Rosalia Rambles

Tag: love

  • Redundancy Review: Day 457, “The common topic of sleep”

    Redundancy Review: Day 457, “The common topic of sleep”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning insomniacs and narcoleptics, welcome to Day 457 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    I am rapidly running out of words relating to sleep to open things up with, which is not surprising considering I have written around ten reviews where the topic of sleep, either too much or too little, is brought up as the main body of the article that day.

    Today is in the latter category of “too little”, as I was up till around two in the morning stuck in a thinking pattern, alternating between having my brain slow down in the hopes of finally giving me the blessed sleep I crave before suddenly thrusting anxiety into the forefront of my mind once more giving me about ten minutes of feeling on edge with rapid thoughts running through my mind before it calms down again.

    Usually in those moments would be the moment I reach for a CBD gummy to help quiet the mind and allowing myself to sleep, but I have been holding back from taking them recently for a handful of reasons:

    • I am halfway down my last jar and really do not have the funds to restock myself at this current moment in time
    • I had a bad experience with one a couple weeks back and have been hesitant ever since
    • And I want my system able to receive the blessed relaxation as best as possible for Vexpo sleep next week because I will certainly need it

    Thankfully the day is not too stacked for me, though I do have some more job applications at the local council I need to work on before my time away. Local government has been the main focus of my applications since being laid off three months ago, primarily in pursuit of acquiring better benefits – especially a more robust pension benefit because whilst I do not fully believe I will be able to retire for one reason or another, it would be nice to actually care about my future rather than be dismissive.

    I definitely have some amount of savings in my pension, although it is simultaneously nowhere near what the guidance says it should be for my age and also looking damn fine if I start to run low on funds if this job search gets more protracted than I would like it to be.

    Plus there is the fact that writers never usually fully retire from work, as our bodies fail keeping our minds sharp is more important than ever, meaning we will be working on our own things even long past the age of any physically or mentally demanding work, though it would still be nice to fund being an aging writer considering that making a living off writing is still as hard as ever.

    Admittedly it has been nice to start writing again, even though I know for a fact Vexpo is going to completely derail any notion of a schedule as I will be out of action from the 17th to at least the 22nd due to how much I have in my itinerary and that I will be writing the sequel last year’s Vexpo post as quickly as I can once my energy returns to me.

    For now though, it has been nice to get back in the groove, and remind myself of why I enjoy writing so much. It came back naturally to me, and even on today when I feel as if I am struggling to write, it feels good to get my thoughts down and make everything feel less heavy if only for a wonderful, fleeting moment before my reality kicks me back down.

    I love writing. There is nothing that would make me happier than getting to do this every day, and who knows? Maybe I will make it there someday.

    Until that point, I will keep rambling about all the things that make me happy, which today includes showing off one of my proudest gaming achievements to date: my collection of endemic life in Monster Hunter World.

    Due to a friend wanting to go through World on their PS5 and myself having a PS4 Pro with a physical copy of the game, we have arranged a regular game night to play through things together. Even as the franchise marches on towards Ascendance, I think there is great value to be found in the fifth generation entries of World plus Iceborne and Rise plus Sunbreak, especially on sale for stupidly low prices given how much content is packed into each game.

    Returning to World felt satisfying as all hell, and whilst there are several gameplay decisions I find myself questioning both on their own and when comparing it to the quality-of-life packed Wilds, I still consider it a nine-out-of-ten experience that any newer Monster Hunter fans should experience at least once.

    Not least because the endemic life collection system and the way you are able to display said endemic life might be one of my favourite side activities in the entire franchise.

    Once you progress into Master Rank in the Iceborne expansion and unlock the new hub area of Seliana, you also unlock a personal room area that can be decorated with ludicrous amounts of microtransaction DLCs to make it fit your taste, but more importantly it features several areas to place any captured endemic life, including both a fish pond and an aquarium.

    Particular creatures of note in my aquarium include two Petricanths, extremely rare endemic life styled after ancient coelacanths, and the Sealord’s Crestfish, an even rarer endemic life that took me so many soft resets during expeditions to find but was one of my proudest achievements once I did… oh how little did I know how hard some of the others were going to be.

    When you enter the room from the main hub area, you start on this upper balcony area that can contain endemic life both on the bannister itself and on the floor. My floor is filled with Moonlight Geckos, not particularly rare creatures compared to what else you can see in the room, but still pretty hard to find. The guest on my bannister is the far more interesting exhibit though, a gorgeous bird called the Blue Diva, an endemic life I did not even search out for and found purely by chance when on a hunt one day. Whilst I would love to find more to fill out the bannister, I think there are more pressing matters for me rather than grinding it out for multiple rare creatures.

    Especially when you take into account I have six out of seven Molys from the endgame Guiding Lands area – or as I prefer to call it, the Grinding Lands because this area is so shittily designed in terms of how you have to progress each zone for mining, monsters, and the rare endemic life of Molys and there is very little that can change my mind on this being the absolute worst way to build an endgame I have seen in any of the Monster Hunter titles I have played.

    Ahem.

    Still, the majority of the Molys is not bad at all.

    In front of my fireplace is a small family of Arrowhead Gecko, another rare creature but one with a guaranteed chance of dropping in one of the early Master Rank event quests, so I took the opportunity to grab a many as possible.

    One creature that took an absurd amount of grinding on my part is the Tsuchinoko. This illusive snake only spawns in Kulve Taroth raids near to the cannons or on the slide to area two, or in the little corridor before the optional quest of the final boss of Iceborne which is where I found it. A little fat bastard wiggling along my floor is a worthy addition to my collection.

    And finally, we come to the fish pond outside alongside the hot spring. The latter holds the singular Goldspring Macaque I have been able to find, and again whilst I would love to fill an entire spring of these, that sort of grinding is not in my cards. The former holds my pride and joy, but not for what is in the pond… although there is a second Sealord’s Crestfish in the pond as well which was so cool to find after grinding out the first one.

    Flying high above the fish pond is the Wintermoon Nettle, a rare creature that can only spawn at night in the Hoarfrost Reach locale and requires full on scaling the mountain in order to have a chance at capturing it. It may not even appear, and whilst it is possible to catch a glimpse of it from the ground I often found it quicker to run up the mountain to try find it, not wanting it to turn to day and have it despawn after taking the effort to get up there.

    This thing is massive, and floats around in the sky so elegantly. I remember when I first saw it after scaling the mountain for the god-knows-how-many’th time and knowing my quest to find the rarest forms of endemic life were at the end.

    World holds a special place in my heart for many of its mechanics, but currently no game in the franchise does creature collecting better than this one.

    Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are sleeping well. Losing sleep is never fun, and I hope to sleep better tonight myself.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 456, “I do not like social media”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning posters and creators, welcome to Day 456 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Considering I am posting this article online, which I will then share to my friends over Discord and then post a link on my Bluesky account for the world to see, the title may seem a little weird. Admittedly, even though a lot of what I want to discuss has probably been said by people smarter than me, in more eloquent ways, I still want to write down my thoughts.

