Good morning soothsayers and oracles, welcome to Day 105 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
Being real it feels weird to be saying “one hundred and” each time I start off a new review past day 100, I did not think I was going to be keeping up all this time. I guess it goes to show even when the schedule slips and I miss a day or two (or three), the passion & care for my craft still persists.
That said, there is actually a job search update. You know, that thing I said I would be doing a segment on during each review before it fell to the wayside and I found myself a role so itself became a redundant segment in an article series incited by redundancy?
There are just moments where a silly thought comes into my head, and writing it out makes it sound even sillier but I absolutely love how it came out. The above is one of them.
Anyway, back on track. Ended up applying for a manager position at the local CeX, which for the uninformed is a UK chain of technology exchange shops and it is pronounced exactly how you want to say it. For those of you who doubt the pronunciation or want to avoid saying it, the wi-fi networks in a shop are:
Protected CEX
Unprotected CEX
I do not think any picture could be clearer than that on how the company wants the name to be pronounced.
It is very unlikely I will get the position, considering whilst I have a wide raft of management skills along with generally transferable soft skills, I am an outsider applying to a retail environment, something which I genuinely have no experience in.
In a way I feel it is a rite of passage I have missed almost, in that I never did any sort of retail role before landing in my current field, and my return to the tech industry came before I would have been eligible for temporary Christmas roles around town, so, if this somehow goes somewhere it would be my first shot at retail.
But again, there are plenty more higher qualified candidates than I, so I doubt it will go many places.
On the plus side today, my mentor figure got back in touch with me today to both give a compliment on this blog and to reassure me we were still on good terms, hence the title of today’s edition.
That said… I am extremely exhausted for some reason, so I will do a short review for what I will now likely be calling “VTuber Tuesdays” for the foreseeable future because even though it will be predominantly Hololive, there will be days where the topic is just something VTuber related.
Today it is the fact I had the Vedal plushie arrive and the packaging it came in absolutely made me laugh.
Free him. Please.
In all honesty, this is such a high quality plushie. The shape is absolutely perfect to what I would want a Vedal plush to be, in that I can hold him like a burger and it feels right to do so.
But not only that:
He balances perfectly on the Neuro-sama plush I have.
It could not be more beautiful if I tried.
Anyway, that is me, I need to sleep. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are I hope you are able to get some good sleep yourself, no matter the time of day.
Good morning humans and monsters, welcome to Day 104 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
For someone who consistently wishes that the Monday blues do not hit people too hard whenever she signs off a Sunday article, god damn do I feel like I have been hit by a truck today.
All of a sudden last night my impostor syndrome flared up something fierce, not only making me doubt the efficacy of whatever I am doing on this site, or if I am even worthy enough to hold my current position within QA.
The answer to the latter is simple: yes, yes I am. My brain is just stupid and exhausted from constantly worrying about the situation I am currently in which causes me to ignore my track record as a QA professional and that I would have not sustained a close to five-year career if I did not have some amount of pride or professionalism in my work.
That, and I am a magnet for bugs no matter what I play… though it seems to happen a lot more randomly in EA games which is very thematically appropriate given my history with the company.
One way to prove that taking time to rest is helping my brain redshift on what things mean to me is that my body’s response to these feelings is not feeling the need to push myself further, in fact, it is quite the opposite – I feel myself slowing to a crawl, but still trying my best to move forward.
I think that is all I can really ask for given the year that I have had, that I can keep moving forward and do so with the acknowledgment that I am still here today, even when there was so much that could have brought me down for good, not only in this year, but in so many years prior.
Considering Undertale’s tenth anniversary was over the weekend, I think the image is pretty thematic.
Even though I was never really part of the fandom surrounding Undertale and everything that came with it, it is hard to believe such an impactful game is already ten years old. Ten years ago I was in sixth form (name for British education from 16-18 in some schools), possibly some of the worst years of my life due to academic stress, identity worries, and trying to navigate a much lonelier world than I had before.
When one day, I reconnected with a friend on the bus home from school, talking about some of the stuff I had been up to and what he had been up to, with the conversation eventually turning to Undertale. I mentioned I had heard of it but had not really seen anything about it at all.
It was given to me as a Steam gift later that evening from that same person… wherever you are right now Sam, whatever you have been getting up to… I hope you are living a fantastic life, and know that I still treasure the memories of our friendship.
Undertale appeared at one of the lowest points of my life, and even if I only played through it once (neutral route into Pacifist, cause good god I did not have the mental fortitude to do Genocide back then and I certainly do not have the cojones to do it now), the experience still left an impact on me.
I still listen to the music, and those immortal words in that screenshot still stick with me today.
Despite everything, I am still me. I am still keeping on, even if the last ten years have changed me drastically. And that is something that is worthy of celebration.
Not really a review per se, more just a story that still holds significance in my mind and in a way is topically relevant to recent events. Fuck it, I will put the inverted commas on and post this up, cause I appreciate what I wrote today.
And I appreciate you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope your Monday blues are not hitting too hard and that you are still able to get things done today.
Good morning slackers and underachievers, welcome to Days 101 to 103 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
Yeah, I have been resting.
Crazy.
A schedule slip that has come from deliberate, intentional, and honestly, needed rest.
And it has felt weird honestly, to wake up on a weekend to find myself sleeping in on Saturday rather than rushing out the door to do errands or start working on something around the flat. Instead I chilled in bed for almost three hours past when I woke up, letting myself feel relaxed and trying not to worry about things.
Even when I did head out with my partner when he was going to work, I only went to do minor things, such as having some lunch and buying a small amount of food to do dinner that night.
Today has been no different… minus getting woken up by another false alarm fire alarm going off, that was not a fun start to today – though once my day had started I found myself taking things incredibly easy still. I hung out with a friend and all we really did was sit on the sofa for near three hours before heading out to a simple lunch combined with some shopping.
It feels weird, to be willingly relaxing to this degree, for two main reasons:
A good portion of my mind still feels I am not entitled to relax, that I still need to be pushing myself in every moment
Outside of the usual paranoia issues that persist in my brain, I have not felt the resting anxiety that is present in my mind particularly hard
Organising my time still feels difficult though, as there is a lot I want to do during my downtime but the most rewarding thing right is just doing not a whole lot of anything.
I think that might be the key to letting myself heal here, in that I can spend my future time to do various other activities, but right now my weekends need to be lowkey affairs where I do very little, so that when I enter my usual winter hibernation time around Christmas; my time can be used to enjoy what I want to do, and not solely on recovering my energy.
The one downside to this is that I feel some social time will fall by the wayside because as much as I love all my friends, in-person socialisation can take a lot more of my energy than I often anticipate. Simultaneously though I can find energy by hanging out with people, so it depends on my mood on the day…
…in short I am a fustercluck of mental contradictions, which makes it hard to figure out where I need to direct myself sometimes.
That said, there is one constant in my life: good food. Oh yeah, we are back in action, a long-time coming next edition of:
Rosa Eats Her Way Around Shrewsbury!
God it has been a while I have got to type that title, and it makes me so happy to write it out again.
As part of my hangout today, my friend and I went to a venue called Floro Lounge on Shrewsbury High Street. “Lounges” is actually a chain of casual dining venues across the UK, being a bit more upmarket/expensive than somewhere like Wetherspoons but offering more esoteric options in exchange.
Specifically, I did not want something heavy from Floro today. Usually when I go in I get myself a bacon cheeseburger which I then add an egg on top of to make a sort-of breakfast burger – this normally fills me up for an entire day and was my traditional pre-D&D meal for the longest time.
