Rosalia Rambles

Tag: mental-health

  • Redundancy Review: Day 41, “Damn Gubbermint”

    Redundancy Review: Day 41, “Damn Gubbermint”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning senators and representatives, welcome to Day 41 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    As your standard left-wing trans girl, I do not have a very high opinion of the UK government (what a topic to start Monday morning am I right?). This dislike comes from a wide variety of factors, some of which might be too heavy to discuss in an easy-reading blog series, but today is going to start with a micro-rant against Universal Credit.

    Universal Credit is the main benefit you can claim in the UK when unemployed or going through hardship, it was created with the intent of combining several other benefits in the UK to streamline the system with people not having to process multiple different claims for benefits.

    Having been through the system twice myself, once in 2020 after graduating university and from June 2024 onwards as part of a joint claim with my partner which then translated into me dealing with the system in regards to my redundancy…

    I cannot stand the fucking process of Universal Credit and the Jobcentre.

    Over the last year or so, my partner and I have had to deal with all manner of different crises in claiming. From degrading interviews with people who do not fully understand or care to understand our circumstances, to the system being incredibly obtuse and plagued with IT issues at every turn, this process has been exhausting.

    But it would all be worth it, right? You deal with stressful interviews and jumping through constant hoops in exchange for extra money to help with bills, right?

    Wrong.

    Over the last year, we have received a pittance due to the benefit being means-tested, meaning it reduces as income is made and is deducted based on your savings as well, punishing you for being smart with money and building a nest egg. This tapered off our UC by an insane amount due to my salary and savings at the time, with it going completely to zero once my partner got into work.

    That makes sense though, right? We were both in work, so it would make sense that it tapers off to nothing as we were both making enough – and yeah, that is right for the time we were both employed.

    But from the moment of my redundancy, Universal Credit and the Jobcentre have not helped me in the fucking slightest. Due to fuckiness with payroll being run in error by the administration company, we got nothing for the month of June, and then with my statutory payments coming through, we have received nothing for July as well.

    Again, it makes sense, payments taper off with earnings. What pisses me off here though is that I got no fucking support from the Jobcentre at all outside of two short JSA meetings, which, yes, I was able to demonstrate I was capable of searching for work on my own, I had a fully capable CV that listed all my accomplishments, and I was aware of every website you could search for a job on.

    I felt let down all the same, because I had already felt like my world had collapsed inwards with my redundancy, and the near-complete apathy I received from the system pained me even further.

    To bring… some semblance of balance to this rant, I know the people who work in the Jobcentre are quite literally doing their jobs. It is not their fault they are trying to navigate an unfair system as well, and whilst I railed against them not caring about circumstances, they have a limited number of time per case – they do not have the bandwidth to learn each one in detail.

    Which just exposes the problems in the system more. The people who are there to help others navigate through it do not have the time to know each claimant, to understand their circumstances, and to give them the right guidance they need based on who they are.

    And with my contracting role due to pay me for the next assessment period, we are still unlikely to receive anything from UC, but we are still expected to play the games and jump through the hoops.

    So, yeah, I am in a bit of a rough mood this morning due to government bullshit, and considering I have to call up HMRC to try to get my self-employment status sorted, my mood is probably not going to improve.

    God after that rant I need to talk about something cute and calming or else I am going to burst a damn blood vessel.

    I know the perfect thing!

    Cinnabunny is a cozy farming & baking game released in February 2025, so a fairly recent addition to my library all things considered. It is very easy to compare it to Stardew Valley in terms of game mechanics:

    • You grow crops
    • You use those crops to make things
    • You can sell those things or gift them to other villagers
    • You can explore caves and forests to find other collectibles

    Except the difference is that every character is a bunny in this game.

    As someone who loves bunnies as animals in general and has put in an unreasonable amount of time into playing Stardew across multiple saves, this seemed like the perfect game for me. Whilst I did have some troubles initially getting used to how the camera works in this game, I have found myself thoroughly enjoying it.