    Social media seems like a necessary evil in the modern world. You want to stay in touch with friends or follow like-minded people for your hobbies or interests, but wanting to do that comes at the risk of seeing the dregs of the internet appears to speak down on whatever you enjoy whilst being exposed to a non-stop stream of every single horror that exists in the modern world because a handful of old men refuse to give up their power or wealth.

    Personally, I am someone who has an unhealthy relationship with Twitter. I like being able to passively engage in the hobbies I have and seeing the interactions between the people I choose to follow, but in return I end up finding myself doomscrolling long past the point of being engaged and all it does is ruin my mood when I am already in an impaired mental state.

    The answer seems easy: deactivate my account like so many people I looked up to have done so before, but as someone who has had to battle various addictions before I know going cold turkey is not exactly the right option, plus for all its faults I do enjoy seeing both my interests and random fun things when the algorithm decides to bless me rather than curse me.

    I recognise this is hypocritical, though I feel I am not alone in thinking this way. To be a writer in the modern age requires the use of social media, and if you are wanting to make this your profession you have to use it to an extensive degree for the required amount of networking in order to land reliable gigs. I will not even lie and say I do not feel anything when I see my view numbers go up or I get engagement on Bluesky, because that dopamine hits like hell whenever I know people are reading what I have to say.

    This is not to mention that my current line of work – self-reflection blogs – requires a certain amount of conceit and vanity in order to make it work. I literally write about my day-to-day life whilst trying to put a positive spin on it all whilst behind the screen I feel like my life, the world, and everything in between is falling apart. For all the complaining I will do about social media feeling fake, manicured, or astroturfed I am equally as guilty for presenting a positive vertical slice when I spent this morning breaking down into tears for almost an hour because I realise I hate the person I am becoming because of the many blows I have taken in recent months.

    At the very least, I hope what I present comes off as more “genuine” than other influencers who might talk about similar things, and I am most definitely not under any illusion to call myself such a ridiculous title. I do not even feel comfortable enough to call myself a “reviewer” despite the title of my headline series being “Redundancy Review”, because whilst I can think critically and formulate my words into critique, I really do not think anyone should take my opinions too seriously outside of “hmm, that is an interesting take”.

    Part of my dislike does definitely come from lack of knowledge as well. Whenever I am putting together a Bluesky post for anything I have posted here I feel as if I am doing it all wrong. I write out a short, but hopefully entertaining, blurb on what the article is about, say what day I am on, and then add my least favourite part of any post: hashtags.

    At the very least, I appreciate that Bluesky has dedicated feeds for writing that my work can be pushed to when I use the tags “#WritingCommunity” and “#Writing”. After that, I usually add the tags “#WordPress” and “#WP” to try push what platform I am using… for better or worse, considering I have a lot of issues with WordPress as a whole but right now the sunk cost fallacy is what keeps me here for the time being.

    After that though is where the real struggles start, as I will usually put in two additional tags related to what I have written about that day. For example yesterday was “#Hololive” and “#HololiveEnglish” to push myself to any feeds that might be about Hololive related news.

    But then I never know when to add more tags, both for respecting character limits and because I do not want to overwhelm my post with SEO-ese to try to get as many hits as possible from as many feeds as possible.

    When it comes to learning new things, I try to do as much as possible by myself and attempt to feel things out before I resort to written guides, but there is little desire to work towards or style myself as a “social media expert”, especially when I try to keep my presence minimal for my own sanity… which is a shame, cause a lot of professional writing roles are very social media focused, and I feel I could adapt myself to those roles for the right price, but I think my wheelhouse for writing roles is admittedly smaller than I would like.

    This is not even to mention my intense resentment of LinkedIn as a platform. It says something when one of my career goals, outside of writing for a living, outside of having a nice steady role I can develop in, and outside of not fearing layoffs every year at a certain point, is solely getting the ability to abandon or outright deactivate my LinkedIn account because I see very little value in having a presence on that platform and absolutely despise the level of performative I would need to be in anything I post there.

    Of course I could make my personal brand on LinkedIn of not being like everyone else on there, but again that falls into the trap of any amount of social media presence requiring some amount of conceit to dare to be “different”, or to think any perspective I have is truly unique.

    But even if my experience is the same as thousands if not tens of thousands of people, there is still value in me writing my experience out, both to record how I am feeling and in the hopes that if it helps even one person feel better, I have done something right.

    I will probably never fully extricate myself from social media, especially if I want to keep sharing my writing, though I can definitely hope for a healthier relationship in future… I still probably will not upload any of my work to Twitter, existing on that site as a trans person of even the slightest visibility feels like it would destroy my psyche beyond repair.

    One of the main challenges that has been facing me during my long writing hiatus is a struggle to engage in any of my usual hobbies besides mindlessly playing Umamusume because it requires little brain power and gives me the required dopamine to stop my brain shutting off. This does mean I have a lack of topics to talk about for Warhammer Wednesday as I have not been building models, or basing models, or doing anything at all related to building things.

    In general it has been hard to stay on track with what I wanted to do with Warhammer this year because of the blows I have taken. Back in March when I was making progress on the daily and making preparations to start painting, I felt positive about the upcoming 11th edition and was considering getting in on the ground floor with the starter set before finding out what local play groups are in my area to start meeting new people. 

    Working on getting my army into a battle-ready state would still be the goal, as I feel going out to meet new people could help me out of this current rut, but there is a lot of myself I need to work on before I feel I could be ready to do that.

    For now, I will just share a progress picture of where I am at with my main T’au force. Plenty of infantry with both Fire Warriors and Pathfinders, a small amount of heavier infantry with Crisis Suits (with plenty in my pile of shame to be built), and two choices of leader in the form of Commander Farsight or my commander in Coldstar armour, not to mention plenty of drones for tactical flexibility.

    There is also an Ethereal that came from a cheap box I managed to find on Vinted pre-layoff which does not entirely fit in with a Farsight Enclaves theme army. There is a part of me that wants to use a craft knife to cut off the head and replace it with a Fire Warrior helmet to make a “rogue Ethereal” kitbash model, one who abandoned the main empire to join the Enclaves, but is required to wear the helmet to show their loyalty to their new side.

    Things still feel hard for me, but each day I wake up I have a chance to improve things. And even if I need to cry out a lot of my negative feelings, then I will do that in the hopes of letting myself heal from all the things that bring me down right now.

    Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are able to stay positive in the face of adversity. The world sucks right now, but we are still here. 

  • Redundancy Review: Day 429-454, “Longer than I expected”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning timekeepers and watchmakers, welcome to Day 429 to 454 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    As I have said many times in the past: it has been a while. Constantly getting trapped in my own head, trying to navigate what seems like an impossible job market, and wondering whether or not the things I have to write down are worth it at all.

    Usually when I come back to the Redundancy Review it means I have something I want to get out there and writing is the only way I feel I can comfortably convey it, or at the very least, I want to be able to wield my emotions for good rather than letting them bottle up into an almighty crash out at the expense of myself, others, or myself and others.

