

    Sadness is also what is making me struggle with wanting to write, even though a good part of the Redundancy Review is trying to capture my day-to-day feelings, from the highs and the lows, but the sadness usually comes with fogginess that can make it hard to sit down and write, even though I have demonstrated multiple times that I can utilise my emotions and channel them into my work, like with my anti-AI and anti-government rantings.

    If I am honest, this is probably going to stay raw in my mind up until I get into the post-con depression phase of my convention, have greater sadness replace the current sadness and also go past the crux of what makes the current sadness so great. 

    I want to try to write every day up until my convention, especially as I have been slacking in recent weeks, and hopefully I can work through the sadness to do that.

    Though, one thing that I always find it easy to write about is food… that is right, we are back with another exciting installment of:

    Rosa Eats Her Way Around Shrewsbury!

    I really like that I have made this a regular segment, even if I do not consider myself an official food reviewer of sorts, and more just a foodie who loves talking about the places she goes to.

    And today we have another local joint known as “The Exchange”, a sort of fancier pub style of venue with food to match, offering up classics like fish & chips, burgers, and gammon.

    We went there because I wanted to take my parents out to dinner to say thanks to them for helping me through things when it came to my redundancy and joblessness, from paying for meals out, to my mum providing me with food that would have been wasted off otherwise at her job. 

    For starters, I ordered a simple portion of southern fried chicken strips which came with a black pepper mayo. An incredibly generous portion of strips with a simple yet delicious dip, which when paired with the extremely reasonable price tag of £6.50 for this amount of food made for an excellent starter that prepared me well enough for my main.

    Initially my partner and I had planned on ordering what is known as the “Meaty Boy Platter” off their menu and sharing that, but once we had conferred that we were both absolutely starving by this, we went for our own mains, which for me was a simple bacon cheeseburger.

    Burgers for me are similar in a way to pizza, in that it is very difficult to make an objectively bad burger, instead variations in preparation leading to differing results. Regular readers will also know I have reviewed a lot of burgers as part of eating my way around Shrewsbury, and this one was… alright.

    Which is a bit of a shame to say, because for the price point of £17.50 (base price being £15.50 and adding on £2 to add bacon & mozzarella), I was expecting something fantastic. 

    The burger patty itself was well cooked and seasoned, being extraordinarily juicy to the point I took my arm warmers off before consumption, but the cheese and bacon did not really add anything to the burger as well. 

    Whilst mozzarella is in contention for being my favourite cheese of all time, it is nowhere near the top spot as burger cheese specifically due to its mild flavour not really offering any contrast to the flavour of the meat. 

    Additionally, the bacon was back bacon rather than streaky bacon, matching the popularity of the cut in the UK, but emphasising why streaky is used instead as the thick meatiness of the back bacon kind of overwhelmed the beef patty in some bites rather than complimenting the flavour of the beef.

    Finally, the fries were… good. The entire main I had was very middle of the road, being an alright burger served with alright fries. I think part of my mind was expecting something closer to hand cut chips rather than fries as part of the meal in a venue such as this.

    Now, we get into a part of the story that is a little more difficult to talk about, and that unfortunately does not come with pictures because of what happened. After our mains were finished and we ordered dessert, we waited.

    And waited.

    And waited a little more.

    Flagged down the assistant manager.

    And waited.

    And kept waiting.

    Until fifty minutes later, we received our dessert. In the venue’s defence, they had a private function of twenty people booked upstairs and the kitchen definitely seemed to have got a little overwhelmed because of some plates being sent back, but it would have been nice to get a little more attention as part of the wait, especially as it was only after our dessert arrived that we were offered some free drinks as compensation.

    However, I cannot complain too much for two reasons. The first being that our starters and mains were promptly delivered, and it was this private party that put a knock-on effect on the kitchen, leading to delays for both our desserts and other customer’s food.

    Second being that because of how long we waited for the desserts, the manager comped them off our bill for us with his apologies. The wait was annoying, but it was incredibly appreciated to see the manager stepping up, taking responsibility, and making it right by us. 

    We were planning to return to The Exchange at some point anyway to try other options on the menu (mainly for myself to see what I might like beyond the burger), but the integrity of the management definitely cemented the idea of going back due to how well we were treated in the face of a problem.

    …I should really do food reviews more often, they flow so easily for me compared to other topics, though I doubt my waistline would appreciate that fact… that said I have a food review lined up for tomorrow as well so look forward to that.

    But thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review all the same. For all of you in the UK alongside me, enjoy the long weekend, for the Monday blues have no hold on us now!

    For more information on The Exchange, visit their website here: The Exchange | Kitchen & Cocktail Bar | Shrewsbury

  • Redundancy Review: Days 70-74, “Small Victories, Big Losses”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning bassists and drummers, welcome to a massive catch-up post for a bunch of missed days of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    A lot of what I write for the review is self-indulgent. I talk about my emotions, things that make me feel happy, and food I have eaten that tasted good. The entire series is a reflection of myself written down as a living record.