So instead of going for a burger, I instead went for a tapas board, where three small plates could be ordered as part of an offer, which netted me:
Louisiana Chicken with Chipotle Mayo
Korean King Prawns
Guacamole with tortilla chips
The king prawns were the only thing I had ordered before, loving the flavour of the ssamjang-based marinade with a squeeze of the lime bringing a perfect savoury bite with a hit of acid.
The guacamole was good as well, but at the same time it did not hit the spot I was looking for. It was perfectly creamy and not overly stiff like supermarket guacamole can be like, but I think part of my brain is craving a giant plate of nachos from somewhere right now. No complaints though, was a nice lighter bite compared to what I might have been craving.
My main highlight though would be the Louisiana Chicken though, two thick chicken breast tenders in a lightly spiced batter served with an incredibly smooth chipotle mayo. It was absolutely fantastic, and I feel I could have devoured an entire board of the chicken with the other dips that were available (Maple BBQ and Sriracha with honey) easily.
For the price of £13.50 for the combined offer of the three plates, it makes for a perfectly passable lunch, especially if you are wanting to try new things.
Anyway, that will cover it for today, I want to get back to relaxing. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review, wherever you are I hope you are also able to relax and that the Monday blues are not approaching you too hard. I appreciate you being here.
Good morning playwrights and screenwriters, welcome to… Day 100, of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
There have been a lot of milestones on this journey, from marking months past the inciting incident, and to celebrating Day 69 the only way I knew how (immaturity), but Day 100 feels incredibly significant to me.
It is difficult to consider how much my life has changed in the hundred days since I was first made redundant, and honestly, I have the Redundancy Review to thank for giving me a timeline to work from because otherwise I would not have kept track of how much time had actually passed, as it feels recent and distant simultaneously.
But for all the hardship, all the good times, and the self-doubt that continues to pervade my system every day… I am still here. The story has not yet ended.
And I want to dedicate today’s Redundancy Review to that topic: stories. It is a word I consistently use on this blog, with “storyteller” being my preferred title to describe what I want to do in life.
Even if the current form of my passion for writing came to me later in life, I have always had a fascination with stories. To my best memory (curse you depression and neurodivergence causing me to forget things), I was always a kid who liked immersing myself in stories, either real or made-up. I remember enjoying creative writing assignments more than most, and even if I was not the best at literature analysis; discovering the story within a piece of writing fascinated me.
Stories are an essential part of human existence – millions are generated every day by people around the world, whether they realise it or not. A lived experience will one day become a story you tell to others, the hardship of today will eventually become something you laugh about in the future, and the missteps you make now form their way into a cautionary tale for the future.
This is the core of the Redundancy Review, the story of one girl trying to navigate her way through an ever-changing world whilst she grapples with her own life being disrupted drastically. Even if the schedule slips and I end up missing out a couple days of a so-called daily series, it still forms a part of the overall story about what I am going through.
There will always be more stories to tell, and be they fact or fiction, I aim to be around to tell them.
In a way that is what the review segment really is as well, a story. I never claim to be and do not want to be seen as a critic, because ultimately whilst I will give my opinions on the topics I talk about, there are far more qualified people than me to give proper critique.
I still aim to provide information for people to make up their own minds, but ultimately what I am doing is telling the story of the experience whatever I am talking about gave to me – hence the esoteric range of topics from music, gaming, and whatever I had for lunch on a given day.
Which, yes, does defeat the purpose of this being called the “Redundancy Review”, but “Jobless Journal” would make less sense considering I am in full-time work currently and “Severance Stories” makes even less sense when you take into account it was the entire company imploding and several other of my colleagues getting caught in the crossfire.
Anyway, back on track.
Initially I was struggling to come up with a review topic for today, but a sudden brainwave gave me the perfect topic for today, given that it is a cover of a very popular Vocaloid song that specifically changes the ending lyrics to be a bit more heartwarming than bleak compared to the original.
The song in question is Rolling Girl, with this cover being by Lollia and RichaadEB specifically.
Content warning ahead: I will be discussing both the cover and the original which cover very bleak themes of failure, depression, and suicide. Read ahead at your own discretion.
This song has appeared on a previous Redundancy Review back on Day 28, but did not give it the level of coverage it deserves due to feeling a bit shit at the time. Time to make this right.
For background information, Rolling Girl was released in 2010 and was composed by famed Vocaloid producer wowaka, who sadly passed away in 2019 from heart failure at the extremely young age of 31. Rest in peace dude, and know your art is still being appreciated a decade and a half later.
When it comes to the main bits of lyrical analysis, I will be using Lollia’s cover since that is the version I want to focus on, however I will link a version of the original PV here and a link to the Vocaloid wiki with approved English lyrics here for people to get the full picture of what Rolling Girl is as a song, along with using those approved lyrics for comparison.
There is a certain sense of hesitation I get talking about this song, due to the themes it contains and how I relate to them, so I will try my best to do it justice.
At its core, Rolling Girl is a song about someone who is failing over & over again, with these repeated instances eating away at them until it becomes far too overwhelming:
“All the noise
Slicing layers in her heard
Has her screaming away
Has her screaming away”
This is a feeling I can relate to a lot with the song, when my brain gets full of negativity it feels like a massive cloud of noise that just eats away at me inside, though it often gets to the point where I cannot say anything at all due loud everything is to me.
Throughout the song there are instances, mostly during the chorus, where the protagonist (Miku/Lollia) is talking to a figure. It is during one of these instances where I want to highlight a difference in the approved English lyrics to Lollia’s lyrics and how her creative input makes the song far more devastating.
In the original version, the first chorus ends with the lines:
“‘How about now?’ ‘Not yet, we still can’t see what’s ahead yet. Hold your breath now.’”
I interpret this as Miku talking to an embodiment of her depression, though I cannot decide what exactly I think the topic at hand here is:
Is her depression asking her if she wants to end her life, and she wants to hold on because she does not yet know what is coming?
Is her depression asking her if she wants to carry on, but she is too far in her own mind to see what is ahead so cannot provide an answer?
I personally lead towards the latter, as I feel the original Rolling Girl works better with its ending to look at the earlier parts in a more hopeful manner to give the finale even more impact, but we will get to that soon enough.
Lollia’s version leaves very little to interpretation, but I love how brutal and raw these lyrics are:
“‘Are you better now?’
‘No, I don’t know how!’
What’s the point in living if pain’s never ending?
Please just let me stop my breath right now.”
Holy fuck the content warning was definitely needed. The first time I heard these lyrics with this cover I had to pause because they are so insanely hard-hitting for someone who has struggled with depression, but they show the creative power of interpreting Vocaloid songs into another language to give them even more impact.
There is very little room for interpretation here, and I absolutely love that.
Going to skip ahead a bit, not only because I feel myself quivering a bit talking about these topics, but so I can get to the bit I truly want to talk about: the ending.
This will start with me talking about the approved English lyrics version on the Vocaloid wiki:
“’How about now?’
‘Just a little more, we should see something soon. Hold your breath, now.’
One more time, one more time
‘I’ll roll along again today’
The girl said, the girl said
Breathing laughter into the words!
‘How about now? OK, you can look. You must be exhausted too, right?’
Stop breathing, now.”
When combined with the PV, the most common interpretation of these last lyrics are that Miku has finally decided to end it all, with her embodiment of her depression comforting her in her last moments, commenting that she must be exhausted from failing so often, and finally telling her to stop breathing. A tragic end to a song that has hope spots earlier on.
But… Lollia’s cover takes a different approach, one that gives an initially tragic song a far more hopeful ending compared to the original, though starting off in a similar way:
“‘Are you better now?’
‘No, I don’t know how!’