    The Redundancy Review has gone on longer than I expected it would. What started as a way to practice writing daily whilst chronicling my job search became a way to monitor my own feelings as I returned to work after my initial redundancy, tracing the highs, the lows, and every single rapid inversion of my own mental state in near real time for a good part of 2025… less so in 2026, which you know, could count as its own reflection of 2026 because whilst this year has held plenty of positives, there has been so many negatives as well – on both a personal level and a “I cannot control this shit but it still makes me depressed” level.

    Additionally, this current period of unemployment has gone on longer than I initially expected, currently cresting above the three month mark, although with the state of the job market it is a superposition of:

    • A long period of time for someone who has been able to get interviews but has not had any success yet
    • Not that long at all considering some people will spend an average of six months searching with some searches going into the year plus mark if they even get lucky after that

    The fact I am able to get interviews, especially for roles that are outside of my current wheelhouse, helps reassure me that I am capable of working still, and the most common bit of feedback I receive being that I come off well with an eagerness to learn, but someone else has more experience in the specific area I was interviewing for and would make a better fit… which usually means an internal candidate but there is only so much bitterness I can hold over that before it would outright consume my soul.

    What has gone on far longer than I could have ever expected though?

    Me.

    There is some solace I take in looking back at how I was in previous years, and whilst I clearly see the loss of potential there was in my past, I feel a certain comfort in seeing my past self talk about how long she anticipates to be in a point in her life, with the result usually being that the road keeps on stretching out longer than I could have ever imagined, and that whatever I worry about in the short-term usually ends up working out in the long-term.

    I am still probably going to worry about where I will be three months from now, as I continue to apply for jobs and wonder if this next interview will finally be the one to free me from the crippling uncertainty that comes with waking up each day.

    But I will always try to move forward. Even when the world feels against me, even when nothing seems to go my way, and even when all hope feels lost.

    I keep going. Best I can do some days.

    Right, time to scroll through my camera roll and see what is in my backlog that is worthy of a review…

    …yeah that will do.

    A tradition my partner and I have kept up even during this unusual time for us is taking a trip on the train every Friday to go to a local town to go shopping for a bit, usually going to Asda to get custom pizzas from the counter there because our local one is usually never open and the quality being far below when it actually is open.

    It seems silly to put on paper, but “Pizza Friday” has been something he and I have tried to do consistently for the four years we have been together, and getting to continue experiencing it together even during rougher moments is a light that keeps me going.

    Although… the review today is not going to be about the pizza, it is about the preamble to getting the pizza, as there is a lovely coffee shop in extremely close proximity to where we end up called Coffee #1, a small chain of shops (albeit owned by the same group that owns Caffè Nero in the UK) which offers one of the best professionally-made mochas I have ever tasted, alongside a good selection of savoury and sweet delights.

    My usual go-to as part of these excursions is a three piece selection: a large mocha, a ham and cheese toastie, and a piece of rocky road. Together this comes to an admittedly steep amount of £13 exactly, which would not be far above other chains in terms of pricing, though definitely something I have slowed down on going all out in recent weeks.

    That said, the quality of each individual item is above and beyond what I would expect from any of the larger chains like Costa or Starbucks. 

    To start, the mocha is unbelievably creamy whilst still retaining a strong hit of coffee in each sip, and I want to give a random shoutout to how solid the mug feels to hold. Usually when it comes to coffee shops I find myself intensely disliking the tiny handles that usually come on mugs, whereas this is a solid handle to grab onto and sip as the caffeine takes hold.

    The ham and cheese toastie is the highlight for me though, as this simple staple often sets me up for the rest of the day, with the key difference being that it is not put into an industrial toaster oven like is the norm among other chains, but it placed into a ridged panini pressed, ensuring the cheesy top of the toastie is both melty and with a slight crisp alongside the inside being gooey and delicious.

    Finally, there are very few ways you can mess up a piece of rocky road… although my controversial opinion is adding cherries or raisins into it, whilst being the traditional route, is actually a surefire way to ruin what should be a decadently sweet treat. Tangents about the optimal road construction aside, this is a perfect piece of rocky road, having a good balance of biscuit, chocolate, and marshmallows. 

    Whilst a full spread like this is probably going to be cut back on for myself in the foreseeable future to help manage funds, it makes me happy that I was still able to indulge like this to help keep my spirits up in the darker times.

    I definitely think I am off track for my initial goal of 180 Redundancy Reviews this year, but I am still here, and I am still thankful for you reading this far. Wherever you are, I hope you are keeping yourself safe the best you can. The world continues to be an unusual and scary place to exist at times, especially when things change rapidly.

    I am still here, and you are still here. We should celebrate that.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 416-428, “Loss of Potential”

    Redundancy Review: Day 416-428, “Loss of Potential”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning downers and bummers, welcome to Day 416 to 428 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    The struggle continues to be real. We are back to being in a heatwave in the UK, in addition to being in a “flash drought” due to how little rain we have been getting recently, which is both depressing and terrifying, the latter for the effects of climate change getting progressive worse over here, and the former because I feel sitting down and listening to the rain would help me a little bit.

    Outside of watching the world burn, it has been a struggle to write down my thoughts because everything feels negative right now. I definitely have some good days, but a lot of days recently have had aspects of my negative mind prevail. A particular highlight includes a night where my partner and I had a heart-to-heart about my current job situation, leading to me needing to vocalise something in order to get it out of my head.

    It came after my most recent unsuccessful interview, and I was talking about how it felt to be sitting across a panel of three people in my interview outfit – an outfit that makes me look as professional and presentable as can be – and one dark thought came into the back of my mind as I was answering questions:

    “Who in their right mind in this day and age wants to hire a transgender person?”

    Admittedly… the phrase my thought manifested was not “transgender person”, it was most definitely the T-slur. I am not proud of saying/thinking it, especially in reference to my own identity, but to try deny otherwise would be to deny the serious self-image problems I have been experiencing as part of this most recent layoff/job loss.

    I am still not really sure what to call it, cause in the end I was a contractor, someone who could have been let go extremely easily at any point so it is not really a “layoff”. With a fair bit of time having passed since the initial hit, I do appreciate the amount of heads up that I was given was extremely generous, especially in the current climate of layoffs.

    Layoff might just be the easier word to say? There is a lot of nuance around my current situation, ever since the initial redundancy that triggered this entire journey, which has left me reflecting on my entire career thus far which led to an… uncomfortable conclusion about each of my previous roles: none of them ever reached their true potential, and looking back on that all makes me feel an immense sadness.

    From my first day at Codemasters, I strived to make an impression and do my best work. I was looking back through previous messages to my partner where I recapped a performance evaluation I had with my platform lead at the time, where he had mentioned that “the higher-ups had definitely taken notice of me”, which eventually led to me assuming the “second-in-command” role for my team at the time, with the idea that I was being set up for advancement in the company.