    Out of the mechanics I have explored so far, this definitely does feel like a simplified version of Stardew Valley in some areas. For example, the mining mechanic is way less in-depth than in Stardew, with you only really having two types of mineral to mine – that being regular salt and pink salt. This makes sense in the context of the game, as why would a bakery bunny need anything beyond that, but it would have been nice to get some extra depth beyond that.

    The true depth of the game comes in the baking mechanics, and by extension, the gifting mechanics. At the start of the game you are only able to make flatbread, and unlike Stardew where new machines/tools are unlocked by levelling up your skills, Cinnabunny instead prioritises learning about the other NPCs likes and dislikes to give them “loved gifts”.

    Loved gifts will unlock new recipes, bakery equipment, and upgrades to existing equipment with each unique one gifted. Learning what each bunny likes is also a more involved process than in Stardew, as you will be required to give gifts and then read the bunny’s dialogue to understand what flavours, shapes, or baked goods they love. This can then be recorded in your journal to reference at any time in your pursuit of true bunny friendship.

    Whilst I wish for more depth in some of the mechanics in this game, it is actually a refreshing change of pace to have something more relaxed compared to Stardew… which sounds weird, let me explain.

    As someone who did a Perfection save on Stardew 1.5, I know a lot about the game, perhaps too much. This leads me to know the optimal plays in most new saves, and feeling in a rush to do things properly so I can unlock even more new things to get my farm up to spec.

    But with Cinnabunny, there is a certain peace that comes from not knowing anything at all combined with the simpler mechanics. All I need to do is focus on baking things and exploring, it helps me zen a lot more than Stardew does.

    Cinnabunny is one of my games installed for my upcoming ten hour coach trip to Glasgow at the end of the week, and I very much look forward to playing it to pass the time.

    Thank you for reading this bizarre mix of anti-government ranting and chill game easy reading. I hope the Monday blues are not too harsh for you and you can get through whatever work you need to do easily.

    For more information on Cinnabunny, visit its Steam page here: Cinnabunny on Steam

  • Redundancy Review: Day 40, “Sleeping In”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning sleepers and dreamers, welcome to Day 40 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    So what was an early start yesterday has been counteracted by waking up at quarter-past ten this morning. To be honest, not bad going for a lazy start on a Sunday, but I always feel bad sleeping in on days off when I am in work… yes I know that seems like an oxymoron but let me explain.

    When it comes to having days off when I am in work, either weekends or when I have booked leave, I want to get up early to try maximise the amount of time spent not working, and sleeping in feels like that time is not being utilised to do non-work things – even if sleeping in is a very good thing to recover from work-related stress.

    Ended up playing a lot of chilled out games yesterday to help relax, after a round of Helldivers 2 had so many issues that it made me not want to play it for the day, and I was surprised at how much I got into them. During my unemployment I gravitated towards higher stress games as my pastime of choice, but now that I am back in work I feel a connection to the chiller side of my library.

    Chill gaming does lead us nicely into the review topic for today, something I have been alluding to over the past couple days, which I have now concluded my testing on and so I can talk about it properly.

    For a bit of backstory, there used to be a CBD cafe in Shrewsbury that offered any range of standard coffees and milkshakes with the option to have a shot of CBD in them, alongside a range of specials that had a higher concentration of the good kush. For context, CBD is an extract of cannabis that aims to induce the relaxation effects of the drug without inducing a proper “high” in the user.

    It closed down a while back, and I had always been meaning to try out other options of taking in CBD, as it does wonders for my anxiety and extremely frequent stress headaches. 

    One night as I was just scrolling around, as is my wont, I decided to check out SupremeCBD and see what they had on offer – which led to me seeing they had an “Ultimate Starter Pack” available for £70 which included a jar of CBD gummies and a bottle of CBD oil. Being the amazing deal that it was, I clicked order and in two days time, I had the product in my hands.

