Rosalia Rambles

Tag: mental-health

  • Redundancy Review: Day 14, “Bandaging Bruises”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: https://rosaliarambles.wordpress.com/2025/06/11/redundancy-review-day-1-a-new-beginning/)

    Good morning scrappers and brawlers, welcome to Day 14 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Yesterday sucked.

    It sucked really hard.

    The Jobcentre was of minimal help to the current situation, only being able to give me the phone number for HMRC and telling me to take it up with them – which got sidetracked when I got home and found an email from the Insolvency Service saying part of my payout had been denied, a situation many of my colleagues found themselves in.

    I was in a foul mood cause of the meeting, and this discovery only exacerbated things for me, to the point I sent a very strongly worded email to the liaison officer handling the company about what I had encountered along with how furious I was at their conduct throughout this process.

    Considering we got a response, and I specifically got a letter I should hopefully be able to take to the Jobcentre, we definitely lit a big enough fire under her to get things moving… did not stop her making two fairly egregious errors in my letter initially though but that is me being a bit sour still.

    This entire process/journey I am going through right now has been extremely hard on my psyche. Part of the Redundancy Review’s origin is trying to make the best out of a bad situation by using my time to stay in the habit of writing, but that is still what it is: a bad situation.

    Having to go back to the Jobcentre is humiliating, especially as I have been in regular work for the last four years. Explaining my situation over and over again reopens any wounds I thought might finally be healing. Every time I have to deal with bureaucratic bullshit to get what I am owed I feel a reminder that the life I knew has fallen apart.

    But I can not stop. 

    I will deal with whatever necessary evils I have to in order to get what I need. I am a fighter through & through, a head-first problem solver in all scenarios, and a bloody stubborn person to the core… however difficult that last one has made things for me sometimes.

    God that felt good to get out early in the morning.

    There is a positive for myself to look forward to today – I am axolotl sitting for my parents. They are currently galavanting around Europe so I need to go back to my childhood home to not only take care of a gosh darn cutie, but also water the plants in my mother’s greenhouse, some of which are earmarked for me so there is definitely some urgency there.

    Still have not heard anything back from Poncle yet either. Starting to get a little paranoid that I might have screwed up the application somehow or my passion at the idea of working there was a little offputting. Hopefully something comes in soon, be it an interview request or a rejection.

    If anyone reading would like to help me out whilst I am waiting, I am currently always available for freelance writing work. My emotions go into everything I write and if the above proves anything, I feel extremely intensely about things. Fact or fiction, I aim to introduce passion to everything I write.

    Today’s review topic is going to be another Hololive-based one, but instead of reviewing a group’s version of a song, I am going to be looking at a talent’s original creation.

    Mori Calliope debuted in the first generation of Hololive English, “Myth”, and has been one of the most prolific members of the organisation behind the now-graduated Gawr Gura. From multiple partnerships across different organisations to performing at her own solo concerts, she has really made the most of her time in the company.

    When it comes to her music though, I am usually of a split opinion – either being incredibly impressed with how a song fits her voice or feeling that she might be trying a bit too hard.

    None of my worries come through with Lose-Lose Days though, in fact I think it might be the best song she has ever produced in her time with Hololive.

    It is her love letter to the other members of her generation, having been released around a month after Amelia Watson graduated and the meaning of the lyrics only amplifying in the wake of Gawr Gura graduating earlier this year.

    Considering in the early days Calli struggled with her role as an idol, most notably using a higher pitch in her voice to appear more “cutesy”, seeing her talk about some of her struggles through this song is rather impactful.

    “I was all bark no bite

    Fighting with God

    When it got dark at night

    The hours got long”

    To me these lyrics speak to Calli trying to find her place within Hololive, working extremely hard to make an identity for herself and possibly coming off a bit abrasive in the process. She is a notorious workaholic in the company so I can fully envision her working into the long hours of the night.

    The core message of the song though is her development of her friendship with Myth though, a fact highlighted by a gorgeously animated video by an artist known as DuDuL, someone who rose to fame via Hololive fan animations and his involvement in the community is shown through how many easter eggs are laid around for Holofans to find.