    And so, given the fact I took a very hard loss over the last week, I am going to take today’s catch-up post to let my emotions fly a little bit, because fuck me do I need it.

    There has been a lot that has gone wrong in my life, wasted my degree years due to stubbornness, losing friends cause of a lack of emotional intelligence, and going through severe periods of distress due to transition related issues.

    But I can comfortably say that the last three months of my life have been the worst period I have ever experienced – and that is fucking saying something considering how dark my mind got during my university days.

    Ever since I got the news that the company I worked for was in the shit, I have been fighting every day to try get small victories, and I should not minimise the fact that even small victories mean a lot when I have gone through what I have gone through.

    But for every small victory I feel like I take a big loss alongside it, and I am really fucking tired of that happening.

    Even in the last couple of days I have taken a small victory and a big loss simultaneously with my custom cosplay order falling through two weeks before my convention. The seller was courteous and offered me a full refund for my disappointment, which is the small victory, but the big loss comes from the fact this outfit felt like it was going to be the centrepiece of my convention holiday – something I have been looking forward to all year and now I have to go put together a backup plan in a short amount of time.

    I am not going to name and shame the seller. As part of the refund I agreed that I would not leave a negative review, and I am sticking to that. I would much rather move on and try make something positive out of this mess… finding yet more small victories.

    Every day feels fearful to me now, as if something has changed in my brain that has shifted my outlook from nervous optimism to outright pessimism. I had a breakdown on my partner last night and when I started talking about some of the fears I have about upcoming things, I said a line that breaks my heart even now to repeat:

    “I am wanting to prepare for the worst because that is all I can expect nowadays”.

    Making the best out of a bad situation should be an admirable trait, one I can take pride of, especially as someone who has lived in startup culture for the last three plus years and has made a name for herself of trying to be adaptable in times of crisis, knowing how to problem-solve my way out of anything.

    But I resent the fact I have become that person.

    I resent that I can never go long without needing to put out a fire.

    And I hate the fact that everything I am going through is making me a colder person and I do not know what to do to stop it – which I am not even sure I fully agree with saying cause the main thing that differentiates this period of time from the previous absolute worst time of my life is that I actually recognise I have people to live for now.

    I will keep going, I do not want to stop… but I am absolutely praying for a better season to come my way, because quite frankly, this summer has sucked.

    Going to keep it simple with a different review today, talking about another Stardew Valley save of mine that I have with a friend, this time on the Forest Farm layout.

    I have mentioned it in passing before, but I have an obsession with building infrastructure in video games. Paths, roads, transport structures, all of it is fair game for me wanting to make neat layouts & patterns in whatever I play, and Stardew is a game I find surprisingly useful for that purpose, especially when presented with the challenges of any of the nonstandard layouts.

    Forest in particular has been an interesting challenge, in trying to find the perfect blend of farming crops, farming animals, and utilising the main feature of the farm – that being renewable forage and hardwood options.

    Initially I had struggled with this task, especially when it came to building layouts that could work with the sprinkler patterns I usually use without actually having the sprinklers to plan out the infrastructure.

    But as with my mind itself, things start to make a lot more sense around Winter in this game, and without needing to worry about (much) crop watering and focus more on getting stuff organised for the next year, I feel a lot happier plotting out paths and working out where things need to go.

    On this map in particular, it is evidenced by the massive tree farm I am trying to establish in the top middle of the map. This initially started small scale with each tree type being vertically aligned which made collecting forage from the tappers a nightmare, but once I had established where the animal pasture needed to go a lot of space opened up which has led to the larger scale farm pictured above.

    There is definitely still a lot of work to be done on this farm, but considering this is only the end of Year 1, I am extremely excited to see where this goes next.

    Here is where I would usually say something about getting my rhythm back, but honestly, as much as the Redundancy Review will keep going, I am not sure how well I will be able to write individual days depending on my mood – I definitely want to try chronicle my convention holiday each day, but, we will see how it goes.

    Thank you for reading this far if you did, I hope you are able to have a relaxing weekend, a longer one than usual if you are in the UK.

  • Redundancy ‘Review’: Day 69, “Nice”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning swingers and mixers, welcome to Day 69 (nice) of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Day 69 (nice).

    A milestone I was looking forward to for a while.

    Not because of any significance. This day holds no relevance to my redundancy journey, or even to my personal journey.

    But I have been writing semi-regularly enough to reach the fabled funny number: Day 69 (nice).

    Yes I am immature as fuck for revelling in this, but goddamn this is a small victory I am milking to hell.

    That and I did not sleep at all last night because it turns out when you have been withdrawn from caffeine for a while that going back on it means you end up staying up till three in the goddamn morning just thinking.

    Convention anxiety is also not helping me right now, though my partner was once again there to talk me down.

    It has been almost six years since my last convention, and I really want things to go well as this is also my first time entering the VTuber space in an offline capacity – having been adjacent to the space since 2021.

    Yeah… nah, not feeling writing a proper review today. My head is too foggy from lack of sleep, so I am just going to include the definition of “nice” as my thumbnail image.

    69 days… nice.