    I knew I wanted to review it from the moment I got it, but for something like this I also knew that experimentation would be needed to see the effects on me. So for weekdays I decided to imbibe two gummies alongside my morning medication with the plan to take a higher dose on the weekend.

    The gummies themselves are… passable. As a connoisseur of gelatinous fruit sweets myself, these ones are alright but nothing spectacular. They are vegan though, due to the binding agent being pectin rather than gelatin, a nice plus to make them more accessible but at the cost of being not very chewy.

    My weekday dose helped out a fair bit, keeping my stress headaches in check whilst letting me feel a bit more relaxed at my situation. In hindsight I should have taken some extra on Friday due to a very stressful situation cropping up that made me rather wired, but now I know for the future.

    But then the weekend came around. And I decided to take the maximum recommended dose of four gummies which comes to approximately 68mg of CBD – not spread out across a short time either, all in one go.

    The amount of zen and relaxation I experienced afterwards was not only something I had never felt before, but it was even audible in my voice to my friends as we jumped on a call to play Settlers of Catan. For the entire game I was relaxed as hell and every bit of my competitive instinct had vanished, not feeling annoyance at when my road got cut off and just enjoying being silly in the game.

    It was a transcendent experience in a way, I had no idea I could feel that relaxed, and now knowing that I have the tools to be able to experience something like that on demand; my weekends are going to be far more chilled out than they have ever been.

    Next up, I am going to be mixing the oil into a milkshake to see if I can get a similar effect to the gummies. Will report back with a follow-up review when I finally get around to that.

    But that covers everything for today, thank you for reading this Redundancy Review about relaxation. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your Sunday and that the looming spectre of Monday does not bring down your mood too much.

    For more information on SupremeCBD’s products, visit their website here: https://supremecbd.uk/ 

  • Redundancy Review: Day 39, “Sankyu”

    Redundancy Review: Day 39, “Sankyu”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning idols and divas, welcome to Day 39 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    True to form with the weekend, this is the first time I have woken up feeling somewhat relaxed in a long while, especially considering how many challenges I ended up encountering during my first week of contracting.

    That said, I have not slept in like I was anticipating. It is currently 8:48am as I start to write this which is not all that long past my usual wakeup time of 8am, I feel a small amount of grogginess in me but not to an overwhelming degree like on the weekdays.

    Regardless, my cortisol levels will probably thank me for not feeling stressed right now, letting my body slowly return to normal before it inevitably begins all over again on Monday.

    Something that affects me greatly in terms of my career path is how hard it is to trust my own emotions at points. My mind is often in a state of flux due to both estrogen and the way my brain has always been which makes it difficult to settle on how I am actually feeling on things, leading to confusion and uncertainty within myself.

    Returning to the tech space has, without a doubt, made my stress worse – which is weird to consider that when my state of being before that was unemployment, something that makes anyone stressed regardless of background. But even though my unemployment was stressful, I was following a plan to try get myself set up as a writer of sorts.

    Would it have made me anywhere near as much money as I make in the tech space? Most likely not, at least not for several years.

    Would I have been happy living on the back of my creativity? I definitely think I would be.

    My intention is to still make the most of this contract, because whilst I get stressed I am still able to prove that I am able to do the job day-to-day, it is just a matter of trying to find the appropriate coping strategies that help ease the pain.

    I think that is what might drive the conflict within me. On one hand I am fully capable of doing tech-focused roles especially in regards to QA, being able to navigate my way through a vast multitude of problems and proving the adaptability that so many people compliment me on.

    But conversely, the life I am so good at leading puts me at odds with living a lower stress lifestyle. The tech world, especially the startup space I have worked in for the last three years, moves fast and does not let up in terms of presenting challenges. I recognise that I am the person I am today because of how many challenges I have faced, but at the same time I desperately want to stop being challenged so I can focus on other areas of my life.