    And then along came a certain video game publisher, who put a stop to any routes I could have taken, which put me on the virtual reality path after a year of working there… which is a good thing for me, considering almost everyone who stayed with the company got laid off sometime in 2023 due to QA being outsourced to another studio, meaning any potential I could have had would have been snuffed out anyway because of that.

    I still see friends and colleagues I had at the time on LinkedIn looking for something new, up to and including the former head of QA, a man who oversaw an incredible operation out of work for such a long period of time is a terrible sight, but it is terrible that everyone got put into that position to begin with.

    But I carried on my journey, and much like with Codemasters, I tried to do my best at Immerse. Making impressions, helping out where I could, which put me on the radar of the executive producer who took me under her wing and helped to mentor me, both in the ways of production but also helping me to mature into a better person, one who could tackle any sorts of problems. I am still thankful to her for all that she did for me.

    I once again had potential, and even though I did not know it, the executive producer had put me on a path that would have led to becoming a fully fledged producer in my own right, working under a new head producer and finding my own rhythm and standing on my own two feet…

    …well the last 428 days have shown things very differently, as the insolvency process at Immerse put a stop to that potential, and it has never really been explored since because of the move I took for my contracting role as a matter of survival.

    Even that ended with my potential being snuffed out once more, leaving me in this current situation of watching, waiting, and wondering what comes next.

    If I am fully honest, I have put a pause on job searching for the time being. Summer feels like a bad time to find something new because most people are going to be on holiday, but also, part of me wants to go to Vexpo and treat that as a full reset.

    Spend the weekend partying, going to concerts, and just embracing my nerd side, before throwing myself fully into the numbers game that is trying to find a job in 2026. Who knows, maybe I will actually find someone there who could find me something to work on for the future – though the main priority is relaxation.

    It has been a while since I have posted anything on Wednesday, but I have not forgotten that we have Warhammer Wednesday around here. Although, I will not be discussing my model building escapades today… if just because I have not had the headspace to build for a while currently.

    Instead, I am going to be talking about my favourite chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, more commonly known as Space Marines – the Salamanders. Specifically through the lens of my current character on Space Marine 2, an Assault Marine.

    I have been having an absolute blast playing through the Operations and Siege modes on Space Marine 2, Player-vs-Environment missions which see you facing off against the Tyranid hordes or the legion of Chaos known as the Thousand Sons, fighting your way through infantry chaff, battlefield commanders, and the toughest elite units each faction can throw at you. 

    Assault Marines go into battle wearing a massive jump pack upon their back, allowing them to elevate themselves above the battlefield before crashing back down to earth like a meteor, soon turning into a flurry of blows against the enemy, armed with a potent melee weapon and a pistol to ensure maximum tactical flexibility when knee-deep in traitor flesh and xenos miasma.

    My current two weapons of choice are the Neo-Volkite Pistol, a concentrated beam weapon that does small tick damage on any enemy it hits whilst building up heat to culminate in a damaging explosion that can be modified to transfer heat to surrounding enemies if desired, and the standard bread-and-butter Power Sword, a versatile melee weapon that can be switched between “Power” and “Speed” style to change tactics against all sorts of enemies, whilst also serving as a potent dueling tool for heavier enemies.

    It carries a massive amount of danger, to go hurtling down towards massive groups of enemies, knowing that even if you do massive amounts of damage that stronger units will survive and you will have to fight them off, but I usually have my partner providing long range support as a sniper.

    So, why did I pick the Salamanders chapter?

    Ever since starting the game with my Assault on Black Reach starter set, I have been fascinated by the chapter, leading to me picking up the Tome of Fire trilogy and learning more about these noble warriors of the Imperium of Man.

    There are very few objective “good guys” in the world of Warhammer 40k, but the Salamanders definitely qualify under some measures. They take the safety of the general citizenry extremely seriously, often putting themselves in harm’s way so civilians can make it out alive.

    This does not mean they are soft however. They will fight with ferocious fire to defend what is right, and do not take kindly to those who would desert their posts to save their own skin rather than fighting to the end to defend the Imperium from harm.

    Also, I really like salamanders as an animal, so I would have an inclination to like a chapter named after them.

    I think that will cover everything for today, thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing well in these crazy times, and I hope that in some small way, my writing has helped you out, even if just to provide a small distraction.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 367-371, “Staying Positive”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning pioneers and explorers, welcome to Day 367 to 371 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    No, I am not ashamed for empahsising that number, thank you for asking.

    And if you did not notice, now you do.

    Small moments of brevity like this are what helps to keep my morale up when a lot of my life is shifting in drastic ways around me. From hanging out with friends to share silly jokes, to sitting down and playing video games with people I care about deeply, taking that time where possible really helps to stop my mood completely plummeting into negativity.

    That is not to say I am completely immune to negative moments, and admittedly the reason I am writing about this topic today is because my mind has been fixated on so many negative things that I want to try talk about what I do to stay positive in the face of massive life changes.

    One of the simplest things I have found positivity in ever since losing my job has been the ability to drink coffee without it feeling like a crutch or something that is “essential” for me to function through the day. Granted, I am someone who still needs an amount of stimulants in my system in order to be at my peak, but there have been moments where I think to myself, “I want a coffee”, rather than “Oh dear god I need coffee right now”, and because my day is dictated at my own pace currently I do not need to gulp it down as fast as possible to get the blood pumping.

    I think in general the fact I am taking life at a slower pace currently is both helping and hindering my mindset. Helping in that I do not feel constantly rushed by everything going on and the pseudo-urgency of corporate deadlines so I can work on projects at a comfortable speed rather than feeling ashamed that I am not doing everything all at once to make sure things get done.

    Though, it hinders me because some days all I feel I am doing is filling the time with activities to do nothing but distract me because I will get to the end of the day feeling accomplished with what I have done before the realisation sets in that I have to do it all again tomorrow and the things I did do have not sufficiently made me tired enough to sleep, leading to a restless night as negative thoughts creep back in.

    To borrow a quote from Umamusume Pretty Derby Season 2: “Has one day… always been this long?”. Fucking heartbreaking line in context, but it is one I have found myself relating to a lot these past days.

    Writing helps as well, but, some days it definitely feels harder to have the bandwidth to sit down and recount what I have been feeling, or even feel settled long enough to write something coherent about my day… which is weird to say on my writing blog.

    I do not want to call it “writer’s block”, because I do not particularly feel blocked on what I want to say, but whenever I try to write recently my head feels unbearably full with me needing to force myself to focus…

    …the fun part about being consistently inconsistent is that I wrote this paragraph, took a break, and then ended up sleeping for two hours before needing to do evening errands.

    I think I am going to skip ahead to the review, as it talks about a VTuber song I have wanted to discuss for ages and I do not want to lose another VTuesday along the way because I cannot write a preamble piece.

    So let the madness commence!

    The Hololive English Justice pair of Cecilia Immergeen and Gigi Murin is lovingly referred to as “Autofister”, due to Ceciilia being an ancient automaton and Gigi being… the fister.