    The first two choruses end with the line:

    “If I got you, I might just stick around”

    This reflects on the song’s overall message of her friendship with the rest of Myth, and how that friendship has kept her around, but the final chorus ends off a little differently:

    “I’m gonna smile and make

    You guys

    Proud”

    A frankly beautiful change of wording that caps off a song about personal development in a very heartwarming way, only amplified by her final message written to the rest of her genmates, emphasising that no matter what happens or how things change; they always have their accomplishments together as Myth.

    I chose this to review today because of how yesterday went for me. It really did feel like a lose-lose day but I am going to try not dwell on it, I am just going to bandage my bruises and go out into today trying to make the most of it.

    Thank you for reading the next milestone edition of the Redundancy Review, we have now hit the two-week mark, and my momentum has no signs of stopping just yet. Enjoy today, and if for some reason your today is hard, you always have tomorrow. Be safe out there.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 8, “Too Damn Hot”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: https://rosaliarambles.wordpress.com/2025/06/11/redundancy-review-day-1-a-new-beginning/)

    Good morning lizards and wizards, welcome to Day 8 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Summer is here in full force in the UK, and especially the humidity here is not doing me any favours. Makes it hard to focus during the day amidst everything else going on.

    Not sure if it is because of the heat, but I am struggling to write this morning. Everything I do for the redundancy review is off the cuff, nothing is written in advance so it is all my personal thoughts and feelings written out online.

    I think today might be a shorter one nonetheless. I took pride with how much I wrote yesterday but right now I just want to rest a bit more.

    On the days I am doing well though, I can smash through writing like nobody’s business. You can find out how if you decide to commission me for writing work – would not exactly use this as a shining example, but you can check out other pieces in my portfolio if that would interest you.

    The review section will also be shorter, but it will be covering my current favourite breakfast item.

    Right now there is nothing better for me to start my day than a delicious buttered crumpet, and when it comes to branded bakery products in the UK my pick tends to be with Warburtons. A pack of six is relatively cheap from most leading supermarkets here, and they crisp up extremely well with my toaster on its “3” setting.

    Whilst my preference is salted butter, my partner has a bit more of a sweet tooth and chooses to top his with Lotus Biscoff spread, making it a very decadent treat of an afternoon but one that tastes incredibly good.

    In my opinion, crumpets are also versatile in their applications outside of being eaten on their own with a spread – several recipes exist for crumpet pizza online and I have even gone as far to use crumpets as the bread for a breakfast sandwich at one point in time, shunning the conventional muffin.

    Short, sweet, and to the point. Sometimes it is good to stay in the habit even if you do not have much to say.

    I hope you have a good day, please try to stay cool and relaxed wherever you are.

    Warburtons Crumpets can be found in all good UK supermarkets.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 6, “Sluggish”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: https://rosaliarambles.wordpress.com/2025/06/11/redundancy-review-day-1-a-new-beginning/) 

    Good morning slugs and snails, welcome to Day 6 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Part of what I have been emphasising in this series and my job search in general is the idea of staying in a routine – keeping to a regular wakeup time, having a regular breakfast, and writing this series of course.

    However, I am finding myself wanting to adjust exactly what my routine entails in terms of sleep schedule. Thus far I have been trying to operate on what has been my average working routine, waking up at around half 7 to start doing things at 8 and working through to around half 4. 

    The issue with this is that I have lost the reasoning behind that routine. I liked coming in early at both jobs I have had because a lot of other people would start later than me, and having a longer amount of time before the daily stand ups started let me organise what tasks I wanted to get done before everyone else came in.

    So I am doing a trial run of setting my alarm an hour later, and taking a more flexible approach in how I tackle the day in terms of what I get up to. Whilst I am eager to get back into work for a variety of reasons, there is no denying that I still have some degree of burnout from my previous roles and having some extra sleep each day will probably make me more effective at what I need to do.

    In terms of the job search the main thing I am waiting for right now is waiting to hear back from a handful of roles I feel extremely passionate about. Considering how effective seeing people’s LinkedIn posts have been in finding roles I am interested in, it is actually paying off more to scroll the main feed and search out recruiters/roles rather than actually going to the “Jobs” section of the site.

