Rosalia Rambles

Tag: art

  • Redundancy Review: Day 334-336, “Mission Statement”

    Redundancy Review: Day 334-336, “Mission Statement”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning C-Suites and executives, welcome to Day 334-336 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Going to be another career focused ramble today, though one that hopefully ends off with a more positive message around my own work than anything else. 

    It feels easy to create career-focused articles right now because of how much is going on in my head surrounding my current career. Whilst there is a prevailing desire to leave behind startup culture with a greater motive of leaving the tech industry entirely, I cannot deny that the prospect of transitioning away from a five year career feels somewhat daunting – especially when that entire time has been spent within the corporate yoke.

    The problem in my mind is that I am far too good at existing in a system that I do not want to be a part of. This especially hits home when I reflect upon my own self and how people such as myself often struggle to meld within these spaces whilst maintaining the expectations of others.

    Or to drop the formal business speak: how the fuck has my trans and neurodivergent arse survived in this world for so long?

    In all honesty, the answer is most definitely privilege, in that my career thus far has been surrounded by people who either understood where I was coming from – my line manager’s last message to me at Codemasters was “I hope you become the person you want to be” – or had a natural curiosity about my situation and wanted to learn more from the source rather than making assumptions based on whatever the media is saying.

    Side note, if on the off chance you are somehow reading this: I am definitely the person I want to be Pete, and I hope the crazy world of EA has not swept you up too hard like it has done to so many of my other colleagues.

    People understood that my brain was likely going to cannibalise itself every so often, and when I brought up my concerns to the people responsible for managing me the response was usually:

    “Wow, that sucks. You’re still doing good work though so try not to stress too much.”

    Which does track. I will have moments where everything sucks and my mind is eating itself alive, but I still try to deliver. I guess allowing myself to have schedule slippages on the Redundancy Review now is a sign that I am being a bit kinder in terms of how I treat my work…

    …not a massive fan of the wording there, which is strange to say cause I wrote it, but I am not “allowing myself” to have breaks. The Redundancy Review is a reflection of who I am as a person, breaks in the schedule of the so-called “daily series” reflect how I am feeling in the current situation I find myself in, having lost two jobs within the span of a year.

    This leads nicely into what the title is about. One of the main things you come across when applying to corporate jobs is when you start doing your research on the company you want to join, which invariably leads you to a “mission statement” or “core values” page.

    Borrowed from my old haunt of EA

    They usually are one word titles followed by a brief summation of what it means to the company, and it is one of the easiest wins you can find in a job application or interview by being able to quote a company’s values back at them as it shows you took the time to learn about the foundation of the company.

    Considering I want to work on this site as a proper artist in the wake of this latest layoff, whilst simultaneously showing that even though I have made a public declaration to leave the industry, I still have the wherewithal to reinsert myself back into the corporate if needed: I am going to write a mission statement for Rosalia Rambles today.

    Rosalia Rambles is the personal brainchild of one Rosalia Butler, an introverted and slightly neurotic writer from the UK. Her headline series is the “Redundancy Review”, an (almost) daily series which covers her adventures navigating joblessness whilst also providing an outlet for her to gush about nerdy things. In addition to this, she is a passionate fiction writer with the ability to adapt to any genre and an underlying talent to try to make any piece of fiction trans allegory. 

    Going forward, she wishes to adopt the following values into her work:

    Humanity – The focus of the Redundancy Review is the human behind the screen. This means there will be no Generative Artificial Intelligence content hosted on this website, as to do so would be to sacrifice the integrity of the site as a whole. 

    Expression – Art is a reflection of the soul. Whilst there will be nuances in how certain topics are presented to maintain professionalism, ultimately this site is meant to be an expression of my true self. This means a decent amount of swearing, an unabashed joy in how I present myself as a trans woman, and very few filtered thoughts unless the situation calls for calm.

    Messiness – Humans are messy creatures, and any articles or stories will reflect that messiness by presenting an unfiltered view into the soul of an artist. I will make mistakes, I will not filter feelings, and I certainly will forget to correctly place images in the future. Mistakes are what remind us we are human: we make them, we fix them, we learn from them.