Maybe one day you’ll see how well I’m improving
Please just let me stop my breath”
Before erupting into something beautiful:
“Not now.
Just once more, just once more
I will roll again today, I know for sure
Oh that girl said, what she said
Playing every word and playing to pretend
‘Just once more?’
‘No, no more!’
‘Take my hand and come with me’
‘Tell me your story’
‘Please just let me hold your breath for now.’”
Over four years later, the way this version of the song ends has stuck with me, and how it completely changes the interpretation of the figure the protagonist is talking to. In the original, it is an embodiment of depression, waiting for them to give up but also providing comfort to them in their final moments.
In Lollia’s version, it very much seems to be a close friend, not wanting the protagonist to suffer any longer, but also refusing to let them go through with suicide. Letting them stop “rolling”/failing, and asking to be told their story, saying that they will hold their breath for now, a line that can be interpreted as this person wanting to keep their friend holding for as long as possible.
Quick picture for the thumbnail, with the touching tribute to wowaka at the end of Lollia’s video serving nicely.
And we come back round to how today’s edition started: stories.
Everyone has a story, through highs and lows, through happiness and sadness, through joy and sorrow. Everyone’s story deserves to be heard, and I want to continue telling mine through the medium I have chosen, for as long as I can be allowed to.
For anyone reading today’s edition, thank you.
For anyone who has been a long time reader, thank you.
For anyone who has only just discovered me, thank you.
Good morning Gregorians and Julians, welcome to Day 99 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
No matter what I write today, this post is going out. There is no way in hell I am missing the day 100 milestone tomorrow by making a combined post, so whatever comes out of my head through my hands will be published today even if it is the most random tripe I can think of…
…that felt oddly good to write.
Main thing I want to talk about today is how it feels currently to try navigate each day at a time in an effort to treat my burnout. In short: it is tough.
The reason I am adopting a day-by-day approach is because my energy reserves to navigate each day feel exceptionally low, and most of that reserve is used to trying to stay focused, nourished, and not like I want to put my head into a shredder – which inevitably leaves me with very little strength after work to do things I enjoy or do the things I want to.
In that regard, plans need to stay flexible. Tonight I feel like I have enough energy to actually cook something, and try something new that I have been wanting to do, but yesterday I had no strength at all whilst desperately craving comfort, so pizza did the job nicely.
And because I have no idea how I will be feeling tomorrow, I do not feel comfortable making a plan for food tomorrow without knowing how my body is going to hold up… and that is okay.
If I can make it through each day relatively unscathed, then I will take that as a victory until I can get better.
There is no shame in taking things day-by-day, especially when things feel tough right now. I am in a position that is sustainable so long as I keep things measured, and I do not need to go beyond my limits unless the situation truly calls for it.
Plus after having to deal with prescription-related drama over the last two days, actually being able to take it easy some nights has really helped with my stress levels. I love what the NHS represents but goddamn if years of underfunding has not taken away a lot of its shine… come to think of it, it has been a while since I have had a left-wing rant on the review… should fix that soon…
Anyway, back on track, and running right into the review segment.
Several hours and one gashed knuckle later (damn knife sharpeners), I was finally able to try what I wanted to review: a low-alcohol cider from Marks & Spencer (M&S)
For newer readers, I am not someone who can enjoy full alcoholic drinks due to a mixture of tasting the underlying alcohol in most things hard and being a lightweight, so my primary way of enjoying drinks like cider is through low/no alcohol variants.
This particular variant is the one I have the easiest access to, with the M&S being fairly local to me – only a ten minute walk there and back at most compared to a near forty minute round trip to get to Asda.
Even for being low alcohol, translating to 0.5% by volume rather than the usual 4-5% that cider normally is, it goes down pretty smoothly. I have an incredibly soft spot for apple cider in particular and this had the perfect blend of sweet & tart flavours for a wind down after the day I have had.
A short review, but I want to get this out today so I can have Day 100 stand alone tomorrow. Thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review, wherever you are I hope you can find the time to relax and enjoy the comforts of your favourite drink.
Good morning glassblowers and potterers, welcome to a catchup post covering days 94 to 98 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
It has been a while, and, I did initially have a post ready to go for Saturday talking about something I was doing over the weekend, which was doing some tidying around my flat, all it needed was a review subject that I was struggling to find so I left it there and instead spent time with some friends catching up & chatting.
But, partway through the conversation, the subject of how I was doing came up, and words spoken ended up hitting me right to my core triggering what I can only really describe as a mental breakdown.
Every barrier and bits of bravado I had shattered, resulting in me crying my eyes out, apologising to my friends before just shutting down mentally, struggling to speak and needing to use Discord to say what my mind was trying to say.
That is one of the reasons I prefer writing as a medium, because I have always found it easier to write out what is on my mind than say it out loud, in both sound & unsound states of mind. My hands can do what my mouth often cannot, which is probably why I find it easy to be somewhat emotionally honest in these pieces.
“Somewhat” being the operative word in that sentence, as that mental breakdown did give me clarity that I had apparently been sitting on a lot more emotions than I realised, and I have honestly been taking the time since to look in the mirror to try reflect on what I am actually feeling currently.
In short… I think it is burnout.
Not just on work.
Not just on hobbies.
But on… life as a whole I guess.
I am someone who tries to push beyond my limits in all instances, and I was suffering greatly for it. It was making my inherent paranoia worse, pushing me to the point of thinking none of my friends actually like me for me, and more like me for what I can do for them, leading me to feeling depressed when I was not able to put on a show.
Additionally, I have not been processing my initial redundancy in a healthy way. For all intents and purposes, it was a traumatic event for me, something that is likely going to be impacting me for a good long while into the future, but at the same time, I have got to try release the hold it has on my outlook on life.
The redundancy was not my fault, and I have come out the other side of it with a few scrapes & bruises, but ultimately alive. Whatever work I do each day to build myself up again is enough, even if it is just showing up for a placeholder post.
It is going to be a long road to recovery from this severe of a burnout, and along the way I feel I might have to completely re-evaluate what direction I am taking to see if changing my path in a way similar to how I did in 2020 might work for me again.
For now:
I am enough.
The work I am doing is enough.
I want to make peace with my past.
I want to build a better future for myself.
Both things should not come at the cost of my mental health.
I have already done so much.
And continuing on in a healthy way will continue to do more for me too.
For anyone reading this, thank you for being along for this journey with me. The schedule has slipped a lot in recent weeks due to conventions and depression, but I still want to be here regardless, writing my story as best I can with the dream of being able to support myself with my writing work.
It will take a long time, but I have faith in myself.
…so anyway, Hololive Tuesday?
In a way it is a happy coincidence I have returned to posting on a Tuesday, especially as yesterday there was a frankly massive lore drop in regards to the two most recent HoloEN groups, Advent and Justice, with a motion comic uploaded to the main Hololive English Youtube channel.
Advent & Justice fans are eating good right now: the amount of collabs between members (including the hilarious recent chess collab), Advent’s five song project detailing their story, and now a fully voice-acted motion comic explaining the former’s time in the cell combined with how the latter interacted with them.
It would have been easy enough for Cover to just upload this as a manga, but the fact all the girls put the effort in to provide voice acting for this shows how dedicated to their craft they all are.
One of the main things I love about this motion comic is that whilst it deals with lore-heavy topics, it never seems too serious, even when resident theatre kid Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame is hamming it up with bombastic speeches about the nature of justice… only to instantly flip into being a complete dork in the next scene, getting flustered by Advent’s antics.
And speaking of Advent’s antics, god do I continue to love their chaotic found family theming. From sharing a room in The Cell to Shiori deciding to orchestrate a grand escape mainly because Bijou wanted to see the outside world, their dynamic continues to feel natural together – a bunch of misfits trying to navigate their way in the world.