    A much longer mental check-in than I had anticipated this morning, but the topic kind of rolled naturally to me.

    This leads us on to the review, and whilst I was not able to put out a proper review yesterday, I have got another exciting episode of: “Rosa Eats Her Way Around Shrewsbury” for you all – this time with an extremely new restaurant on the scene.

    When I say The Gate is extremely new, I mean it only opened on July 2nd this year, a mere 17 days ago at time of writing. A dual offering of a brunch menu during the day and a steakhouse menu when evening rolls around, it provides a unique twist to a historic underground location.

    The location has a bit of personal history for me and my partner as well, as the Traitor’s Gate used to contain a burger restaurant called Lyon’s Den which unfortunately closed a while back – though it is with only a twinge of sadness I say that, as new management in the final days of the Den led to a severe drop in quality, service, and atmosphere of the establishment.

    But regardless, we were excited to return to a familiar venue with a new purpose for a good meal. Full disclosure, whilst pricing will be talked about in the review, the meal was paid for by my parents as it was my dad’s birthday meal (thanks mum and dad!).

    It was surprisingly quiet for a Friday evening, for the longest time we were the only people in the restaurant with a handful more coming in as we were getting ready to leave. My partner asked about it as we were leaving and we got told they get more busy on the weekdays than the weekend currently, which is a good sign that their dual-offering is working.

    We ordered our food, and admittedly it did take a while for our starters to come out to us, but considering the quality of what we received, it was no detriment in the slightest.

    I ordered the Buffalo chicken wings as a starter, which came with four full wing joints, for a total of eight wings for £7.50. It even came with a little bowl of water to wash your fingers off afterwards which was definitely needed.

    The sauce was the perfect blend of sweet, spicy, and rich, with the chef definitely not skimping on the amount put on the wings, that said the amount of sauce did not negatively impact the crispiness of the wing too, the skin being perfectly crisp to compliment the flavour of the sauce – with the experience only being elevated by the addition of the blue cheese dip served alongside it.

    When it comes to blue cheese, and by extension, blue cheese sauces, I can usually be a little apprehensive of them tasting more like the mold than the mold enhancing the flavour of the cheese. But this sauce was the perfect compliment to the wings, an amazingly creamy accompaniment to a very generously portioned starter for the price.

    It was a similarly long wait for the mains to come out, which our lovely server Callum did apologise for as he brought them out, making a point to say everything is cooked freshed, but taking into account the quality again, it all makes sense.

    My main was the appropriately titled “Elephant Classic” burger, with my standard addition of a fried egg, bringing the total price to £19 for this absolute beast-sized burger, accompanied by a side of hand-cut chips. (£17 without the egg)

    Is this the priciest burger I have reviewed thus far? Yup, beating out my Beefy Boys offering by over £5.

    Do I think the price is worth it? I absolutely do.

    The patty on this burger was thiccc, you can tell it is thick because I added an extra C on to how I described it. It was easily at least a half-pounder – in actuality I would guess the patty was closer to a full pound than anything else given how dense it was, and despite that density the inside was not dry at all, still being perfectly juicy.

    That said, all shows need their supporting actors, and the hand-cut chips were an absolutely perfect co-star. Crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and perfectly seasoned with salt & pepper, they needed no sauce to accompany them, standing out perfectly on their own merit.

    One side I specifically asked to order was the creamed spinach, my personal favourite side when it comes to matters of steak. Admittedly when it came out I was a little worried, the cream sitting in the dish with the spinach itself looking a little plain made me think I was going to be underwhelmed.

    The exact opposite happened.

    Despite its appearances, it was one of the best bits of creamed spinach I have ever had.

    One of the main dangers when making creamed spinach is that it will come out soggy and bland due to the fact spinach contains a great deal of water which can severely dilute the quality of the sauce. But this humble plate exceeded all expectations, the spinach was moist without being soggy, the cream and the leaf itself were perfectly seasoned. If not for the fact I was sharing it with the table, I would have happily eaten it all myself.