    Kindness – To borrow the guiding principle from my mentor: “Everyone shits. And how we deal with that is how we move forward as people.” I shit, the people behind topics I review shit, everyone shits. What matters is how we navigate the fact that everyone shits, with the overriding value of kindness above all else.

    Legacy – “Life isn’t just about passing on your genes. We can leave behind much more than just DNA. Through speech, music, literature and movies… what we’ve seen, heard, felt… anger, joy and sorrow… these are the things I will pass on. That’s what I live for. We need to pass the torch, and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light. We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with.” 

    …yeah that last is ripped verbatim from the ending of Metal Gear Solid 2, but considering I am a card-carrying member of the Cult of Kojima, I have no shame in applying some of his fantastic writing skills to my own work.

    In a sillier world I would add “VTubers” as a core value, but that is what we have VTuesday for.

    Raora Panthera falls into the same category as Nerissa Ravencroft to me, in that a new generation of Hololive talent debuts and there will be one or two members I am instinctively drawn to, but the remaining members end up standing out to me in their own ways.

    Specifically, what drew me in with Raora was twofold:

    • Her amazing Youtube shorts that either played around with her lore as a member of Justice, or just her explaining how to make various Italian dishes
    • Her streams of Monster Hunter World, which became frequent background noise during my work hours whenever she streamed it

    The latter in particular was very good at making me a fan, as I gelled with her personality very easily and I became familiar with her more nerdy side over time.

    Today’s review is about her second original song, “Draw.”, and I think it is a good example of being able to engage with art even if you do not fully understand it.

    Case in point, this song is in majority Japanese with no English subtitles available, and only a few English lyrics to go off to try to discern the meaning.

    Despite that, I consider this a beautiful piece of art about the nature of creation, and how art that comes from the soul is made with the purest colours.

    “All the pieces I picked up
    Unraveled within my own chest
    “It’s okay,” I whisper softly
    Saying it back to myself”

    To me, this English verse refers to the nature of an artist drawing inspiration from the world around them and using their heart and instinct to make sense of it all, reassuring yourself that art created from your own external stimuli is valid, especially if you use it to help you process the things you see.

    “All the colors I held back
    Start to gather in the hush
    “It’s all right,” the first light tells me
    Sending warmth into my heart”

    This verse refers to the artistic side struggling to express itself in the way it wants to. Colours in art can mean multiple different things, and can bring about many different interpretations, and it is good to let those colours out as an expression of yourself, letting whatever artistic muses you may have influence what you put down on your medium of choice.

    The main English verse though is what made this song speak to me:

    “Draw it slow, draw it true.”

    Art is an inherently slow process. It can take months, sometimes years, even decades for a work to reach its true completion, what matters is that the end result is true to the mind behind the work. Speed does not matter when creating works of art that reflect the nature of the soul, the key factor is that the end result rings true to the soul of the artist.

    “The effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility even in death”

    Monty Oum

    Outside of the lyrics, the music video itself is gorgeous, reflecting what it means to be an artist with delightful visual references to programs, tools, and silly little doodles present throughout as well.

    I love the medium of VTubing, especially as VTubers from across the spectrum of corporate to indie all put in immense effort to their creative contributions to the world. I often use the phrase “digital puppetry” to describe VTubers to people who might not be familiar with the topic, but the medium itself goes far beyond such simplistic terms, as every VTuber is an artist in their own right, no matter what area of expertise they specialise in.

    A perfect blend of corporate speak and talking about the nature of being an artist, all the while affirming what I consider to be the “mission statement” of the Redundancy Review – this might be one of my best works yet.

    Thank you for reading today’s edition. Wherever you are, I hope the week is treating you well so far. The world continues to turn even if our bodies are catching up to that fact, and whatever we do this week, we can smash it.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 135, “Staying Sharp”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning swordsmen and pikemen, welcome to Day 135 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Starting this one pretty late in the evening compared to how I normally get these done, had basically no chance to breathe during work today followed by a lunch where I was purely focused on recovery, before finishing up for the day and deciding that I wanted to focus primarily on eating for the night alongside playing some Clair Obscur: Expedition 33.