One thing I hope definitely gets expanded on in later episodes or the lore in general is getting to see Justice use their weapons and abilities a bit more – especially Raora.
For those unaware, my favourite member of Justice is actually Raora Panthera, the “Artist with the God Eyes”, and I feel that aspect of her is slightly underutilised in the current story context. It is such an interesting idea for an ability and Raora herself has loredumped on Twitter that she is able to open portals for teleportation which sounds like one hell of an ability, so it would be nice to see that implemented in stories.
Of course I love that Liz is still shown using Thorn as her main weapon of choice though, there is something so badass about seeing her wield a weapon that is so clearly designed to be two-handed swung around near effortlessly with one hand, though they did actually show her doing a two-handed slash in the comic.
Plus the end reveal of Liz being the one to be providing Advent with all the comfort and amenities of The Cell is a very cute touch. Just monitoring, innit?
Need a thumbnail now, and well, if you have been around long enough to know what happens when I talk about Advent on Hololive Tuesday, you know who is coming up, plus…
SHE SAID THE THING SHE SAID THE SONG NAME AND THEN IT STARTED PLAYING AAAAAAAA!
*ahem*
I just really love Advent.
Deep self-reflection followed by me gushing about VTubers, even with an inconsistent schedule, the Redundancy Review follows its theme of inconsistent themes consistently… that is a very silly sentence but I love how it reads.
Thank you for reading today’s edition though. Wherever you are I hope you are able to relax and take it easy. If you are struggling yourself with something, do not be like me, reach out to friends and loved ones to find support – it is often closer to home than you think.
Good morning scribes and ghostwriters, welcome to a double feature for Day 92 & 93 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
Feels weird to say but even after returning to normality today by getting back to work, my mind is still dwelling on VExpo and everything I got up to during that time. I find it funny, that even though there was a lot of organisational scuff and my energy did not sustain me as long as I wanted it to; I would still do it all again this weekend.
In a way I am trying to ride the high while attempting to convert post-con depression into post-con motivation. I returned to playing Beat Saber yesterday as a form of exercise and, whilst I am most certainly out of practice, half an hour let me work up a good sweat which should hopefully build into doing more exercise like that in future weeks.
I also find myself being a little bit more aware of my diet, committing to smaller scale lunches than what I would normally eat in the hopes of slowly but surely slimming down my waistline. Whilst I still feel I will not be able to fit into the majority of off-the-shelf cosplays, there will still be some benefit in feeling better in my body wearing whatever custom creations I end up getting, along with fitting into my current wardrobe better.
The main two things I need to keep in mind are:
Progress is slow
Progress is not linear
Or, to borrow a very impactful quote from Bojack Horseman (great series, do not think I can ever rewatch the whole thing):
“It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day, that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”
So long as I can try commit to doing some small amount of exercise each day, I can push myself to being in a better position a few months from now, which should hopefully put me in the best position possible by the time the next VExpo comes around.
Do not think there is much to say beyond what I have said, my mind feels oddly foggy over the last two days and whilst I keep myself moving, I find it hard to write about the last couple of days emotionally – so I am going to jump into the review segment and do a… sort of song review, it is hard to sum up what exactly this classes as.
When I did my initial Helldivers 2 review, I focused primarily on the gameplay loop rather than any of the narrative theming as I wanted to explain the core game succinctly.
Reviewing the Super Earth National Anthem is my way of making up for not talking about the narrative, because the satire of militaristic fascism and how consistent Arrowhead are with making bombastic propaganda is one of the main draws of the game in my opinion.
And “bombastic propaganda” is exactly how I would describe the National Anthem, right from the start it launches into justifying Super Earth’s campaign of liberation:
“Freedom must reign over every last star. Through citizen’s blood spilled in our righteous wars. Honor their deaths, do your part for the cause.”
It is a hilarious juxtaposition within the world, as it acknowledges that the “freedom” that Super Earth brings comes with an inordinate amount of civilian casualties, to the point that accidental civilian deaths in game only account to small fines to the basic currency acquired for completing objectives.
There have been several points in game where a minefield I have placed down has absolutely destroyed a group of civilians and all I get is some requisitions docked and a small reprimand from my Democracy Officer… yes, Democracy Officer, again, this game oozes political satire from every orifice.
And it ramps up even further within the next verses after these ones, but I want to in particular highlight:
“No questions or doubts shall be allowed Traitors will all be disavowed”
Not even just doubts, merely questioning Super Earth is enough to make you a traitor.
Kill a bunch of civilians with a napalm barrage? Slap on the wrist.
Ask why Super Earth’s elite have access to napalm barrages? Face the wall.
I could honestly go through each verse of the anthem and explain the brilliance behind the satire, but I think I can sum up the entire song briefly: it works.
As a piece of propaganda, the Super Earth National Anthem works because, despite the horror of the lyrics, it makes me feel patriotic to Super Earth and makes me want to dive on the fascist bugs, the socialist bots, and the xenophobic squids…
…I initially did have a screengrab from the video itself prepared as the thumbnail, as I usually do, but I had a brainwave as I was writing that previous paragraph and, as the song says, anything less will not suffice.
I am most certainly not immune to propaganda, but so long as it is only fictional nations that I am falling under the sway of, I think I should be fine.
That will do it all for today, thank you for reading this, as usual, emotionally confusing edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are I hope you can find some time to relax, the weekend is not that far away so I know you can make it.
Good morning axolotls and mudpuppies, welcome to Day 91 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
With my writeup done yesterday and now fully situated back at home… yeah, the post-con depression is starting to creep in. VExpo was possibly the full highlight of my year despite all of the complications leading up to it in regards to cosplay and some of the organisational slip ups the convention itself had, and now to be back to normality is… kind of rough feeling.
A lot of people read my writeup yesterday too, which is really sweet to see. I want to try use that positive energy VExpo gave me to keep trying to improve myself, because now I have truly had a taste of life on the outside again and god fucking damnit if I do not want more experiences like that.
Which y’know, is kind of the right energy to take away from something like this, and part of my logic is that I am pretty much exhausted every weekend anyway, so why not just be exhausted at a convention? Especially with the fact I want to turn the red dress I wore on the Saturday of VExpo into carrying even more plushies to make it almost like an ita dress but full of plushies instead.
Helps to keep track of them too, since they are pretty much always facing front I do not have to worry too much about someone coming up to try swipe one – though I should probably invest in a decent carry bag anyway if I want to carry any larger ones around on show.
The next potential event I could go to is London or Birmingham MCM, my usual old convention haunts from the before times (meaning pre-COVID), with London being near the end of October, and Birmingham being at the end of November. Both of them are pretty tempting options even though I do not really gel with the structure of MCM-style conventions in the UK, though, there is still one prevailing issue…
Funds.
Whilst I am currently in relatively stable work, I know at any moment I could be back to being in the shit once more and that makes me a little risk averse when it comes to making big ventures out, especially to events that I do not feel 100% on.
It is also a balancing act, cause I would love to go to more events, but I also want to go to those events in cosplay, and support artists, and treat them like holidays, but doing all of those things on top of event and travel expenses make the margins tight, especially in my current position.
So what does this mean?
Need to work harder obviously.
Falling into complacency was something I did a lot prior to my redundancy, of accepting my status quo and struggling to change. For the sake of my future security and to get the ability to go to more events, I cannot allow myself to fall back into that.
And if you agree with that you should consider hiring me for some writing work!