    That said, I am still available for writing work if you want to hire me. I can range from concise and to-the-point writing or developing a long elaborate piece that explains everything in minute detail – if anything I have written interests you, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

    Considering how warm it has been lately near where I live, and the temperature gauge on the fan in my room is reading a lovely 29 degrees Celsius, I think today’s review will benefit from being my other choice of hot weather beverage outside of a milkshake.

    I fall into two specific categories when it comes to alcoholic beverages:

    1. I can’t drink, on account of being on medication that is advised to not drink while I am on it
    2. I don’t drink, specifically because even without the medication I am a goddamn lightweight

    Outside of that, I am also not the biggest fan of the taste of alcohol – it always hits the back of my throat in an unpleasant way. 

    All this to say, I was absolutely elated when I saw the Asda near me had stocked Old Mout Berries and Cherries No Alcohol Cider. My partner introduced me to this stuff near the end of 2021 and, along with other no/low alcohol ciders, has become one of my treat drinks of choice.

    Especially prevalent in the no alcohol version is a greater appreciation for the flavours of the fruit in the drink itself. Getting a pleasantly tart hit of cherry followed by the smooth & sweet flavour of raspberry makes each sip a delight, each component having its time to shine without an overabundance of alcohol.

    My preferred way to have this is usually along with some kind of spicy food, with my top two picks being either my homemade chicken wraps paired with some kind of hot sauce, or an Asda Pizza Counter pizza topped with sliced jalapeno. I can not think of a better way to relax in the evening.

    Think that covers everything for today. Thank you for taking the time to read my work as always, and I hope you are able to stay cool in the summer heat – treat yourself to something cool and refreshing.

    For more information on Old Mout, visit their website here: https://www.oldmoutcider.co.uk/ 

  • Redundancy Review: Day 4, “Uncertainty”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: https://rosaliarambles.wordpress.com/2025/06/11/redundancy-review-day-1-a-new-beginning/)

    Good morning friends and foes, welcome to Day 4 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Yup, I am going to be writing this even on a weekend, even if I did slip a little bit on my wakeup routine and slept in an extra hour.

    There is not going to be any job search update news on weekends, specifically because I intend to try and keep weekends to myself unless a seriously good role appears that I will make the extra effort for.

    Got plenty of mental state stuff to ramble about though, so I will launch straight into that.

    What is taking its toll the hardest right now is the waiting, or as the title suggests, the uncertainty. Currently I am waiting to hear back from a handful of jobs I am pretty excited about, but also waiting for the government services to get back to me with news of either my redundancy payments or my unemployment benefit.

    I have never been good at waiting personally, the sense of anticipation that builds when I know something is coming usually puts me into a state of limbo until the thing arrives.

    Uncertainty is not just coming into play when it comes to waiting though. In general recently I have had a lot of self-doubt creeping in, both in regards to jobs and my writing. It usually comes as a result of tiredness and my brain becoming overactive in regards to how I perceive my writing.

    In the end, I am doing this for myself more than anything else. Writing is a passion, and one of the best pieces of advice I have ever seen in relation to art in general was “don’t let it die inside your head” – which is my intention as I get back into the groove of things.

    That said, I continue to be available for writing work. If you want fiction, fact, or fun topics covered with my writing style, please do not hesitate to get in touch. I would love to get involved with people’s projects.

    So yesterday I reviewed some local food, and today I will be reviewing another local place but instead covering a cold, refreshing drink.

    During lunchtime yesterday my partner decided to treat me out for a milkshake, and in Shrewsbury there is only one place we go to for it: Simply Sweet.

    It is actually a fairly recent addition to the lineup of independent businesses in town, having only opened a year ago, but in that time it has become a firm favourite place for its varied offerings in terms of both milkshakes and desserts.

    Specifically I usually go for what is known as an “Out of this World” milkshake: Milkyway, Mars, chocolate sauce, and coal dust. This goes down extremely smoothly, the mix of chocolate bars and ice cream blended together make a rich but not stodgy drink – especially welcome as the weather heats up.

    I also have to give a shoutout to the owner as well, he is an incredibly genuine guy who always seems happy to see us as regulars, chatting happily about what we have been up to and how he is going with the business. His attitude about working for himself shows through in the quality of his work.