    Cause of her massive power fists.

    These two are an absolutely chaotic pair with an amazing onscreen dynamic, Gigi’s chaos perfectly contrasting with Cece’s reluctance to play along whilst trying to maintain somewhat of a reserved facade, with both of them eventually aligning on things and letting all hell break loose.

    This is perfectly reflected in their annoyingly catchy song, with several fun visual gags throughout including:

    • “I’m fifty shades of fucked up”
    • Recreating The Creation of Adam but with their designs
    • The “argument” before the final chorus starting by showing the editing timeline of the video
    • And honestly the entire argument sequence is filled with great on-screen gags inbetween the two of them bickering in the background

    The part I want to highlight in particular is the bridge that comes right after the argument, as I feel those lyrics really resonate with what Autofister means:

    “All our fun must come to an end
    But at least you’ve found a friend
    So let us play and stay forever

    Now together!”

    These two came together as colleagues in Justice, but have formed a genuine and sincere friendship together that generates extremely memorable moments on stream, but does so in an extremely heartwarming way to see the two of them interact. If it were not for Hololive, there is a good chance these two would not have found each other, and even through the company’s many persistent issues, there is still beauty to be found in what the girls can create together.

    Feels like I have not written a lot, but there is only so much I feel I can do analysis wise on a song that is ultimately just a very silly project between two friends who work together. Give it a listen, I went through it three times as part of writing this and I am not even starting to get sick of listening to it.

    As the title suggests, it helps me stay positive.

    Thumbnail picture inbound…

    Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing well.

    Let us keep doing our best every day.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 366, “Continuing as I mean to go on”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning developers and promoters, welcome to Day 366 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    With the one year anniversary out of the way, things can continue rolling on – even if I am starting this way later in the day than I would usually do due to sleepiness, appointments, and social time with a good friend of mine.

    Speaking of continuing things, no matter how much writing advice is “oh do not use rule of three now cause that is an AI indicator”, I am going to keep using rule of three. Those chatbots are trained on data from writers all over the world, we had rule of three first, I am going to keep using it because I like the cadence of it and the clankers can take it from my cold, dead, and clammy hands.

    Plus I honour the Oxford comma, which surprisingly is not a feature of some AI writing. I once even had to point that out to the CEO of my previous company when looking at some social posts he had done for promotion and I could clearly tell it was done with AI.

    I should not chat too much shit about my previous work, as I did leave on good terms, but the prevalence of how AI was used on a daily basis did get to me a little bit as someone who dislikes GenAI entirely, from chatbots listening in on meetings to generate barely usable notes to another bot who translated tickets for the “agents” to pick up and execute.

    Probably a bit bold to say, but if I could find a job where I never have to hear the words “agentic” ever again, I would be extremely happy. Same goes for buzzwords like “ARR”, “grinding”, and whilst not a buzzword, “LinkedIn” is definitely up there as well.

    Can “deleting my LinkedIn” be considered a career goal? Getting to the point in my life where I would be able to never have to open professional Facebook ever again seems like a pipe dream, but one I would love to fulfill.

    I spent yesterday talking about how I am bad at networking, and then immediately started talking shit about the main networking platform for the tech industry. 

    For all the fluff that fills the Redundancy Review, I think my love-hate relationship with the tech industry is clear throughout the past year worth of articles. It has most definitely helped enable me to live my life up to now, and given me opportunities I would have never dreamed of… but at the same time I feel a need to recover from working five years in it and want nothing more than to escape to something more stable, if a little boring.

    …opening a cafe would not be stable, or boring, but it still speaks to me like a Green Goblin mask every so often…

    Well, until the day that I succumb to my intrusive desires to own a cafe, food reviews will have to do.

    And I am not doing a grand title of “Rosa Eats Her Way Around Shrewsbury!” because, quite frankly, reviewing food from Wetherspoons does not deserve that title, as much of a guilty pleasure as that place is to me.

    On Monday I hung out with a friend of mine to help them write a cover letter for a job application. We were initially thinking of going to a different place to sit, drink, and write, but it was closed for a staff party, so we ended up in Spoons instead.

    Which ultimately turned out to not be a massive problem due to the weekday “Club” offers that Wetherspoons put on, with Monday Club being a deal on the small plates they offer, being three for £10 rather than three for £14.99.

    I remember when that was the normal price, in the pre-COVID era. It actually used to be my preferred way of eating at the monthly nerd meetups I attended pre-COVID as it was a damn good deal for a university student and filled me up nicely, with an infinite refills coffee serving the rest of my needs nicely if at the cost of my sleep later on in the evening.

    Food from Wetherspoons is never going to be gourmet. It is not even really going to be massively flavourful. What it will do is fill you up for a cheap price with some weird comfort that comes from the lower quality.

    That said, the pizzas are usually some of the freshest things on the menu, and eight-inch variants are included in the small plates deal, so I had to get my usual of the Spicy Meat Feast. But I wanted something more, so I also included some chicken strips in the mix, which I then placed onto the pizza and rolled up to create the horrifying creation of the Spicy Meat Feast Pizza Chicken Strip wrap.

    And finally, came Wetherspoons “loaded chips”, the most basic chips in the world, haphazardly topped with melted cheese and bacon, served with a sour cream dip.

    Are these one of the easiest things to replicate at home? Yes.

    Is this somehow also a comfort meal for me? Yes.

    Probably cause it was the small plate I always ordered the most at my nerd meetups, there is something marvelously comforting about the simplicity of the plate, especially when you get a bite with all elements on it, it brings me back to a simpler time when all I had to worry about was the crushing weight of expectation at university rather than the crushing weight of surviving in the adult world.

    On that cheery note, thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing well. The week is almost over, and the weekend shall be upon us soon. My plans are very minimal, but I intend to take the time to relax all the same.

    I hope you can too.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 365, “One Year On”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning carousers and merrymakers, welcome to…

    Day 365

    …of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    A whole year has gone by since I started this series. What started out as something to act as daily writing practice has, for all intents and purposes, stayed exactly the same except for the fact it really is not daily anymore, except for when it is.

    Might be the energy drink in my system talking, but, I feel less pessimistic than I did yesterday anticipating this as an anniversary. Even took the time today to catch up with some old colleagues to see what they have been up to, which was nice to hear their voices again.

    Being upfront, I am someone who definitely does not network as much as they should: as a tech professional, as a writer, or as any of the labels I can ascribe to myself. I have a LinkedIn, but I feel anything I could write on my public page in any professional capacity would come off as performative more than anything else. I write the Redundancy Review, but I struggle to engage with other writers for fear of being disingenuous about their work.

    And well, I am a socially awkward fuck outside of all that. Even at meetups and conventions when it is quite clear I am surrounded by like-minded people who would be happy to talk for a little bit or accept compliments on their cool-ass cosplays, I find myself struggling to even approach them for a quick hello without my partner either acting as hype man, or starting the conversation for me for me to segue in.