(god that was cheesy as fuck)
But genuinely, I am proving myself with writing every day. My VExpo writeup was near 7000 words done in approximately four hours with images, social media linking, and detailed back research on social channels to make sure all my information was correct.
I want to write.
I want to earn my way through writing.
And I want to write my story across multiple events for the foreseeable future, or until my body finally gives up the ghost.
With that call to action done, time to head into the review segment, and well… it feels kind of weird to do a Hololive Tuesday right after doing a giant convention write up, but I think this will be a good opportunity to highlight some of the artists I bought from over the weekend, starting with Mercury Designs with this gorgeous Nerissa Ravencraft acrylic standee.
For brief VTuber context, Nerissa Ravencroft is a part of Hololive English Generation 3 “Advent”, which is my all time favourite group of virtual people – and being honest, initially I was not all that interested in Nerissa as a talent, especially when looking at the other members of Advent.
But over time, her streams and actions slowly started carving a place in my heart for her, to the point now where I have considered cosplaying both of her outfits at one point in time, partially because it is a character where my actual height would lend to it extremely well.
Anyway, back on track with the art.
When I was browsing the VExpo art catalogue they posted, Mercury Designs was one that caught my eye, though it was actually for a Cecilia Immergreen standee than anything else, and during one of my artist alley walks I remember seeing it and having something click in my brain like “Oh yeah I was supposed to check these guys out”.
And whilst the Cecilia caught my eye once more, something about the composition of the Nerissa standee just looks so elegant, with the back piece of acrylic giving it an almost magical look to it. For £25 as well it is a solid price to support a small artist, and this is not including the fact I walked away with two A5 prints and a bunch of stickers from them too.
A shorter review than yesterday, but, I do not think anything will top yesterday for a long while. Thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review, wherever you are I hope you are able to take things easy today. I am going to continue letting my legs recover from VExpo.
For more information on Mercury Designs and to purchase from their shop, visit the link here: Mercury Designs UK – Shop
Good morning collies and sheep, welcome to a megapost covering several days of VExpo for the Redundancy Review.
My arse is now firmly planted back down on my sofa which means one thing only: I have returned from my convention trip at VExpo, and in short…
Holy shit I had the best time of my life I want to do this again and interact with way more people it felt so fucking good to actually leave my hole to talk to others in this setting again.
So yeah, I had a great time, and I want to write a full recap of everything I got up to because there were memorable experiences, amazing artists & cosplayers, and unsurprisingly for a convention all about VTubers, a fair amount of scuff when it came to organisation.
Little bit of expectation setting to help contextualise my review, recap, and thoughts before we get into it:
This is my first convention in six years, so I am a little unfamiliar with how the circuit works nowadays
This is my first in-person VTuber event ever, so whilst I read a lot about other cons online, my IRL perspective is entirely fresh
I am one socially awkward fucker, so when it came to taking pictures with people I might have forgotten to ask their name/handle… or even tell them mine in some instances. I am adding tags when I can but no guarantees
I did not eat entirely right during the duration of this trip, which definitely made my experience worse in some regards but is entirely my fault
Time to start, let us leave no stone unturned as we head straight into:
Thursday, which was Day -1, I guess
My convention weekend started on the Thursday, with me working briefly in the morning before heading on to the train with my partner to head over to the NEC. Fun tidbit, my partner has never actually been to the whole NEC complex before while I am quite familiar from previous convention trips, so it was quite cute seeing him be in awe of the scale of the place.
Once I had whipped him around the centre, we went to our hotel which was conveniently located a stone’s throw away from the piazza entrance: Moxy.
I had booked this all the way back in February, knowing that VExpo was going to be my one big trip this year and I wanted a hotel close to the convention grounds, with Moxy definitely fulfilling the criteria. It was definitely a little on the pricey side for four nights, the rate being about £116 a night for the Thursday/Friday and about £140 a night for the Saturday/Sunday, coming to a total of £617.08 for the entire stay.
The most expensive part of the weekend as a whole, but considering how much my partner and I ended up going to/from the hotel over the weekend, having that as convenience was more than worth the price.
Plus as the photo dump is going to show, we had a great view of Pendigo Lake from our window.
After taking some time to rest and unpack our stuff, we went over to Resorts World, as I had only been once and my partner had never been. As we entered we were both taken aback by the scale of things, going up to the first floor where we noticed a guy from a distance wearing a Ceres Fauna bag.
I was a bit nervous to approach, but that is why I have my partner as the extrovert who adopted me, so he went up to initiate the conversation. Started talking about the merch he had on and it was only after he showed the Gigi Murin plush in the bag that things started to click in my brain.
“Wait a minute… you’re Aaron from HUKEC right?” (HUKEC stands for “Hololive UK Enthusiasts Community”, I am going to be using this acronym a lot)
It was, and we shared an amazing sort of manly handshake. The con had not even started properly, and I had already met someone new that I was familiar with. Thank you Aaron (@musclesap on Twitter) and your friend Alex for being the first conversation we had and for being the first of many to listen to my cosplay horror story.
Parting ways with those awesome people, we continued to wander around Resorts World, coming across the Hollywood Bowl arcade where we could have spent an inordinate amount of time and money, especially given the fact there was a Halo: Fireteam Raven arcade booth.
I played one quick round with a stray pound coin I found in a change giver that had seemingly been abandoned and got a decent distance, but considering some of the other booths here, this is definitely a place I want to return to.
When it came to food, I had one place fixated on my mind. A place I had not been to in over a year and one I regard as an old friend, even if the quality is not that great: Five Guys.
Are there way better options for burgers in this world? Yes
Were there way better options for burgers within Resorts World itself? Definitely
But something hits different about the foil wrapped delights of a Five Guys, plus I am extremely glad to see that they are still using fresh jalapenos whenever those are placed on to a burger, something that delivers a deliciously spicy kick with each bite. It is also good to see you still get an inordinate amount of fries with each order. Between two burgers, two “little” fries, and two freestyle drinks (of which I had like four), the total came to £42.90. Not terrible all things considered, and actually the cheapest evening meal of the weekend.
After eating we explored Resorts World a little bit longer, reuniting with Alex and Aaron to finish off our exploration with a short chat as we walked back to our respective hotels before my partner and I retreated to our hotel room to relax for the evening.
This version of events does not include the several people we ran into as we explored around and chatted to about VTubers and life, including one guy who I now know to be @Nostroscythe on Twitter giving us a great conversation with a beautiful message of “Live Hard, Love Hard”. I do not think we gave you our names properly dude, but you left an impact on myself and my partner.
(also I am like 90% convinced Obkatiekat was in the mix of that group as well and I only twigged that upon seeing a picture of them later, inches away from greatness without even realising)
The rest of the evening was uneventful, with me casting my phone to the hotel TV to watch Hololive VODs and clips whilst my partner went out to meet other HUKEC people at Karaage in Resorts World – thanks for taking care of him everyone.
So yeah, Day -1 of VExpo was eventful as hell and we have not even hit the main meat of the event and I have already written close to 1300 words this is going to be a long-ass writeup.
With that, we move into:
Friday, Dawn of Day 0
Friday came around, and after much needed warm showers & shaves, we headed out to the Wetherspoons in the piazza where we linked up with people from HUKEC having breakfast, I ordered a simple sausage butty which I added mustard to, though this was the most substantial breakfast I ate all weekend.
We talked about all manner of different things, our oshi, card games of all descriptions, F1, told my cosplay horror story once more – that last one did lead to a wonderful-if-maybe-unintentional compliment from a guy named Wes (@RacingGuyRyS on Twitter) when I double-checked with people that they knew what Shiori Novella looks like.