    When it came to desserts I was too full of meat and dairy to even consider going further, so I finished my meal with a mocha (which I forgot to take a picture of) that delivered an insanely strong hit of coffee, serving as the ideal finisher to a delicious meal.

    That said, my partner had a dessert of a churro sundae, which I will include a picture of here because it was an absolute spectacle of a sweet treat.

    For a new restaurant on the scene, I did come in with a fair bit of skepticism. But I walked away wanting to return, and wanting to recommend this place to the highest degree. 

    Independent restaurants are the heart of towns and cities, bringing immense amounts of variety amongst the big chains that can often dominate. I can wholeheartedly recommend The Gate, I am wishing them every success in the future.

    That was my longest food review in a while, with a lot of passion being translated onto the page. But I hope it shows how much I love food as part of my life, and makes you curious to try The Gate.

    Thank you for reading a much more substantial Redundancy Review today. I hope you can take a relaxing Saturday wherever you are, treat yourself to some good food, or if you are able, treat your friends to good food too. The best memories are made around a dinner table with people you love.

    For more information on The Gate, visit their Linktree page here – it will let you view both their menus, book a table, and visit their Facebook page for even more info: https://linktr.ee/thegateshrewsbury 

  • Redundancy ‘Review’: Day 38, “Working For The Weekend”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning bunnies and hares, welcome to Day 38 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Happy Friday everyone! The weekend is but hours away and for me it is going to be a well-deserved break after a somewhat chaotic week of getting into the flow as a contractor, and for me it is going to start with going out for a meal for my dad’s birthday this evening.

    Where we are going is an entirely new restaurant on the Shrewsbury scene, having only opened a few weeks ago so look forward to the review on that tomorrow… provided I remember to take pictures.

    I keep meaning to do a handful of takeaway reviews, especially with three good places for pizza within a stone’s throw away from me – but I always forget to get good pictures of whatever I have ordered and just focus on eating the greasy delight in front of me. Soon enough, I promise.

    Outside of that, it is looking to be a relaxing weekend, ideally with Asda pizza, anime, and gaming in addition to the Redundancy Review.

    Feeling sort of better after having a tough start to the week, I am still going to need time to get used to everything but part of me feels like I am finding a rhythm in between the panic. I am capable of what I am doing, but discipline and motivation are still coming back to me.

    My goal is still the same, to be a human-focused writer in the age of AI. With an almost unstoppable tide of new products on the market now really does feel like the best time to have a personal brand based on honesty, vulnerability, and messiness. 

    The Redundancy Review is an unfiltered look at a person navigating their way through a tough situation, and it will continue to go out every day, regardless of what needs to be said.

    So… I only just had a moment to be back writing something, and the day has gone by… so, I am going to save my energy for a longer full restaurant review tomorrow and just post this up to keep the streak.

    Thank you for reading this late if you have, I am posting this around 8:30pm UK time so it is very late compared to my usual upload slot. Have a great weekend wherever you are, and I hope you can relax as well as you need to.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 37, “Getting There”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning beavers and gophers, welcome to Day 37 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Had a busy day yesterday, both for stuff in work and stuff outside of work. In work I had a long suppressed instinct come back to me as I was programming something in C# for making a Unity application – extremely basic systems mind, such as switch cases and using [SerializeField], but still knowing how I like to make things.

    It feels weird, I had long since disavowed going into any form of C# or Unity for professional roles, almost intentionally letting my skills atrophy rather than stay in practice by working on my own personal projects, but I guess the knowledge imparted to me can never truly die.

    Outside of work I needed to accompany my partner to a hearing check, which on the surface sounds pretty straightforward when it turned into anything but. 

    So the check itself was booked in error due to this hearing place not having my partner’s DOB on record which caused the system to assume he was over sixty and would benefit from hearing checks. We got it all settled out but the audiologist checked his ears all the same…

    …which revealed a pretty nasty infection in the left one.