    One of the many areas I have in the list of “things I need to improve about myself”, which is not to say I am not socially capable, more just… the initiation part is always the hardest – though I should get off this tangent now.

    It feels weird. Looking back on a year of events and activities resulting in a lot of ups and downs to find myself in a similar position to where I was when this series started out. 

    Out of a job, unsure of what I want to do with myself except writing as a hobby, and wondering what comes next.

    It was definitely a bit of a self-esteem boost when talking to my former colleagues and one of them saying that I should definitely be putting myself out there a bit more in terms of roles, and that I am capable for positions I have admittedly not been applying for.

    I think for the time being I will continue to vibe, letting nature take its course and seeing what appears. Anyway, having all this time for hobbies has been rather enjoyable, which brings us to yet another Warhammer Wednesday… the first consecutive Warhammer Wednesday no less. Even one where I will talk about a building project I have been doing.

    How unusual.

    What I have been working on this week has been a unit of T’au Empire Fire Warrior Breacher Team, one of the two ways you can build a box of Fire Warriors, as opposed to a Strike Team. Whilst I am aligning myself with the Farsight Enclaves and most likely running battlesuit spam more than anything else, it is probably a good idea to have a basic infantry unit ready to go for smaller games.

    Plus I found a great deal on an old “Start Collecting!” box on Vinted shortly before I got told I was being laid off, and they were included as part of it.

    For a bit of background, Fire Warriors are the bread-and-butter infantry of the T’au Empire, with the most notable iteration of them being what is called the “Strike Team” – wielding either pulse rifles or pulse carbines to unleash massive volleys of shots upon unsuspecting enemies who get close to the gun line. These were one of the main things I was scared of when facing T’au back in the day, as they could take out my squishy units from a distance with it not becoming much better on the charge, as being in closer range gave pulse rifles extra shots, leading to an overwatch that invariably did more damage than if I kept my distance.

    However, I am not one for a static gunline, and I would much rather my infantry be able to dish out good shooting whilst also being close to the enemy, meaning the “Breacher Team” with their pulse blasters feels like a more fitting choice.

    The sprue I am using comes with thirteen options for legs, though there are only ten bodies with which to build full models. 

    My main choices for legs were ones where they are either on one knee to take a shooting position, or bracing themselves on a “rear” leg to assume a standing but steady shooting position. They might not be a static gunline, but I love the dynamic posing that comes from crouching down or leaning back to absorb some of the recoil from the gun.

    Guy doing a reload has a relaxed posture, presumably further back in the gunline whilst his comrades coover him. The Shas’ui (leader) of the squad has his pulse blaster in his hands but is instead using a pistol, aimed slightly higher up to potentially interdict threats from above that might disrupt the gunline.

    Two models in the squad are using the legs that make it look like they are moving forward, but with both feet still on the ground. The remaining three sets of legs I did not use have more dynamic running poses with one foot being off the ground, which did not really align with how I wanted this squad to look.

    Especially with these two. When comparing them to the rest of the gunline which are crouching or leaning down, it feels as if they are a proper cohesive team. A sternguard holding position ready to engage any threats that appear whilst a vanguard advances forward, blasters at the ready to deal with whatever might appear from dark corners.

    Unrelated, I am not sponsored by Tamiya. I do however think it is the best plastic glue on the market both for securely gluing models together and for inhaling the sweet vapours of as you build.

    This has overall been a pretty fun kit to build, with a surprising amount of posing potential for static pairs of legs compared to the potential arrangements a team of Crisis suits could be put into. Painting procrastination will continue until morale improves.

    One year down, let us see what the next year shall bring together.

    Thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope Wednesday has been kind to you. If not, the weekend is not too far away, and whatever you need to do to relax, I hope you are able to do it.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 361-364, “Independent and Resilient”

    Redundancy Review: Day 361-364, “Independent and Resilient”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning momos and roaches, welcome to Day 361 to 364 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Took time away from writing over the weekend, mainly cause I ended up being so damn sleepy after eating way too much both on the Friday and somehow the Saturday, leading to hermitting a fair bit outside of delivering some bread to a friend who was visiting town.

    But, considering tomorrow marks quite possibly the biggest milestone the Redundancy Review will hit – a year since starting – need to be back on track in order to hit that.

    It feels weird to consider that the most life-altering event that has happened to me is almost a year past now, having the company I gave three years to go under seemingly out of nowhere, leading me to navigate joblessness for the first time in four years, encompassing applying for redundancy payouts, going through nonsense at the Jobcentre (a place devoid of soul and emotion), and applying to all different sorts of roles across communications, admin, and my main area of expertise, quality assurance.

    Outside of the redundancy payments, the rest of the ventures did not have much success. I have talked previously how much I despise the UK benefits system, and this opinion has not changed over time, with me very much not looking forward to when I eventually have to go back into that system to play along with their demands to get a meagre amount of money to go towards bills and small morale boosts along the way.

    Though honestly, I am a long way off needing to play the Jobcentre game, both because I currently have too much saved for them to even consider helping me out, and with the way my final paycheck worked out I will not even be eligible to say I am out of paid work until July – which by that point, who knows what could have happened?

    What I wrote above comes off as fairly pessimistic, and well, being honest, I do feel rather pessimistic right now. In addition to sleepiness over the weekend, I ended up having a lot of negative feelings in relation to being unemployed, even going so far as to cry heavily into my pillow some nights because the loss of my professional identity ended up hitting way too hard.

    I cannot recall how much I have used that phrase in previous reviews since losing my job again, but that is probably the most succinct way of describing how I feel.

    The way I was conducting myself professionally was not really healthy for me. I was burning out hard, losing passion for the work I did, and coping through seriously unhealthy ways – but at the same time, to not have that in my life anymore leaves me extremely listless in a way that feels particularly oxymoronic. 

    It is painful.

    It is confusing.

    It makes me doubt my every move.

    And that is why I need to keep writing.

    Even when I do not feel like it.

    Even when the world feels painful.

    Even when what I have to say is negative and borderline vitriolic in some ways.

    Because I do not want to fade away… and if it were not for my writing, all of this would stay stuck inside me.

    I will make it through, no matter the pain, no matter the pessimism, no matter the cost. 

    It feels weird to try segue into a VTuesday segment after talking about such pessimism, but considering the individual I want to discuss today, I think it all fits.

    The title of this review is “Independent and Resilient”, which is the alignment of my independent VTuber kamioshi of Matara Kan, a beautiful giant roach woman whose perseverance has inspired me greatly.

    Formerly of the agency VShojo, which crashed and burned extremely hard just under a year ago, Matara has now been continuing to carve her own path as a fully independent VTuber. She was even a guest at Vexpo last year, taking part in both the opening concert and a Meet & Greet, both of which I had the absolute honour of attending.

    I mentioned it briefly in my Vexpo rundown, but it is worth re-emphasising that I got absolutely stunlocked by Matara as I went into the booth for my Meet & Greet with her. I had my questions in mind, I was ready to talk to her about different topics, I was a confident person who, whilst a little socially awkward, would be able to talk to a VTuber she absolutely loved.