“Yeah she kind of dresses like you but different”
It was so off-the-cuff but so sweet, thank you dude for hanging with me and my partner.
After sitting and chatting for a bit we went back to the hotel to rest before going out to explore once more, eventually being merged into a large blob of other congoers going towards badge pickup, where I met a fellow Takodachi who complimented my Ina bag… before raising the stakes by showing me both his Takodachi tattoo and his Ina Ita Flag. I am so sorry I never got your name properly friend, but you were one of the (many) highlights of my weekend.
We arrived at badge pickup early, and waited around for a short bit for the queue to open, during which we met a wonderful Coco cosplayer (who I am really sorry I did not get your name) who I took a photo with and told my cosplay horror story, starting a wonderful trend over the weekend that whenever I showed a cosplayer the pictures, they went through the five stages of grief in rapid succession.
Badge pickup was also where we made another friend for the weekend, MurasakiTheGreat (same name on Twitch), due to the blahaj sticking out of their bag. They ended up becoming a recurring fixture in our weekend and were great company for me during the opening concert.
However, once badge pickup started, that is where the dreaded scuff started to creep in.
For the queue myself, Murasaki, and my partner were in for general entry, it moved pretty smoothly, and we ended up getting our badges & tickets relatively smoothly within half an hour… this was not the case for the Akasupa line, who were experiencing two hour waits as standard, due to scanner issues requiring manual data entry.
On top of this, there was additional scuff in the form of opening concert tickets initially not being given out as part of badge pickup, requiring myself to go back to pick them up from a different queue… where the badge pickup queue itself was massive due to the scanner issue.
Technical difficulties are a given, and as a QA I can relate to equipment failure, but communication on this issue could definitely be improved, especially as poor Mimi’s voice was definitely difficult to hear over the commotion sometimes. I am not sure if the NEC staff would have allowed a megaphone, but the addition of one would definitely have helped crowd control to a degree.
And on top of all this, there was additional scuff when it came about that they had run out of physical opening concert tickets to give to attendees, leading to them writing on “O.C.” on badges. This is definitely something I think needs to be fixed for next year, it is a nice touch to give out physical tickets as a souvenir but requiring the physical ticket for entry when it should also be tied to the badge I feel caused a fair bit of friction.
Anyway, doing a photo dump of all my badge related photos before we get into talking about the opening concert.
And can’t forget Pizza Express dinner even though I almost did:
Once 8pm came around, we were allowed into the opening concert and took our seats, my company for the evening being my new friend Murasaki. And for all the issues I personally had with badge pickup and all the issues I saw with Akasupas… this was an amazing opening show, and for someone who has been craving a return to live music, I could not have asked for a better show that relates to my interest.
(concert photos I took are definitely scuffed, and it does not seem like there is a VOD available on their channel, so hopefully I can recount the story well enough)
It started off with a wotagei performance by Aniwaza Team, who opened with Connect the World by HololiveEN… a damn surefire way to get my hype up for certain as I was singing along to every word and having the time of my life. Wotagei performances have definitely interested me, and this team being the opening act was a great introduction – the energy was fantastic.
After that, we had a full setlist from Phoebe Chan, the 2.5D idol, who did a frankly inspired performance of her “splitting” between a 2D model and her… 3D(?) person with them singing together for a good few songs. We actually talked to her about this performance at her meet & greet and she said it took a lot of rehearsal.
In general her performance was extremely meaningful to me, speaking a lot to the journey I have been on myself this year, and I am not ashamed to admit I nearly cried during some of the songs. It was absolutely fantastic, and I am so glad this show introduced me to Phoebe Chan.
I have to give a shout out to her performance of Renai Circulation though, it was an absolutely fantastic rendition of a well-known song within nerd communities as a whole but including both Space Jam and All Star in the middle of it was absolutely hilarious, catching me off guard and putting the biggest dumbest smile on my face.
Following Phoebe, we had a VTuber named Hiwamari on stage, performing a short setlist of three songs including one entirely in French which I think she said was from Genshin Impact around Fontaine? I will admit now to not really taking notes during the performance, only taking photos of talents before going back to enjoying the music.
Not much to say about her, but I definitely enjoyed the performance even if I was not massively following what was going on.
Up next, we had two performers from Phase Connect: Jelly Hoshiumi and Komachi Panko. I honestly cannot remember what they sang but I still remember enjoying it. I think that is the true joy of the opening concert for me and what I missed a lot about live music, because I used to find a lot of cool bands through support acts back in the day, and even if I do not fully know who people are, I will still vibe and sing along to my best ability.
After the Phase Connect people, we had Miori Celesta on stage, doing a short but sweet setlist of bardcore-inspired songs, which included a beautiful version of Scarborough Fair which she asked people to check out on Youtube, so I will include the link to that video as well.
Following her, there was a performance from three members of V4Mirai: Kou Mariya, REM Kanashibari, and someone who might be on her way to becoming a favourite of mine purely on aesthetics alone, Dr.NOVA(e). Unfortunately I also cannot fully remember what each individual member sang, but I do remember what the three of them sang together at the end…
…I do not recall the last time I sang along to Baby One More Time by Britney Spears but goddamnit if singing along to that with three beautiful VTubers performing it on stage was not one of the main highlights of my weekend. I will definitely be trying to find some time to see what the good doctor is up to in the future.
Moving on, after that we had Bonnie Barkswell and Reina Ronronea from Globie, with one song from Bonnie specifically staying in my mind because it was “Ahoy!!” by Houshou Marine, one of my all time favourite HoloJP originals and my first time ever doing the call & response section with a live crowd.
Holy crap what an experience. It felt so fucking cool to be cheering along with a song I have known for so long with a crowd cheering with me.
And finally, we have the final act, and the performer I was most looking forward to seeing perform given she had promised non-stop dad rock: the independent and resilient Matara Kan.
Even outside of my admiration for the giant cockroach, her setlist aligned perfectly with a good deal of my own musical taste. Green Day, Blink-182, Nickleback, My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park – she was going through all the hits of classic Guitar Hero and despite the butterflies in her stomach, I loved every minute of her performance and sang along with everything I knew.
Plus it was really sweet of her to dedicate her final song to her favourite, now-graduated, VTuber. I am sure wherever Nina Kosaka is now she would have loved that performance.
And with that, the opening concert came to a close. My arms were dead, my legs were dead, but surprisingly my voice was still holding up. Upon returning to the hotel and consuming a CBD gummy, it apparently took all of five minutes for me to go to sleep, giving me plenty of rest for…
Saturday: The Main Event
We woke up relatively early for a Saturday and started to get ready. Unrelated to anything in the convention, god it feels nice to not have to worry about hot water running out with a hotel shower so I could take extremely long showers compared to what I do at home.
I am actually very proud of my Saturday fit in all honesty, the stompers were a vibe as always, and the fact I was able to hook some of my plushies on small chains onto the corset D-rings of my dress let me represent some of my favourites without cosplaying – plus this outfit definitely has the vibes of Shiori’s detective outfit which is great.
My partner and I walked over to the convention to get let in shortly after we arrived, before instantly splitting up. He wanted to explore around, and I wanted to hit Artist Alley where I almost instantly bought two A4 prints from an artist called SnipSnip Studio… it kind of helped they were cosplaying Shiori so I was able to tell them my story, thanks for listening!
But then I instantly got distracted as I had noticed a Helldiver cosplay, and I knew I wanted to get a photo… not before engaging in a silly bit of roleplay though, because as soon as I got his attention I gave him the casual salute, and he reciprocated near instantly. I am so sorry I did not get your name, but thanks for taking a photo with me.