    In terms of price, Simply Sweet does position itself more at a higher end, with my regular sized milkshake being £6.50, however I feel this price is extremely worth it given the quality of what you receive.

    That covers everything for today, more concise for weekend reading. Thank you for taking the time to read today, and whatever you get up to today I hope you have a good one. 

    For more information on Simply Sweet, visit their website here: https://simplysweetshrews.com/

  • Redundancy Review: Day 2, “Adjusting”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning dalies and mentlegen, welcome to Day 2 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    I kept saying to myself yesterday that now the hard part is ahead of me: actually keeping up with writing this every day and maintaining the routine. My therapist has always said to me that it takes 21 days for the brain to start adapting to a change, so I guess that is the informal goal for myself currently.

    Trying to get back into my previous routine is definitely hitting hard as well. In the days before getting the official news of my redundancy I really slipped in getting out of bed at my usual time – got a delicious mocha next to me to help with shaking off the sleepiness.

    The mood has shifted as well. Whilst in the immediate aftermath I felt a lot of relief of finally having the axe come down; I feel a fair bit of melancholy today. 

    All of my colleagues are insanely talented people who were absolute joys to be around, and while we do have a Discord server for us to stay connected there is a twinge of sadness about the lost potential of what we had become capable of as a company, especially as we were on track to do some amazing things.

    In terms of my job search, I am intending to apply for a Producer role at Jagex today, working on their new game in the Runescape universe. Fully remote with travel into the office 4 days a year for team days, which sounds exciting.

    Also sorted out both my redundancy application and Jobseekers’ Allowance application yesterday as well. Filling out government forms can be extremely demoralising and degrading at times if you ask me, especially when it comes to repeating information across both of them, but whatever can help keep me afloat whilst I find my next role.

    That said, I am available for writing work of any variety still. If you need professional copy, script writing, or bespoke fiction I would love to hear from you and discuss your project – any experience would help me round out my portfolio and gain a better understanding of a wide range of clients.

    Now, time for us to move onto the review.

    “But Rosa! How are you going to ensure you have enough things to review for however long this series goes on?”

    I am very glad you asked, strawman representation of my audience that I just made up. There are two main factors that are going to keep this series going as long as it needs to. 

    The first of which being that I enjoy a massively wide variety of different activities like cooking, card games, video games, music, films, and plushies. I often refer to myself as a “collector of fine things”, and these fine things will ensure I do not run out of topics for review any time soon.

    The second factor being that out of all the things I enjoy, I am not above picking an extremely esoteric item to discuss, which segues us nicely into today’s review…

    Yup, I am reviewing a pot of instant coffee today.

    TrueStart is a brand I have only recently taken notice of, but upon searching out their story based upon what is written on the packaging they have quickly become my go-to instant coffee now.

    For a brief background on the company, they are what is known as a “B Corp”, an accreditation designed to offer distinction to for-profit entities that are striving to have a positive impact on people and the environment, maintaining transparency and accountability. Considering the coffee industry is mainly dominated by Nestle, it is refreshing to see a company actively striving for change within that space.

    That was partially the inspiration for making the switch to TrueStart Instant. I was a prolific drinker of Nescafe Azera specifically, and whilst it went down pretty smooth for an instant coffee I was on the lookout for moving away from the Nestle ecosystem. Cue a trip in Asda where their packaging caught my eye, and I put it in my basket – prompting what is now a permanent change.

    Outside of the care and concern for the environment, TrueStart Barista Grade Instant Coffee is absolutely incredible in terms of taste and strength. As someone who primarily drinks mocha due to the flavour of standalone coffee being a bit too pungent for my taste, I still appreciate a strong hit of coffee within my drink of choice.

    TrueStart definitely delivers this.

    Additionally as well, at least in the Asda where I shop, picking out TrueStart products does not break the bank – especially compared to the prices of other leading brands, letting me enjoy a smooth coffee flavour whilst knowing my money has gone towards a positive cause.

    I think that covers everything I want to talk about today, a bit more of a ramble than what I posted yesterday, but I hope reading it has made your day a bit brighter. Whatever you get up to today, I hope you have a good day. I know you will smash it.

    For more information, and to buy TrueStart coffee, follow this link here: TrueStart Coffee | Feel Good Coffee | B Corp | Carbon Negative