    “Ooo, you’re stylish~”
    “Rosa? That’s a gorgeous name.”

    Ueigrhauairhgetiow4jrgutorhgier09ghonvjer09withugbnoq4rphjgb4508gh9ndsght0j

    Brain? Gone. Words? Fumbled. Feelings of flattery? Off the fucking charts.

    I still managed to ask my questions, but in part due to my brain going haywire and the convention noise spilling in a little bit, I do not think I fully processed what she was saying back to me.

    So I just ended up gushing.

    Loving her resilience. The ability to carry on in the face of hardship. I did not explicitly mention to her about losing my job, but I think I mentioned having my own hardships and being inspired by her carrying on.

    It was not even two minutes I got to spend chatting with her, as when it came time for the attendant to politely signal that I should wrap up whatever I was saying, I said my thank yous and asked for a photo with her.

    This is still a cherished memory.

    And I recently got around to finally framing the penplotter gift that came with that Meet & Greet, taking its spot in my, slowly forming, VTuber art and merch tessellation on the old fireplace wall in my flat.

    Independent and resilient… I will embody those words as best as I can going forward. Even when the days feel dark, I want to try hold myself strong in the face of uncertainty.

    I just hope this is not empty fluff I am using to hype myself up.

    Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing okay. Things feel tough right now, and if you are struggling against it all right now, I hope you find the strength to win your battles.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 358, “How To Be Unemployed”

    Redundancy Review: Day 358, “How To Be Unemployed”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning layabouts and slouches, welcome to Day 358 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Has it only taken three days of being officially out of work for me to slightly lose my mind?

    Of course not – I was plenty mad before this. But there is a certain actualisation setting in that I do not really know how to be unemployed. We spend so much of our lives working with minimal downtime outside of scheduled holidays making it so that when the routine is disrupted by loss of a job, you have to start learning a new routine.

    For me, I still feel as if I am in the early stages of grief, perhaps exacerbated by my desire to find a new industry. It causes massive whiplash throughout the day cause I will find myself getting hyped over something…

    LIKE THE RELEASE DATE OF ACE COMBAT 8 BEING ANNOUNCED DURING STATE OF PLAY YESTERDAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    …to just feeling a sudden emptiness and numbness after that hype as I slowly come to the realisation that it is eleven at night and even though I have filled the day with activities, it somehow does not feel like I have done “enough” and I have to try fill the entire day tomorrow with activities – productive or otherwise.

    My approach to the current situation might not be helping, because full-time job searching would actually be a way to fill a day, but as I explained I am still unsure as to when I want to do that.

    It makes writing feel hard too. In a way it feels performative to try write about my experiences when internally I feel numb about any of the things I am doing, that nothing I write about ultimately matters cause I do not feel what I am writing has value. I know that this is likely just the depression, or the estrogen, or the repeated beatdowns in optimism talking, but, it feels hard to write.

    Employment brings purpose. Being unemployed means losing purpose. Purpose can be found when unemployed. My purpose right now is both split between multiple areas and somehow undefined.

    I know I am good at writing. People call on me for writing assistance. The ability to extract what someone is trying to say from an initial paragraph or their own words and being able to put it into text is something I have honed and I am proud of…

    …so why do I struggle so much to do it for myself?

    Some of it would be restraint, because as much as I like to call this an “unfiltered” view of the experiences someone navigating an ever-changing world whilst unemployed, there is definitely some amount of filtering going on, if just because I want this site to exist as a portfolio and going full mask-off would be a little unwise off the cuff. Only when it is fully warranted does that part of me come out, which right now does not feel appropriate when talking about the numbness that accompanies unemployment.

    But right now, my words fail me, and the world feels all the more small because of that.

    I want to continue writing, and I want to be the kind of writer that can use words to tell stories even when those stories are not pleasant. To have the ability to craft words even when the motivation is lacking.

    Perhaps the fact I am writing about this shows I already am that kind of writer, just without the ability to see it for myself.

    At the very least, I still have my other hobbies to keep me going through this period, which can segue me nicely to finally doing a proper Warhammer Wednesday again, though, with more of a general discussion about the faction I am working on building and (eventually) painting: the Farsight Enclaves of the T’au Empire.

    So, a lot of the books I own for actually playing the tabletop game come from seventh edition, which was where I played the most 40k and ended up playing around with a lot of different factions… none of which were T’au.

    Specifically because T’au were ridiculously dominant in shooting phases and how they were able to shred through all other factions. I only really played in a small group at my local library, but I always held a mild fear of the T’au player due to how brutal his attacks were – a fact that was exacerbated by the fact I was a Dark Eldar player, a faction that was behind in terms of fun toys to play with compared to others and one that was insanely squishy even without considering that. It only took the T’au player helping me out with a list for me to find a niche within the faction that I enjoyed.

    If I had stuck with seventh edition for longer, my intention was to create some form of Aeldari hybrid force – messing around with adding in Craftworld and Harlequin forces as allied detachments to see if I could make up for what I lacked in certain areas, though a little game called “Star Realms” disrupted my desire to play 40k massively, and the desire completely went away once Magic: the Gathering got involved.

    So why is it, that when I am deciding to revisit the game and build up a collection of seventh edition viable armies from my old stuff, I went back to my old nemesis of the T’au?

    A taste of power perhaps?

    Or succumbing to the dark side entirely?

    Nah, neither of those things. I have always been a nerd for mechs and mech-adjacent things, and the various battlesuits of the T’au fascinate me greatly outside of their in-game effects. Boxy mechs that still have a decent amount of mobility due to their jetpacks or seriously tanky suits that are armed to the teeth with all sorts of high-yield weapons.

    But why the Farsight Enclaves specifically?

    There is a certain joy in aligning myself with the faction that is seen as rebelling against a strict caste system in favour of freedom and self-determinism. As the words in the beginning of my Farsight Enclaves supplement book says:

    “Through fire, revelation
    Through revelation, rebellion”

    This is not to say Farsight is the perfect leader in the grimdark world of 40k, having his own extremist tendencies and at one point in time succumbing to the temptations of Chaos somehow resulting in him becoming an avatar of Khorne for an extremely short period before his senses returned to him as a leader rather than an army-of-one.

    Plus, after transitioning I found myself to have a liking of the colour red more than I used to, which possibly plays into it as well.

    Part of my goal with building a Farsight Enclaves army is to build “The Eight”, Farsight’s group of allies that form a battlefield formation in seventh edition – this is something that can easily be done with my current pile of shame, so keep reading to see how that turns out and if I can motivate myself to actually base my models.

    Bit of a whiplashy Redundancy Review, but one that is likely to form some form of a pattern as I continue to debug my mind bit-by-bit.