After leaving artist alley there was the Baka Itasha display with three gorgeous cars on display, one representing IRyS of HoloEN, one representing Dokibird of Independent, and the one I took… basically all of my photos of, representing Ninomae Ina’nis of HoloEN. I definitely regret not getting proper photos taken of all of them, and not taking photos of me with them.
I also took in the scale of the event after these photos. It has been an extremely long time since I have done anything like that, and the fact I was able to even stand in the hall after the shit year I have had made me so extremely happy… if a touch overwhelmed at times… okay I was a touch overwhelmed for the entire event but I still made the most of it!
Reunited with my partner near the entrance, I encountered someone I had in my mind that I wanted to meet: a cosplayer called Julibee I follow on Twitter. I told her my cosplay story and watched her process what I had just showed her along with the price I had paid before talking about if she knew any seamstress and finishing things off with a photo. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me, you looked amazing in your Marine cosplay and I hope we get to meet again some day.
My partner and I went for a wander afterwards, only to run into Merryweather walking around in his suit and fursuit head. I imagined it would be quite sweltering for him but as we were talking he was actively needing to air out the head and put a fan next to his mouth to help keep him cool. I did not get to say as much as I wanted to say to him, especially as a fellow writer, but thank you for taking a photo with me. I hope to see you again soon.
We continued to wander around taking in the sights and sound of the convention until I noticed a pair of cosplayers I had also wanted to say hi to, CloverClub and Nocte. I was admittedly a little awkward talking to them cause Clover did ask me to repeat myself when I was recounting my cosplay story, but thank you both for taking a photo with me. You looked amazing and, like with so many other cosplayers I took photos with, I hope to see you again some day.
After this, we decided to kill time until one of the few things my partner wanted to do came up, which was Phoebe Chan doing her meet & greet to the side of the main meeting space. We actually arrived as her and her manager Steiner were setting up her table, so we chatted briefly as that went on where I got to compliment her set. My partner bought one of her penlights whilst I bought her album and got it signed.
Especially with what you wrote Phoebe, I want to meet you again. It was an amazing time getting to talk to you and the words you said to my partner were inspiring.
With that wrapped up, we decided to return to the hotel for a short bit where any reasonable personwould have chosen to have a proper lunch in that moment especially considering there was the HUKEC meetup and my meet & greet with Matara coming up in the afternoon, but nope, Huel and a few doritos it was… next time definitely need to bring some proper snacks.
We rested for around three-quarters of an hour before heading back out towards the HUKEC meetup just outside the atrium, and… there is so much to talk about here so I will try my best to keep it concise holy shit I am writing so much I need to go on convention trips more often.
Across the near hour I was at the meetup for, I:
Talked to a bunch of new people I had never properly met before, including the Supreme Leader Boyfriend John
Took part in the HUKEC group photo
Gave a try at the HUKEC beanbag toss
Wrote a message for the HUKEC chain (I wish I got a picture of what I wrote, but I will explain it after)
Took photos with a bunch of cool cosplayers who I only got the name of one of
Got given a bunch of Hololive Card Game cards by a guy called Archie thank you so much again dude that was fucking insane and they will be put to good use
I will admit there was a time I was on the sidelines and I came close to crying, not from sadness or feeling overwhelmed (much), but just from sheer… positivity and inclusiveness, which got reflected in the message I wrote for the chain.
“Thank you for making my world less lonely – Rosa”
In general, I think those words sum up how the VTubing world as a whole makes me feel, especially with post-VExpo emotions. It was so amazing to meet so many independent VTubers along with fans of corpo VTubers, and I felt like I belonged regardless of who I was.
Anyway, HUKEC photo dump incoming. The Nakiri Ayame cosplayer is called Kat, but I did not get the names of the Gigi, Nimi, or Dr Fubuki cosplayers – my apologies to all.
My partner was pretty exhausted afterwards, so we did one more quick whip around the convention hall before I was going to walk him home. As we did so, we saw someone who I now know is called The Memestar queueing for a meet & greet carrying a 3D printed replica of the WunderWaffe from Call of Duty: World At War.
So we obviously had to get photos of him, and he very graciously let my partner who was leading the conversation hold it too. Very lovely to talk to you dude, especially as you were queueing at the time.
We walked back to the hotel, where I left my partner to rest whilst I returned for my meet & greet with Matara.
Now.
ANY REASONABLE PERSON would have changed out of the big heavy stompers she had been wearing for seven hours at this point and change into more comfortable shoes, especially as she was aware of the blisters forming on the back of her feet, but nope, I walked back to the hall in the stompers and queued for nearly two hours in them as well.
Thankfully I did have a nice distraction whilst queueing in the form of brilliant conversation with someone called ShizukaSilent and someone else who I once again did not get the name of, but thank you both for talking with me in the queue, and extra thanks to Shizuka for letting me take a 3D printed desk buddy mascot.
The queue came and went, and soon I was getting ready to meet Matara. I had in my mind what I was going to ask and talk about: considering her opening concert set was essentially a greatest hits of Guitar Hero, I wanted to ask her about if she considered adding Dragonforce into the mix.
That said, all composure went straight out the window the moment I walked in to the booth and the first words out of her mouth were:
“Ooo, you’re stylish”.
And followed up with:
“Rosa, oh that’s a beautiful name”.
I became a spluttering mess after that point, this beautiful and resilient person who I had just spent two hours queueing for complimented me incredibly sincerely and whilst I did get my question out and we chatted about Guitar Hero, I was so overwhelmed with happiness of getting to talk to her and say how inspiring she was to me.
I am holding a plushie up cause I got a little self-conscious about my smile by this point in the weekend, but I hope my cheeks show that I am absolutely over the moon right now. After finishing up I went to get my pen plotter gift as part of this meet, and was incredibly surprised with how the system worked… that said, there was a fair bit of scuff surrounding that too, but I will not dwell on it here because of the positive vibes.
By the way, your handwriting is beautiful Matara, and I am so happy to have this as a memory of our meeting.
Now, it was close to 8pm by the time I had finished my meet & greet and got my pen plotter gift, I had been in stompers for close to nine hours, and I was in abject agony. This presented a small problem, as I had booked a ticket to go see Idol Anarchy, the premium rock concert as part of the convention.
But I was tired, hungry, and in a lot of pain, so as we were leaving I asked a staff member if it was possible to give away my ticket. They came back and said it was, we just had to find someone…
…and there was a convenient Murasaki by the entrance who was happy to accept the ticket. Again, it was great meeting you friendo, and I hope you enjoyed the concert.
Free of responsibility and able to take the evening a bit more easy, my partner and I went to TGIFridays for a fantastic meal to finish off the day, an experience made even better with the energy of our waiter Dan that night. An absolute delight to be around which made the first solid food I hate eaten in almost eleven hours taste so much better.
We walk back to the hotel, and get into the lift with two other people from the convention. We strike up a conversation, and I think I am just chatting with two other attendees so I start talking about my meet with Matara.
And then I get hit with a bombshell.
“I’m Dokibird’s manager”
You’re fucking who?!
I might not have been able to win tickets for Doki’s meet & greet, but honestly, I think I got the next best thing in getting to meet Doki’s manager. We did get a photo together and whilst he did say that Doki technically doxxed him that day, I am not going to post it here. It is a little scuffed and I kind of want to keep this fun little memory to myself.
He did give me his card though, and this is a perfect physical reminder of that beautiful, random meeting after a long exhausting convention day.
Did not take long for me to get back to sleep, which leads us into…
Sunday Sunday Sunday
Sunday was a much calmer day, if by force because of how much physical pain I was in due to my own stupidity being in stomper boots for nine hours, and I had two meet & greets booked almost back to back with Elia Stellaria and Rin Penrose. Did not get a proper fit picture this day but it was a simple affair of representing two of my HoloJP oshi with a Shirakami Fubuki t-shirt and Shishiro Botan hoodie.