    Thank you for reading this brief edition of the Redundancy Review. Hopefully you got a bit more sleep than me and can beat the Monday blues off better than I can right now.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 68, “The Answer Is Caffeine”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning brewers and roasters, welcome to Day 68 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    I have found the solution to my spacing out issue I have been experiencing.

    It was caffeine.

    What I was experiencing was caffeine withdrawal combined with antidepressant withdrawal.

    It has been so hot and humid in the UK recently that I have not had any desire to make a hot coffee or the energy to make a cold coffee, instead choosing to drink copious amounts of water and canned soft drinks to beat the heat.

    Whilst this helped me beat the heat, my body is used to a regular intake of caffeinated substances and so if I am not able to consume any or, like in this case, completely forget to consume any, the withdrawal symptoms tend to onset pretty quickly and usually abate once I have remembered to take in caffeine.

    In today’s instance, my partner made me a mocha shortly after I crawled out of bed and then I had an iced mocha around two hours later as part of my lunch, which has led to me feeling the best I have in a couple of days. My mind and instincts have been the best they have been since my spacing out started.

    Initially I could have fixed it yesterday after a shopping trip, because I had considered picking up a Relentless due to a long week but initially decided against it due to not wanting to be wired out of my mind for a D&D game – which was a good decision in hindsight because yesterday’s game was one of the best sessions I had in a while.

    Hopefully with the temperatures cooling down I remember to imbibe the blessed substance.

    For now though, we have today’s review, another exciting installment of…

    Rosa Eats Her Way Around Shrewsbury!

    I really need a dedicated logo for this, perhaps something like an axolotl with its mouth wrapped around a burger. 

    And no, no GenAI to get one quickly. I have standards and would want to pay an artist to create this.

    Last night I was thinking about wanting to go out today. I usually go out every day on a walk for my lunch hour but today there was no need to go out except for the sole desire of leaving the flat, as we had already gone shopping for everything we needed for the week and did not need anything extra for tonight.

    Thankfully, my partner felt the same, and after much deliberation of where we might want to go for a sort of brunch, we settled on a local bistro-style restaurant known as “The Ol’Chemist”. 

    We have been there a few times for meals at all hours except dinner, and in this instance we had specifically arrived just in time for them to start serving their lunch menu, where something in particular caught my eye.

    But first, drinks.

    My partner, pictured in the background, had a Cookies & Cream “Freakshake”, which looked absolutely fantastic, whereas I settled on a nice, simple, iced mocha as mentioned previously. 

    The tall Collins glass made a nice change for how iced coffee beverages are normally presented to me, along with a minimal amount of ice that reduced how slushy the drink ended up after it sat for a while, experiencing minimal slush and making it perfectly pleasant to sip on as we waited for our food, with it coming in at the very small price point of £3.95 making it all the more enjoyable for being £1 less than drinks of a similar quality.

    However, what I was particularly excited for was what I ordered off the lunch menu: Beef Sliders… sort of. When I went to order our lovely waitress told me that the kitchen is out of the beef they used for the slider, but they would be happy to substitute in either chicken or, what I selected, brisket.

    These were absolutely phenomenal, potentially being even better because of the brisket being used instead. As someone who absolutely loves pickles in all forms, the chunkiness of how the pickles were cut and placed on the surprisingly soft buns made me very happy, with the sheer amount of melted cheese only improving the taste.

    For these two sliders it cost £9.95, a bit pricey in terms of wanting a simple lunch especially compared to some other cafe offerings around town, but for the price it absolutely hit the spot, definitely being filling enough to keep me going until I make dinner later tonight. 

    If I were looking for more I possibly would have added a portion of fries to go along with it, but I was more than happy with what I got, especially as the vibes were immaculate and the staff were lovely.

    That does it for today, thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. I am very glad I have found my rhythm as we have an exciting milestone tomorrow that I would not want to combine any days for. Wherever you are I hope you can enjoy your Sunday and make the most of it before Monday arrives again.

    For more information on Ol’Chemist, visit their Instagram page here: The Ol’Chemist Shrewsbury (@the.olchemist) • Instagram photos and videos

  • Redundancy Review, Day 67, “A lot of spacing out”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning astronauts and stargazers, welcome to Day 67 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy review.

    Committing to a short one for a variety of reasons:

    • My brain is spaced out to hell right now
    • It is a Saturday and I would not mind continuing to relax especially after a somewhat stressful morning
    • What I want to review I have not taken time to do screenshots yet especially as it is from another game I have 100%ed

    So, I will do a short check-in and a short review.

    Last night and this morning were oddly rough, my emotions have been in a heavily spiked state leaning specifically towards the sad side of things, thoughts of being a failure, my writing not being good enough, and myself not being good enough for my friends. Thankfully my partner has been there for me to talk me down through it all, but it definitely still feels a little hard to bear with my own head right now.

    The spaciness I am feeling does not massively help things either, as in some instances I feel oddly disconnected from my body, leading my mind to just wander as I lie down and everything feels oddly floaty. It is entirely possible it is related to my antidepressant weaning, and that this is one of the withdrawal symptoms, meaning it hopefully wears off soon.