    Absolutely fantastic game by the way, I am just over four hours into the game currently and I am having the time of my life. I think it might end up being too big to do a proper Redundancy Review on, but I definitely want to talk about it at some stage. The themes of the story, the writing, and especially the music are all top-notch with so much to say about all of it.

    But for now, I want to write. 

    I have talked at length over the last couple of weeks about what the “purpose” of the Redundancy Review is. Documenting change, giving myself the opportunity to look back on where I was, and to clear my head from a busy day – though there is one painfully obvious purpose I have yet to talk about.

    It keeps my brain sharp, and my writing skills in use almost every day, which I can see the results of in my everyday life… for the most part.

    When friends or my partner ask for writing assistance, it usually comes quickly to me, be it for a quick naming suggestion, help in jazzing up some paragraphs for a job application, or even for the rare commission. 

    However, the fun part comes when I am asked to write any form of professional email at work. Deep down I know what I need to write and how to handle myself in any work correspondence, having done the task for almost two years after my mentor let me get hands on with production work.

    But there is something that comes with doing that task that causes me to freeze up and overthink about what I need to write, performing several rewrites and word changes to make sure I am not coming off overly harsh, too friendly, or somehow sounding like I do not know what I am doing.

    This has reminded me of two pieces of advice that both my mentor and the producer I worked incredibly closely with have given me. The former comes in regards to me talking to her about my overthinking once:

    “Yes, I know you are an overthinker. That is why I do not give you the chance to think and give you so much to do so you focus on that instead.”

    Harsh? Yes… but she has a point. If I am given enough to work on, and the work is sufficiently stimulating to my brain, I find myself getting into a rhythm before long which seriously helps quiet my brain.

    The second piece of advice came as the producer and I talked about me going overly formal on client calls, making me wonder about the nature of professionalism:

    “Professionalism is delivering your points clearly and not saying fuck.”

    That one in particular has stuck with me, and it has actually helped inform how I handle professional interactions, letting myself sound more natural in how I explain things. I still go a little robotic from time to time, but my delivery has relaxed immensely.

    In a way it is funny, I always worried about my professionalism when it came to delivering my work output, which itself is delivered on calls where a large portion of my plushie collection is on show for my colleagues to look at.

    I do use virtual backgrounds when talking to external clients, as much as I feel like it would be a conversation starter.

    For now though, I keep myself sharp through writing these reviews… which I should probably try write a review segment for today…

    …yeah, let us have a “VThursday” as a complement to VTuesday, even though the name does not roll off the tongue the same way.

    This was something I actually ordered back right before I lost my job, a canvas panel from the “holoAnimArt” series, a collection of original art depicting Hololive members as the animals that they adopt features from for their VTuber model. Being a massive Shirakami Fubuki fan, as I have talked about before on the Redundancy Review, it was a no-brainer to pick up.

    I am surprisingly blown away by the quality of both the included print and the wooden easel it comes with for display purposes. The canvas itself has a loop in the back if I wanted to mount it on a wall instead but I really like the presentation of the easel, gives it a more rustic feeling that matches with the more realistic depiction of the Hololive member as an animal.

    The only gripe I have with it, and this is most definitely a “first world VTuber fan” problem, is that because of the size of the easel and the canvas it does not fit well onto my pre-existing, yet admittedly overflowing, Fubuki shrine, so I either have to display it on its lonesome or commit to doing a full rearrangement of my displays in order to build a better Fubuki shrine.

    You know, if that is one of the biggest problems facing me right now, then my life really is not that bad, for all the overthinking my brain likes to inflict upon me.