Unrelated, there was also a test of the UK emergency alert system happening at 3pm the same day, and the running joke throughout the day was calling it the “tea alarm”. Thankfully I was not a meet & greet by the time the alarm went off, but it was fun to discuss it whilst in the queue.
My partner went to a panel talking about the initial VTuber boom of 2020, whilst I was taking things a bit easier just wandering around both the regular and 18+ artist alley before finding a quiet spot to rest outside the convention… which did mean missing the absolutely hilarity of Merryweather coming over the tannoy which was apparently broadcast to every security personnel in the NEC.
I was given permission to announce me and Lumi's vtuber quiz, but due to a miscommunication it went through the emergency broadcast system. Apparently we deafened the entire vtuber concert hall, peaked every microphone on site, and blasted through the headphones of every security… pic.twitter.com/MV0TUUiKhO
It was so fucking funny to see if hindsight, especially with him coming on a second time to say he was not allowed to swear, so I am very glad it is immortalised on Twitter.
Once it came close to my meet & greet times, I decided to queue for Elia first and then loop round to Rin, which was definitely the right decision as I was able to double stack them near perfectly. I do have some issues with how the queue system was handled once again, but I will keep it to an ending scuff recap.
I will admit to only being a recent fan of Elia, mainly loving her aesthetic leading into researching her, and applying for her meet & greet on the off chance I got it… and I did, and it was actually one of the sweetest experiences I had over the weekend.
The moment I walked in she highlighted the fact I was carrying a plushie – a blahaj no less as I wanted to bring one of mine to meet Rin, and I just went with it, holding it up in front of me and waving with its fin. I talked about being a new fan and then led in with my question I wanted to ask her: what is her favourite cozy snack?
She went into full detail of whether we were going sweet or savoury, and it was absolutely adorable seeing her giving me every bit of info, where I eventually settled that I was going to get cookies after the convention as part of my wind-down, leading to the message she wrote on my pen plotter gift.
“You can have all my cookies”.
It is such a personal message, and combined with the fact she gave out little gift bags with her meet as well has cemented me as a firm Elia fan for the future.
I left Elia’s booth and instantly joined the queue for Rin Penrose, unsurprisingly I was not the only person carrying a blahaj with me. That said, it was certainly not seen as a detriment, as the friend to all plushies commented on it instantly as I walked in, saying “I see a shark”, which led nicely into my explaining that I had brought him for a blessing… leading to this wonderful exchange between us.
Me: “His name is Oculus”
Rin: “HIS NAME IS OCULUS!”
Me: “He lives on my work background”
Rin: “HE LIVES ON YOUR WORK BACKGROUND”
And that silly little guy energy carried throughout the entire meet, especially as they talked about rickrolling the Big British Concert audience before laughing maniacally, refuting my claim with “I’m just a little guy”, leading us to debate whether one can be both a little guy and evil before finishing off with a photo. I gave a bow to my prince before leaving to join the pen plotter line.
It took another three-quarters of an hour after queueing for almost two hours to get my final two pen plotters, but with that, my convention weekend was over. I left the hall to go find a quiet place to sit whilst my partner queued up to claim their pen plotter from Limealicious.
I initially did almost go back in to impulse buy some final merch from artist alley, but at a few minutes past five they told me the hall was closed to new entry – which was fully understandable, but it would have been nice to have this advertised on the Discord or Twitter in advance.
Once we had both finished our day, we went back to the hotel and decided: fuck it, we wanted to come home. We checked out of our hotel early and made the trek to the station home, with it only taking just over an hour to get back to comfy beds, familiar territory, and a greasy ass takeaway.
Before I get into discussing what was scuffed in terms of organisation, I want to preface: this was one of the best experiences I had in my life, especially after the year I have had. To hang around with VTuber fans and VTubers, to share my story with people, and to enjoy a wonderful weekend away, I could not have asked for a better time.
And I will be returning next year, as I want to continue being involved with the VTuber community as a whole within the UK and EU, but there are definitely some things I would want to see fixed/adjusted for next year.
Scuff
The main thing I would like to see adjusted for next year is better utilisation of the hall space along with implementing strong crowd control measures for queues across the venue. Initially I was floating the idea of suggesting that VExpo branch out across two halls but I think that would be a little excessive… unless the internal data suggests they could fill two halls in which case I am happy to be wrong.
But in general, I feel the meet & greet space could have been better spread out. Queues got extremely long, winding, and cramped throughout the weekend and having more distinct space for people to queue in would be helpful – this was especially prevalent queueing for Elia’s meet as we were within hugging distance of Vexoria’s meet.
Great for conversation, but it definitely made things feel extremely cramped at points.
Additionally, and it seems there is a lot of discussion in the Discord about this anyway, but the system for retrieving the pen plotter gifts was extremely flawed as it was stacking queues on top of queues, made worse so by the fact that only two pen plotters were running across the weekend. In VExpo’s defense, this is the first year they are running this system, so having the capacity and scale right first time was never going to happen, but if this system returns next year, they either need to massively scale up how many are running at any given time, or as they are discussing right now in the Discord, sending out pen plotters at a later date.
I am also not entirely sure if I want to call this next point “scuff” given it can very much be seen as a skill issue, but the necessity to queue for me – especially on the Sunday – made it hard to enjoy other programming at the convention, and I know I am not entirely alone in that feeling, especially considering some of the main stage panels on Sunday got knock on delayed because of issues over in the meet & greets.
It definitely would be nice to have experienced more of the convention, especially as I was initially very excited to try do the Balatro event on the activity stage but it clashed with both my meet & greet times, definitely some amount of skill issue at play there but still a bit of feedback to give.
If the internal data does show a second hall being viable, having the gaming area being expanded would be quite nice as well, along with having some dedicated events at the convention. With Hololive Card Game taking off in the UK quite well I can foresee a tournament taking place, plus if there were casual commander pods going on for Magic: the Gathering and I… somehow had a calm schedule, I could see myself jamming a game or two in.
TL;DR in case anyone from VExpo is actually reading (in which case holy shit I have made it): logistics and organisation were my main issue, there is only so much that Mimi shouting is able to do especially when technology is failing, communication and crowd control would very much be appreciated to keep things running smoothly next time.
Conclusion
This is the longest thing I have written in years goddamn. VExpo was a hell of a time for me, and that is with missing out on a lot of other small details such as being given business cards by so many indie VTubers who told me what their niche is, and the fun random conversations about video/card games I had every day.
Next year I definitely want to be better. I most definitely want to cosplay next year as well, and not having to deal with getting fucked around with commissions, and I want to push myself to be involved in more of the events as well…
…plus Hololive maybe I do not know maybe you could convince Liz to come along but that is wishful thinking. If VExpo 2026 was just more of 2025 with better organisation then I think I will still have a wonderful time.
Anyway, time to post just a small snapshot of my merch haul from the weekend, there is a lot of other stuff off to the side as well but this is the main bulk of what came from the artists.
Close to seven-thousand words in four hours… I think that is a record for me in terms of writing, and I feel I am still missing a bunch of stuff.
But I feel I should wrap up, if just because finishing off this recap will put a full stop on my weekend and I can start processing the post-con depression because I definitely feel that is going to hit hard.
If you have read all this way, then thank you. This is a long ass piece to read and I do not blame you if you needed to read it in bursts. The Redundancy Review should return to some kind of scheduled normality, and my written journey shall continue for the foreseeable future.
Rosalia Rambles 