    But for now, I relax, and try my best to unwind from my work week – which non-awkwardly leads into what I want to talk about today: one of my favourite videos to have on in the background to zone out to.

    Defunctland is a Youtube channel specialising in documentary-style videos talking about various theme park-related topics, ranging from deep dives into the history of the Disney parks to one-off attractions at smaller venues. Kevin Perjurer is an absolute delight to listen to across any video, his deadpan delivery of certain lines adding to the humour of his witty scriptwriting.

    Specifically this video is one people might recognise, as it is the main video on his channel that went insanely viral, accumulating 24 million views in just under four years currently. Despite it being a little weird to say, it is a video I often find myself returning to for comfort, having watched it multiple times over the years.

    I can say the same for a lot of Kevin’s videos, but something about the FastPass one just brings a familiar feeling of comfort that lets my brain truly turn off and stop being so damn loud whenever I have it on. Whether it is the delivery of the jokes remaining timeless, or the fact there is so much research and effort put into each segment of the video, the movie-length nature does not put me off in the slightest.

    Since it is a video, I need to find a screengrab for the thumbnail of this post, and I know the perfect image.

    This is my favourite punchline to a joke in this entire video, I will not spoil it for anyone who wants to watch but if you do not feel like watching the entire thing (completely reasonable given its runtime), just watch from around the 57:00 mark for around a minute to get the full effect.

    Despite this essentially being a placeholder day, I am oddly proud of this one. It still feels like I put effort into it and fills the criteria of why my daily work has a “review” segment – to show off something that makes me happy, and today’s topic certainly does.

    All the same, thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review. I hope you can enjoy a relaxing Saturday wherever you are and that the looming spectre of Monday is not bringing you down too much.

    For more information on Defunctland, visit their Youtube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@Defunctland/featured 

  • Redundancy Review: Day 65 & 66, “Embracing the Flip-Flop”

    Redundancy Review: Day 65 & 66, “Embracing the Flip-Flop”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning flips and flops, welcome to Day 65 & 66 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Initially tried writing Day 65 yesterday as a semi-placeholder day, but I ended up being way too spaced out to finish writing anything. I am not entirely sure what was causing the space-out or the dizziness, but I can reasonably assume it is one of the bigger changes I have been working on in the background.

    Recently had a friend compliment me on how I put stuff out into the open so willingly and they like that about me, with today’s topic being no different.

    For about two weeks now, I have been weaning myself off my antidepressants.

    Disclaimer: My words are not meant to be taken as advice to either stop taking antidepressants or decide not to pursue them. If you feel your medication is helping you, then continue taking it, likewise if you feel medication is what you need to help you. Always follow the advice of your doctor when it comes to antidepressant medication and consult them before any major changes.

    Bit of context, I had been on the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) Sertraline since about November of last year, having had a mental breakdown around that time due to a large combination of factors and wanting to see how the medication would help me out.

    In short, it brought my mood into a consistent “happy medium” point as I frequently called it – and for a good amount of time I was satisfied with existing in that happy medium. But as time went on and I became redundant, that happy medium was something I no longer wanted to have as my baseline.

    With the way my brain works, combining a potent cocktail of estrogen, ADHD, and general mental fuzziness means my emotions fluctuate wildly throughout a day sometimes… actually hold on I have the perfect image to use this for:

    Yeah it looks pretty much like that for me on a given day, whereas my antidepressants would stabilise my line in the middle. For some people, that is all they would need, craving stability and a mood that does not shift throughout the day.

    For me though… it feels weird to say, but I want to try embrace all my emotions more – even the negative ones. I want to feel the highest highs and the lowest lows, not suppressing how I feel and just letting my emotions fly out.

    It has been hard for me to embrace emotional expression, and to an extent I still find a fair amount of difficulty with it. Not so long ago I would suppress any negative emotion I had because I did not know how to process it properly, which inevitably led to things boiling over in my mind and causing me to lash out anyway.

    That is not to say I am an expert at it now; because I am really not. Learning how my brain and emotions work is a long form process for me that I think will still take a significant amount of time to understand, but I want to learn about them in their purest, unrestrained form before figuring out how I want to work with them.

    Similarly, I find myself wanting to embrace the flip-flop in my career as well. Right now my contract role is sustaining me in a way that is working, but I have ambitions way outside of the tech industry that I would love to explore as well.

    As a massive VTuber fan, the idea crosses my mind of getting a model and trying to establish my own brand of content in a massively saturated market, not only for the potential niche I would love to try to fulfill, but also as a way of further introducing things that make me happy to other people.

    I aim to continue improving my baking skills, along with working towards making homemade pickles and sauces with the aim I could one day sell them at a market of sorts, and of course writing work falls into this mix as well, either as a professional copywriter somewhere or just picking up odd jobs here and there.

    My position in life right now is not entirely in danger, so for me, this is the best time to explore and try new things to see what I might want to do as a career outside of what has been familiar to me for so long.