    But that will do it for today, thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review, my every day writing practice. Wherever you are I hope you are able to relax, it is Friday tomorrow, and the weekend is beckoning us ever closer.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 91, “Post-Con Depression”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning axolotls and mudpuppies, welcome to Day 91 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    With my writeup done yesterday and now fully situated back at home… yeah, the post-con depression is starting to creep in. VExpo was possibly the full highlight of my year despite all of the complications leading up to it in regards to cosplay and some of the organisational slip ups the convention itself had, and now to be back to normality is… kind of rough feeling.

    A lot of people read my writeup yesterday too, which is really sweet to see. I want to try use that positive energy VExpo gave me to keep trying to improve myself, because now I have truly had a taste of life on the outside again and god fucking damnit if I do not want more experiences like that.

    Which y’know, is kind of the right energy to take away from something like this, and part of my logic is that I am pretty much exhausted every weekend anyway, so why not just be exhausted at a convention? Especially with the fact I want to turn the red dress I wore on the Saturday of VExpo into carrying even more plushies to make it almost like an ita dress but full of plushies instead.

    Helps to keep track of them too, since they are pretty much always facing front I do not have to worry too much about someone coming up to try swipe one – though I should probably invest in a decent carry bag anyway if I want to carry any larger ones around on show.

    The next potential event I could go to is London or Birmingham MCM, my usual old convention haunts from the before times (meaning pre-COVID), with London being near the end of October, and Birmingham being at the end of November. Both of them are pretty tempting options even though I do not really gel with the structure of MCM-style conventions in the UK, though, there is still one prevailing issue…

    Funds.

    Whilst I am currently in relatively stable work, I know at any moment I could be back to being in the shit once more and that makes me a little risk averse when it comes to making big ventures out, especially to events that I do not feel 100% on.

    It is also a balancing act, cause I would love to go to more events, but I also want to go to those events in cosplay, and support artists, and treat them like holidays, but doing all of those things on top of event and travel expenses make the margins tight, especially in my current position.

    So what does this mean?

    Need to work harder obviously.

    Falling into complacency was something I did a lot prior to my redundancy, of accepting my status quo and struggling to change. For the sake of my future security and to get the ability to go to more events, I cannot allow myself to fall back into that.

    And if you agree with that you should consider hiring me for some writing work!

    (god that was cheesy as fuck)

    But genuinely, I am proving myself with writing every day. My VExpo writeup was near 7000 words done in approximately four hours with images, social media linking, and detailed back research on social channels to make sure all my information was correct.

    I want to write.

    I want to earn my way through writing.

    And I want to write my story across multiple events for the foreseeable future, or until my body finally gives up the ghost.

    With that call to action done, time to head into the review segment, and well… it feels kind of weird to do a Hololive Tuesday right after doing a giant convention write up, but I think this will be a good opportunity to highlight some of the artists I bought from over the weekend, starting with Mercury Designs with this gorgeous Nerissa Ravencraft acrylic standee.

    For brief VTuber context, Nerissa Ravencroft is a part of Hololive English Generation 3 “Advent”, which is my all time favourite group of virtual people – and being honest, initially I was not all that interested in Nerissa as a talent, especially when looking at the other members of Advent.

    But over time, her streams and actions slowly started carving a place in my heart for her, to the point now where I have considered cosplaying both of her outfits at one point in time, partially because it is a character where my actual height would lend to it extremely well.

    Anyway, back on track with the art.

    When I was browsing the VExpo art catalogue they posted, Mercury Designs was one that caught my eye, though it was actually for a Cecilia Immergreen standee than anything else, and during one of my artist alley walks I remember seeing it and having something click in my brain like “Oh yeah I was supposed to check these guys out”.

    And whilst the Cecilia caught my eye once more, something about the composition of the Nerissa standee just looks so elegant, with the back piece of acrylic giving it an almost magical look to it. For £25 as well it is a solid price to support a small artist, and this is not including the fact I walked away with two A5 prints and a bunch of stickers from them too.

    A shorter review than yesterday, but, I do not think anything will top yesterday for a long while. Thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review, wherever you are I hope you are able to take things easy today. I am going to continue letting my legs recover from VExpo.

    For more information on Mercury Designs and to purchase from their shop, visit the link here: Mercury Designs UK – Shop