    We finished up and headed over to the GP to see if he could get a same day appointment to try to get everything checked over. We could, but we had to come back at twelve to grab an afternoon clinic slot…

    …which potentially would clash with his working hours yesterday.

    This meant we needed to go over to his work, and try find a duty manager to explain the situation. After doing so we looped back round to the GP and got an appointment booked, capping off a marathon journey across town on my lunch hour.

    Got my steps in though, and I will always do anything I can to help my partner out, he has helped me in more ways than I can describe.

    Today’s review topic will be what my partner used to help recover himself from that walk, one of the UK’s leading soft drink brands, Lucozade.

    In this case specifically, Lucozade Energy Orange. A carbonated glucose-based soft drink that also contains a decent amount of caffeine per 100ml, but not enough to be registered as a “high caffeine content” drink.

    I even view Lucozade as a recovery drink myself, a healthy dose of sugar and sweetness hits the right spot after a long walk, a hard day, or lack of sleep entirely, but due to family tradition it is my illness drink of choice too. 

    When I am sick I am usually a difficult bastard, very rarely taking the amount of rest I actually need unless whatever is afflicting me quite literally takes me off my feet, but in either case a healthy dose of lucozade either keeps me going when I should not or lets me feel somewhat comforted as I stay in bed.

    The ubiquitousness of Lucozade in the UK means it is also easier to find than my true poison of Relentless – every corner shop, off-license, and vending machine will have it in stock meaning you are never far from a quick energy boost if you need it, and with a decent variety of flavours beyond orange too.

    That does it for today, I did receive a delivery yesterday that will act as a review in future, but I need to test the product further before I review it properly. I hope you have a great day, and can relax wherever you are.

    For more information on Lucozade products, visit their website here: Official home of the UK’s favourite Lucozade soft drinks brand 

  • Redundancy Review: Day 36, “Neuroplasticity”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning geniuses and boffins, welcome to Day 36 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Yesterday was a little difficult honestly, ended up needing to have a bit of a cry away from my desk cause of having some intense emotions spring up as I was trying to get through my work. The afternoon was a bit more settled with me actually being able to get some stuff done, even if I did not feel too great with it.

    Part of my contracting work involves topics I am somewhat familiar with due to my degree, but considering I graduated in 2020 and abandoned what my specialist subject was, it does not feel entirely fantastic to be working with it again – even for the day rate I am receiving. 

    I have booked an appointment with my therapist to discuss how my life is going. I last saw her in April when I started to pick up the writing on the wall for my old company and talked about wanting to make a change in my career before the shit approached the fan at a great velocity, and part of my main plan moving forward has her advice ringing in my ears once more.

    Whenever a challenge comes my way and I told her about it she would always emphasise one thing:

    “Neuroplasticity states that the brain needs twenty one days to start adapting to a change”

    Catastrophising is something I fall into often, especially when it comes to trying to maintain my professional identity. Even when I know the people I am working with I can often develop feelings of inadequacy about my output.

    But today is only my third day, and whilst I have struggles I do have wins as well, with me being certain that new stuff will appear soon enough that takes my interest a lot more.

    For now, I will try take each day at a time, take pride in when they go well and seek comfort on times they are harder.

    Comfort is going to be the theme of today’s review, with me talking about one of the most important aspects of being transgender. 

    Is it a good bra? Not today, although having been eaten alive by underwire that is definitely something to properly invest in.

    Good shoes? Shoes are important to everyone, I just wish finding comfy goth stompers was not so difficult for my massive feet.

    Nope, what I want to talk about today is an essential aspect of comfort to trans people and one of our most recognisable stereotypes.

    Yup, it is time for me to talk about the lovable IKEA shark: BLÅHAJ.