    For now though, I shall continue on the path I am currently walking, enjoying my card games, plushies, and everything else in between. The most important thing in between being food, which is a perfect and not-at-all awkward segue into another exciting episode of…

    Rosa Eats Her Way Around Shrewsbury!

    It has been a while since I have done one of these, and this time I hit up a proper local joint called “Bird And Beer”, specialising in fried chicken and beer, in case the name did not give it away.

    This is a place my partner has been asking for me to try since he went while I was away in Scotland, and tonight we finally went out together as a treat. The menu is decently sized but offers all the favourites: strips, wings, burgers, and a good variety of sides.

    Now, I am someone who appreciates the spicier things in life, and constantly tests my limits in regards to my spice tolerance. Usually I am pretty good with whatever I decide to throw at my mouth, esophagus, or stomach, having once tackled ghost pepper chilli sauce and enjoying it with some regularity.

    With this in mind, I decided to order the spiciest sauce available on the menu to coat my chicken strips, “Cluckin’ Hot”, a concoction of fresh garlic, ginger, and Scotch Bonnet chillies, topped with jalapeno salsa, sliced red chillies, and chilli flakes in case you have not already regretted your life choice by ordering this.

    Included in my spread was a portion of “Bird Disco Fries”, skin-on fries topped with melted cheese, yet more jalapeno salsa, and the mysterious “Bird Sauce”, which I did not think to ask what it contained. A bowl of fried pickles (frickles) finished off my meal, and were incredibly lovely, especially as I struggle to find these delightful treats on menus nowadays.

    Okay, enough positivity and beating around the bush.

    The Cluckin’ Hot sauce was quite possibly a mistake. To give the lovely staff at Bird and Beer credit, it was a flavourful sauce which is something that often falls by the wayside when it comes to places devising their spiciest sauces, favouring pure heat over taste. 

    I am not sure if it is the combination of the hot sauce with the fresh chillies, or the hot sauce with the jalapeno salsa, or the fact I ordered spice on top of spice, but something about this meal absolutely demolished me, to the point I was turning red, coughing, and slamming my fist lightly on the table.

    It is hard for me to even pass a proper judgement on the quality of the chicken strips themselves because my mind has been so fixated on the absolute pain and suffering I inflicted upon myself with their spiciest sauce…

    …only to discover it is not the spiciest thing they offer, and, in fact, they offer a Challenge Sauce made from Carolina Reaper and Trinidad Scorpion peppers, complete with some stories about past contestants who attempted the challenge and rightfully regretted it. The staff said they did not have any in stock currently but if they did they would have offered me some to try.

    Not sure I would have taken it mind, considering that as I am writing this review some thirty minutes after consuming the devilish sauce I am still feeling the effects of it from my head spinning to my stomach very much not agreeing with my decision – time will tell how much I suffer later on.

    As mentioned, the staff were lovely though. The service was on time, the vibes were immaculate, and in terms of eating out in the modern day, this was a fairly cheap meal, coming in at £57 before the service charge, which included two mains, two sides, two drinks, a pot of blue cheese sauce to mitigate my terrible decision making, and a dessert for my partner.

    Which came in the form of a god damn deep fried Mars bar, a Scottish delight brought right to our doorstep.

    The little bit I tried of it was amazing, the batter was exceptionally light and the flavour of the chocolate and the caramel melted together in this unholy log of deep-fried goodness was amazing.

    I definitely will return, hopefully next time for something a little less painful and making it so I can enjoy the flavour of the chicken without re-evaluating every life choice I had made up until that point.

    Food reviews are always some of my favourite to do, especially when it comes to reviewing local joints that definitely deserve the love. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review, I hope the weekend stays cool for you and you are able to relax.

    For more information on Bird and Beer, visit their website here: Bird&Beer | Fried Chicken | Craft Beer | Shrewsbury

  • Redundancy Review: Day 64, “Survival, at any cost”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning Marios and Donkey Kongs, welcome to Day 64 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Ended up making a mentor figure in my life upset yesterday over the fact I had taken the contracting role, which, considering it is out in the open now, may as well explain it.

    So, what caused my redundancy was the entire company I worked at going under, leading to all of us losing our jobs. Then after a while a former colleague got in touch with me and asked if I wanted a contracting opportunity – the people who had bought the assets and IP needed a skeleton crew to push things over the finish line, and they needed a QA.

    Being upfront and honest, I was initially going to tell them to go fuck themselves, hence why I called Day 25 “The Call of Yesterday”. The investors & the board had done enough damage to my psyche throughout this whole process that I was fully willing to take a stand and hold on to my selfish pride…

    …that lasted about a weekend before I decided to sign on, thanks to some guidance from another person who had also signed on. I initially kept it quiet amongst the social group I was in with my former colleagues cause I did not want to upset anyone who was struggling, but the topic of conversation came up last night so I decided to mention it.

    She had pressed me for names of everyone else who was working there since I was an “insider” and I had refused, partially cause that was not my information to give. This made my mentor a bit upset, to the point she left the group which really made me feel like an ass, even if in hindsight it feels like a bit of an overreaction to leave on the knowledge of some people in the group still working for the old blood.