    As always though, thank you for reading today’s edition. Wherever you are, I hope you are able to relax. We are past hump day now, and the weekend should be rapidly approaching. Hold on, you will get some time to yourself soon.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 338-357, “Decisions, Decisions”

    Redundancy Review: Day 338-357, “Decisions, Decisions”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning pots and kettles, welcome to Day 338 to 357 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    May 29th was the last day of my contract with my previous company. I leave on good terms and whilst I do wish things could have turned out differently, the nature of layoffs is to cut costs to give the business the best chance of survival when things get hard.

    So, what comes next?

    Decisions.

    Decisions.

    Decisions.

    Some amount of waiting as well, as I currently have two open job applications that I need to wait to see if I get an interview or not, but if those do not go my way for whatever reason, a lot of personal decisions for myself.

    One of the most pressing is deciding what I want to do as a career going forward. Early on after getting told I was going to be let go, I made a decision that I wanted to move away from the tech industry as a whole. My intention is to keep the door slightly open, partially because a good majority of my connections are within this industry, and partially because I feel I could jump back in if the right opportunity came along which somehow also managed to align with the direction I want my life to go.

    But that alignment feels unlikely to happen. Even with only a short amount of time to view myself from outside the tech industry, I can see a more positive future if I slowly start to decouple myself from the professional identity I have built over the last five years.

    Admin or communications are the main things that come to mind, if I want to redirect myself into a more corporate-style focus. Working with data, organising others, or being able to use my writing skills for a positive influence in an organisation.

    There is a perspective in my mind that putting myself back into a corporate environment is “stifling” my own potential, when all of my major skill advancement and career moves have been within the same startup environment, giving me the flexibility and freedom to build myself up within the same place by adopting new roles as they appear. 

    However, and this might come off as a bit controversial, but at this stage of my life, I would happily trade freedom and flexibility for a bureaucratic structure if it gave me even a modicum of job security, especially when it would give me a launching pad for the other activities I want to do in life. 

    My goal in life is to try be evolving constantly. For the last five years, this was a career-focused goal, of pushing myself beyond my limits in work, climbing the ladder, and seeing where I could end up in that regard.

    Having the ladder shatter beneath my feet twice within the span of the years has honestly left me kind of disillusioned with that whole notion, and has made me realise little time I have taken to evolve myself over the last two years or so. I have my Rambles, but I have not really taken time to develop it in the way I want to outside of a few standout Redundancy Reviews.

    I need to work more on original fiction, which was something I did tonnes of back in 2022, and gives me the ability to be more creative with my storytelling or work on writing prompts that I find interesting, or even just scratch out a random story based on the most simple things.

    Which leads in nicely to my other main decision: when do I want to go all in on job hunting again? Well, the most forward answer is: “Right now what the fuck are you talking about do you know how fucked the market is and how long it takes to find the kind of job you are describing?!”

    But, that is exactly why I am hesitating on when I want to dedicate myself to the job hunt, which is a full-time activity in and of itself. I want to recover from the stress of my previous role, I want to work on my own projects as an artist, and I want to be in the best position possible before I throw myself into the seemingly never-ending grind that is finding a corporate position in the current market.

    The obvious worry of this approach is financials. The cost of living in the UK is high, no thanks to successive governments not doing anything to help that in the slightest, and spending any length of time unemployed is not going to help my monetary outlook, especially as my partner is not exactly rolling in cash from his part-time job – though he is also looking for full-time work himself, which has its own set of difficulties exclusive to him.

    On the flipside though, in the face of several irresponsible financial decisions I have made over the course of my life, I think I have more of a safety cushion than my contemporaries in Gen Z, which gives me a surprising amount of runway for both job hunting prospects and working on my own projects.

    And that is assuming I do nothing at all, which would include not taking commissions (which I am always open for get in touch if you are curious) or selling any of my collectable items, which I am currently working through the notion of selling a good chunk of my Magic card collection.

    Not for overt dislike of the game, but more because I am sitting on a good number of expensive cards that are gathering dust in a binder, and that I am unlikely to buy any new sealed product in future because Hasbro’s management of the game has fully put me off investing any more money into it.

    The road ahead looks rocky, but when times look hard, I keep the immortal words of Phoebe-chan in my head.

    My love of VTubers will definitely keep my spirits up as I navigate the days ahead, segueing me nicely into a VTuesday segment where I am actually going to talk about something recently released for a change rather than picking something from the backlog of awesome VTuber-related things I want to write about.

    Specifically, the second original song from Densetsu.EXE, a VTuber idol group formed of Phoebe-Chan, Mint Fantôme, and Victoria Roman: “Burn On! Hot-Blooded Heroine”

    So, I have mentioned Phoebe-chan before, my partner and I met at her Vexpo last year with her opening concert performance leaving a lasting impact on me to the point I bought her album and my partner bought a lightstick. Specifically my partner refused to accept change from her manager Steiner which left them both a little confused before they just went with it.

    However, I have not ever mentioned Mint or Victoria, which for the latter comes solely for the fact I have not interacted much with their work outside of what they do with Densetsu.EXE, only really seeing bits of her from clips when they are all streaming together. Considering how much I enjoy her personality in those moments, think it might be an idea to properly sit down and engage with her.

    As for Mint, it is now a silly goal of mine to attend a Meet & Greet with her for the sole purpose of talking to a VTuber about Ace Combat, as she has streamed Ace Combat 4 previously and someone who sounds suspiciously like her has streamed Ace Combat 7, but I am sure that is completely unrelated.

    Whilst they are all nerds in their own right, they are still idols… even if this song is particularly silly more than anything else, looking to pay tribute to old Japanese sentai style shows… which I am going to be honest, I know next to nothing about so I can not really do a deep analysis on the aesthetics of this other than it is absolutely amazing to see the idols performing as heroes in their signature outfits with PNGs of their avatars imposed onto their heads, with special mention to Mint wearing the exact off-the-hanger cosplay that so many other nerds can buy. 

    I think the MV is also a testament to how far Steiner goes for the talents under his management. Both acting as director and starring in it as the main villain “Lord Loiter”, which is a fantastically bizarre name for something in this style, it really shows the dedication he puts in to helping the enable the girls to pursue more ambitious projects, shown in the fact that the explosions in this video are real and done with gasoline.

    In general, this MV is an absolute achievement for all the hard work involved by all parties, a beautiful display of what independent groups fo VTubers can achieve with the right backing and people behind them, producing high-quality works of art that show the passion that lies behind the screens and the dedication to get it done, though I think Steiner says it best himself.

    If on the off chance you somehow see this, please forgive me for including your spelling error GIF response – it was too funny to pass up

    Also dropping the thumbnail of the video for the thumbnail of my article, courtesy of the lovely Maid Mint herself.

    Much like how this segment started with Phoebe saying “Never give up, bitch!”, I strive to never give up on myself, as my idols show what they can be capable of when you keep on keeping on.

    Well, I got no excuse now, I am officially unemployed and made a declaration I want to try keep evolving my writing work, guess I got to try keep to it now.

    As always, thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are safe and keeping well. If not, then I hope my silly words about various topics have brought you comfort, if only for a short while.

    Keep going. I will if you will.