    Pronounced either as spelled or as “blue-hi” for those wanting to conform to the Swedes, this shark plushie comes in two sizes as a 55cm variant for £5 or as a 100cm variant for £22, both are incredible plushies even outside of the meme. They are extremely soft and squishable, making them perfect to hug tight on hard days. 

    I have had my own personal BLÅHAJ since 2022 when I moved out of my parent’s place which enabled me to start living my truth, and “Sharky” as my main one is called has provided me a massive amount of comfort on my harder days, to the point he is very flat now with the stuffing deflated from multiple cuddle sessions.

    To be loved is to be changed though, and whilst I would not mind getting him professionally cleaned, I do not think I would want to get him restuffed for a while yet… especially as I do have a fresh BLÅHAJ who lives on the sofa for that exact reason… and two smaller ones who live on my giant plushie shelf.

    Even as my nephew was born the first gift I sent to him was a 55cm BLÅHAJ, both as a perfect soft toy for a newborn but also to serve as a reminder of who his Auntie Rosa is – a badass trans woman who will cry a lot, but still get the job done.

    And I definitely cry a lot still, especially over these last few months, but I am still here, and I am still getting the job done.

    That will be all for today, I hope you are enjoying the cooler weather wherever you are and that hitting hump day is not too hard for you.

    For more information on BLÅHAJ, visit the IKEA website here: BLÅHAJ soft toy, shark, 100 cm – IKEA UK

  • Redundancy Review: Day 35, “Chasing Ghosts”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning spirits and geists, welcome to Day 35 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    It was a fairly standard work day for me yesterday, got onboarded, started breaking things as is my want, and started to fight with the HMRC Self-Employment registration form which will probably also form a good chunk of my work today in between breaking things, needing to be set up as a sole trader in order to report my income.

    I can not tell if what I am suffering from right now is impostor syndrome or not. My brain tends to be a catastrophising one anyway so I need to give myself time to settle down into a routine, but part of me feels almost inappropriate where I am right now. 

    My heart still lies with my art, and whilst I feel comfortable viewing working in tech as a means to an end, there is definitely some part of me that feels that I should have left this life behind and kept walking in my own direction. I was not making any money in that direction but I felt a peace I had not experienced for a long time as I found my redundant rhythm.

    Admittedly, I did avoid doing some soul searching after I had been made redundant, choosing to focus on enjoying myself rather than thinking about what I want to do moving forward – which helped start to remedy my burnout, but did not end up addressing the root cause.

    If we consider my degree, the last eight years of my life have been in some form of hands-on role in the tech industry. I abandoned the idea of becoming a game developer shortly after my degree finished as I realised far too late that programming did not bring me any tangible joy, which led me into my current path as a QA where I have been for four years now.

    And there is no denying I am good at what I do. Even if I have moments of panic some days and have some fumbles, I am a bug finding machine with the ability to write clear & concise reports with appropriate supporting evidence…

    …I am just not sure I want to be that person anymore.

    Stay tuned as I slowly try to unfuck my brain over the course of the coming weeks, but in the meantime, time for the review – and it is Tuesday with me feeling a lot better, so it is time to review the Hololive song review!

    IRyS is a HololiveEN member initially debuting in July 2021 as part of a ‘group’ known as “Project: HOPE” before eventually joining the reformed Promise unit as their fifth member, having always been adopted by previous Council members for the purposes of collabs anyway.

    Project: HOPE initially started as a music-focused group and even after becoming a member of Promise IRyS has continued to focus on making incredibly good music across a range of genres, though one I find myself returning to often is the focus today: Gravity.

    A sombre song that speaks to me as someone who has had several experiences with depression, anxiety, and figuring out my identity, ones that persist to this day if my initial ramble is anything to go by.