    Afterwards I had offered to leave myself to see if it would make others feel better, as I had outed myself as an “insider”, and knew that might still make people uncomfortable.

    I very quickly had four (now five) separate people sending different variations of “do not leave”, from a simple “nope” to reminding me of how my mentor can react in emotional situations, but there seemed to be a common theme amongst all of them.

    This contract is temporary, I know it will end at some point after the work is done and the board once more will have no use of me, discarding me back to the Jobcentre. 

    But in the meantime, I can survive.

    And regardless of how I felt going in, or how my actions have made others feel, ultimately I can not be blamed for making a decision in the interest of my own survival – even if it does clash with my tendencies of making sure no one is upset by what I do… yes I know that is oxymoronic with what I said yesterday about not being erased or silenced but stay with me.

    It feels difficult to have alienated this mentor figure in virtue of the fact she was one of the most supportive people in my life during my work under the previous company. She was always someone I could rely on to “unfuck my brain” and was one of the few people I could turn to when my hormones were close to making my mind collapse in on itself. 

    In general everyone I worked with was incredibly supportive and accepting of who I was, which is why the idea of making any of them frustrated, annoyed, or disappointed is a painful concept to me.

    Ultimately, I do not know where my career wants or needs to go next. Part of me wants to try turn my baking and pickling hobbies into something I can use as supplemental income, I am slowly writing the stories I want to tell whilst weaving my everyday story, and despite the fact I am out of love with the tech industry as a whole I am still good at what I do.

    For now though, I survive, in the hope of finding where I can thrive.

    I think it is time for some more emotional whiplash though, as we go from the fear of letting those close to you down to talking about, what else, pirate metal.

    Jonathan Young is one of my favourite musical artists, having initially discovered him through his covers of anime openings that so many Youtube musicians start out with, to witnessing his creative breakdown of 2017-2018, and then seeing him rise as an original songwriter creating beautiful pieces of music from scratch before following it up with his latest era of original songs based on nerdy properties.

    The song I am covering today comes from his debut album of fully original music, “Starship Velociraptor”, attributed to Galactikraken, which in his own words is “definitely a real band and NOT just Jonathan Young pretending to be several aliens from the future” – the song in question being the pirate metal entry of the album, “Glory or Gold”.

    From a personal enjoyment standpoint, I have a soft spot for anything pirate themed. One of my favourite Magic decks revolves around pirates, and I sometimes jokingly call myself a pirate captain due to the fact when my full preferred name is written out, I have had a friend call it a “fucking pirate queen” name, which totally did not go to my head as one of the most badass compliments I have ever received.

    The overall vibe of the song is, fittingly for pirate-themed metal, rebellion. From the opening verse to the bridge to the chorus and straight into the second verse, bridge, and chorus, every word in this song hammers home the fantasy of being a god damn space pirate fighting against the plutocracy – a feeling I think a lot of people can relate to in the modern day…

    …the fact I can not really decide whether that statement applies to “being a space pirate”, “fighting the wealthy”, or “fighting the wealthy as a space pirate” is rather amusing.

    One part of the lyrics I do want to highlight though is the bridge before both choruses, especially for the last line:

    “So hoist up the Jolly Roger

    We’re taking a ride

    Take back the life that they denied”

    Speaking as an artist, a trans person, and someone who went through a major life change a couple months back, I feel a lot of my personal progression going forward makes this line resonate with me a lot. 

    Regular readers will know the usage of the phrase “my life has been destroyed”, but when I think about my current role, the things I am trying to do, and where I want to go next, I am taking back what was denied from me: in making my art, in living my truth, in what was taken from me with my day job being yanked away.

    The instrumental on this song is insane as well, though I have to give special mention to the drumming. In line with the flavour of Galactikraken’s drummer being a four-armed alien the background drumming rhythm is layered and intense, especially intensifying in the last ten seconds of the song to finalise it in a perfect way.

    Which is insane in the greater context of the album, as this is the first song you will hear and it ends off with such a powerful beat, fully setting you up for the rest of the amazing songs on the album – which I do actually own as a signed CD by the man himself, one of my proudest musical possessions outside of my physical Dragonforce collection.

    Obligatory picture for the thumbnail, taken from the gorgeously animated music video…

    That is two back-to-back Redundancy Reviews I have done where emotional whiplash comes into play from using the mental check-in portion to talk about something heavy, and then do a full 180 degree pivot to talk about something way more positive. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed reading today. Once more, please remember to stay cool and hydrated wherever you are.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 63, “Let It All Out”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning sobbers and weepers, welcome to Day 63 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Last night I had a good long cry, lasting about three-quarters of an hour, and it was really needed. For some reason (possibly estrogen-related), my emotions flared up and I found myself wanting to cry over seemingly nothing, the main trigger point that finally set it all off being a Youtube short of a cute guinea pig wheeking loudly – animal videos tend to set my emotions off regardless, but very rarely do they make me want to cry.

    And I just… let it all out. First time in a long while that I have had a good cry, and even though I am paying for it this morning, it was something I needed.

    Part of the reason is definitely lingering anxiety around the convention I am going to soon. It has been almost six years since my last convention experience and I am feeling exceptionally nervous about both putting myself out there, cosplaying properly for the first time in a good few years, and trying to make friends/be social within a community I have been a quiet participant in for many years.

    Additionally, despite the fact I feel I am starting to heal from my redundancy, there is still some lingering trauma from everything that went down that seemed to be gnawing at the back of my mind during my emotional moment.

    I keep telling myself that I am still here, despite everything I have gone through and continue to go through, holding on to my continued existence as a reminder that I am extremely lucky in a very unkind world. My brother once told me that I “had the confidence to sail into the storm, and you have what it takes to make it out of it” – he specifically said that in reference to the fact I came out as trans, but it is something that sticks with me all the same.

    It is hard to exist as a trans person in today’s world full stop, but there is a certain pain that comes from being a trans person in the UK, especially when a supposedly left-wing government got voted in on the promise of “do not be as shit as the Tories” have specifically shat on me and people like me harder than they ever did.

    But I will make an effort to still be here, and still be myself.

    I will not be erased.

    I will not be silent.

    Death before detransition.

    I still have stories to tell, and even if it is taking a long-ass time to tell them, they will be told. Both for myself, and for whoever needs them.

    Feels kind of weird to pivot from such an absolute statement into the positivity of Hololive Tuesday, but… Happy Hololive Tuesday everyone! I am extremely excited for today’s review as it combines my love of VTubers and my love of card games as I review the Tokino Sora and AZKi Starter Deck for the Official Hololive Card Game English release.

    I bought two starter decks, one from TokyoToys in Glasgow when I visited, and another from The Gamers’ Emporium in Swansea on delivery, the latter of which was nice enough to send me a tournament promo pack as part of my order, thanks for that!

    I have laid out the majority of the contents on the included paper playmat, but to give a rundown, here is everything that is included in the box:

    • Two “oshi Holomem” cards in the form of Tokino Sora and AZKi
    • One 50-card preconstructed main deck
    • One 20-card preconstructed “cheer” deck, consisting of white and green cheers
    • 1 quick manual rules sheet
    • 1 paper playmat with marked zones for cards
    • 1 cardboard sheet containing a selection of damage counters and a “SP Oshi Skill” counter

    The box’s contents allow you to take everything out and play right away, with a surprisingly smooth first time play experience when following the included quick manual. 

    When my partner and I did a starting game both using the product we only had to clarify one rule using a Youtube video, after which the flow of the game became rather clear to us – though this comes with a small disclaimer that I have been playing card games regularly for around a decade now, meaning I can adapt to new games easier than most.

    For a brief explainer of how the game works:

    • You have your “oshi Holomem” who acts as the face of the deck, determining your health and carrying two special abilities: one you can use once each turn, and one that can be used once per game
    • You have a deck made up of “Debut”, “1st”, “2nd”, and “Spot” holomems along with support cards.
    • “Debut” holomems act like Basic Pokemon from the Pokemon TCG, being able to be placed directly on your “stage”, or bench to further borrow Pokemon terminology
    • Whilst on your bench, you can place down “1st” or “2nd” holomems to “bloom”/evolve your holomems into more powerful cards
    • “Cheers” act similarly to energy in Pokemon, being attached to your holomems as part of a “cheer phase” and being used to activate “Arts”/moves
    • You have a “center position” holomem who stays on the field until destroyed or swapped out, and a “collab position” holomem who stays on the field for a turn before returning to the bench to “rest”
    • The game ends when a player’s life is reduced to zero, when a player has no holomems on their stage, or if they cannot draw a card from their deck due to it being empty

    A lot of standard TCG rules and terminology, but given a Hololive flavour. I often describe it as Magic: the Gathering Commander format crossed over with Pokemon, which is possibly why I enjoyed it so much. The game definitely takes some amount of time to play through one round, which is why the current official tournament format is only Best-of-1.

    The card quality is fantastic, feeling solidly constructed especially compared to how modern Magic cards currently feel, with the included oshi holomem cards having texture applied to their foils, a common technique in most card games but a very pleasant inclusion for a starter product.

    I also have to admit that whilst I own significantly superior playmats that I will likely be using in future; I definitely have a soft spot for the included paper playmat. It reminds me too much of the old paper playmat you would get in old Yu-Gi-Oh starter products and tickles a nostalgic part of my brain in a weird way.

    As mentioned, the quick manual was actually rather intuitive for doing a first game, my only issue coming in the form of the explanation of the cheer phase. In the manual it reads:

    “Turn the top card of the cheer deck face up, and send it to your holomem on stage.”

    This reads pretty simply, but it caused the issue for myself and my partner to only initially send cheers to our centre position holomem until we looked up a video to check another rule where the person’s explanation of the cheer phase made it clear a cheer can be set to any holomem on stage, front position or back position. 

    A very minor gripe that might not affect a majority of players, but I would prefer the wording to be something like:

    “Turn the top card of the cheer deck face up, and send it to any holomem on stage (front position or back position)”

    For a little bit of easier reading.

    However, I find myself already in love and simultaneously anticipating & dreading when the next couple of sets are localised, knowing full well I have yet another card game I am going to become obsessed with.

    Well, considering that the next in-universe Magic: the Gathering set isn’t until 2026 now, maybe that is not such a bad thing.

    The starter deck was well worth the money in both instances, and if my brief review has made you interested in playing it, I definitely recommend picking it up.

    Three pages and 1000+ words, oh yeah, I am thinking I might be back! Thank you for reading today’s card game edition of the Redundancy Review, please continue to stay cool and hydrated wherever you are along with not letting the world get you down too much.

    For more information on the Official Hololive Card Game, visit the website here: hololive OFFICIAL CARD GAME｜hololive production

  • Redundancy Review: Day 59, 60, 61, & 62: “Missing Milestones Due to an Impromptu Break”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning truants and delinquents, welcome to… a fuck ton of days missed cause I felt like I should take a break, this covers Friday 8th August to Monday 11th August essentially.

    Why did I take a break? Well, I was trying to write something a bit more meaningful on Friday after having done a placeholder day on Thursday and… I just could not, no matter what kind of topic I wanted to tackle I could not find my rhythm, flow, or prose, tossing ideas into the void and feeling frustrated at what I was producing.

    So rather than forcing it, I decided on an impromptu break. Going into my weekend with the goal of enjoying myself and not thinking about writing which I definitely feel I needed.

    It might be that I had been getting burnt out with the idea of writing this series each day, even though I had a topic I could have written about on Friday by the time the evening rolled around, my focus was just not in it.

    Taking a break was good, and finding some time to relax helped a lot in not feeling as stressed… and then I found the window in our bedroom had cracked leading to an awkward moment of texting the landlords to try get that sorted but outside of that the weekend was great.

    I also finally got my first pay from my contracting role, that let me build my savings nest egg further, contribute a meaningful amount to the bills account once more, and treat myself to a few small things. Additionally I have been planning the last bits of my cosplay for my convention in less than a month’s time, so, hopefully that all comes together.

    It does feel a little bad I missed two milestones due to taking my break, missing both the sixty day mark and going past the two month milestone of being made redundant. It… feels weird to think of such a life changing event feeling simultaneously recent but also having a specific time behind it.

    Anyway, I want to post something today, and even if my review topic is another loose one, I want to share something I did that made me happy.

    I had never made a cake from scratch in my life until last week, with a friend of mine helping me out with this recipe:

    Easy caramel cake recipe | Good Food

    Even with my friend helping me out with each step, the recipe is incredibly easy to follow and made a delicious cake. Plus decorating the top with chocolate pieces in the shape of a rabbit made it look really cute as a caramel bunny cake.

    Initially I did want to do more for missing so many days, but, I guess my heart is still not as in it as I want it to be. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review all the same, please stay hydrated and cool in this weather.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 58, “Another Placeholder Day”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning lorems and ipsums, welcome to Day 58 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    It has been another day where my writing headspace was hard to find, so I write this at a little past nine in the evening here to primarily fill space and get a review out there – I promise the weekend should be more productive as my brain settles down from some of the changes I have been forcing it through.

    Today’s review builds on yesterday’s review, as it was not just the disappointing jalapeno bites I ordered from Papa John’s:

    (only just remembered this as I was getting the article ready: look at this stupid ass cut pattern they did as well, I have got six total slices, two of which are massive)

    My order did, in fact, actually include a pizza. Shocker, I know, to order a pizza from a pizza place, but it is a weird quirk I have when it comes to such places in that I tend to judge them not on their pizzas, but on their sides, hence my immense disappointment at my side of choice yesterday. 

    Any pizza place can deliver pizza, but it takes a special pizza place to make non-pizza things work too, take a shot every time I have said pizza thus far to get really wasted.

    It was a simple pizza, chicken, ham, and pepperoni, one of the most basic combos you could get. Whilst my experience with the jalapeno bites was disappointing, my experience with the pizza was… just fine I suppose?

    There is no such thing as bad pizza, it is almost an impossibility to have pizza be bad, but my pizza yesterday was exceedingly middle of the road, especially when compared to what I am able to get locally that scratches both the greasy itch and the higher-quality itch. Papa John’s was just… fine. Nothing special. It served as a perfectly passable pizza.

    But that further dispels the feeling of positive nostalgia I had towards them, in my side of choice being disappointing and the main event being nothing special either. In a way it helps me feel less bad about not being able to order it easily where I live currently, but it also brings me down a little as my companionship pizza place of choice has let me down…

    …that said I did buy like four pots of special garlic sauce as part of the order and have not had any yet. That shit tasted like liquid gold back in the day so I am curious to see how well that holds up.

    Thank you for reading this truncated and somewhat rushed Redundancy Review. Normal service should return upon a relaxing weekend full of things to review.