    The lyrics give me the impression of what it feels like to be stuck in a rut as well, with the second verse really standing out to me:

    “Aim, somewhere along I lost my aim

    Thoughtlessly counting up my days

    I don’t know, I don’t know, it’s really tough to say

    I’ll probably be stuck here anyway”

    Ruts can often feel comfortable, and even if you are aware of the fact you have found yourself in one, it can feel almost impossible to pull out of it. But what overpowers both ruts and the theming of ruts in the song is that no one is truly alone – especially not in feeling stuck, with the bridge before the final chorus going:

    “Bet somebody’s out there, just like me

    Feeling all the same things

    I don’t know what I should do

    At least, though, you’re like this too

    I’ve found a bit of comfort”

    With the way the world is right now, with everyone going through degrees of their own shit, finding comfort in each other can be the difference between surviving and thriving, even when circumstances are not ideal.

    Also, obligatory screen grab for the thumbnail

    That covers everything for today, thank you for reading today’s Redundancy Review. You are not alone, there are those around you who can help, and the world is a better place with you in it.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 33, “Back to Reality”

    Redundancy Review: Day 33, “Back to Reality”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning workers and drones, welcome to Day 33 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    As the temperature slowly comes back down, the start of my new job comes across the horizon, so this means it is the last Redundancy Review before the title itself becomes redundant.

    My intention is still to keep going with the series, primarily as a form of practice to keep my brain active when it comes to writing and to keep an archive of what is going on in my life. I still feel a deep connection to storytelling and keeping this living journal going means I have a record of how I felt at all times… even if the feelings are inconsistent day-to-day.

    The goal today is to tidy a few final things up, primarily my desk. After the first couple days once the news had hit I stopped using it as a desk and ended up making it a storage space for other things, the vacuum cleaner, boxes, random junk, but now it is going back to being my workspace.

    Hopefully having that routine helps me rebalance my energy, but also things cooling down should help my sleep as well. I think that is one of the main things that is hampering my ability to write some days. I feel so damn tired even with an adequate amount of sleep, and the brain fog just creeps in when my rhythm starts to get there.

    On average, it takes me an hour to write a Redundancy Review – and this is not pure writing time. I will write a short bit, scroll a bit on social media or Youtube, go back to write more, go make a drink, write more, grab some screenshots or pictures for whatever I am reviewing, and then finalise it before publishing on WordPress.

    Which y’know, that on again off again approach does lead to a lot of my reviews feeling rambly, but uhh…

    …look at the website name I guess?

    I am going to skip the call to action for a while, not only to let myself focus on my new role but also whilst my brain tries to find a balance between writing and working.

    Today’s review subject comes off the back of a discussion I had with some friends last night which started because of seeing that the Ferrero Group (most known for Ferrero Rocher) own the manufacturing rights for Crunch Bar in the United States, with the worldwide distribution being handled by evil company supreme, Nestle.

    Which now makes me want to have the Ferrero Group take over production in the UK as well, because I have a very soft spot for Crunch Bars as my non-Galaxy chocolate of choice, partially for their simplicity.

    Crunch Bars are standard bars of chocolate with crisped rice mixed in, though the specific formulation of chocolate means the bar itself is harder than other brands on the market, leading to each mouthful having more bite than you would expect.

    Another reason I was drawn to Crunch Bar back in the day was because they were usually cheaper than other brands – only by like 50p, but as a broke ass student, that small amount of money made a lot of difference in my choices.

    But of course, I have to balance this review out by stating that whilst I enjoy Crunch Bar, Nestle is one of the shittiest corporations around. 

    The fact their Wikipedia page has a dropdown icon under the “Controversies” heading should tell you enough, but seeing that the list includes things such as “baby formula marketing” and straight up “water” paints a clear picture of scumminess. Me wanting the Ferrero Group to take off is basically a lesser of two evils scenario, because at least they have the appearance of wanting to care.

    You know, for being a left-leaning trans girl, it sure took me a while to launch into an anti-corporate rant on this site – done plenty of anti-AI rants, but had not yet railed against a corporation.

    Thank you for reading the last truly redundant Redundancy Review, I hope you can stay cool and hydrated whilst the temperature goes back down so you can enjoy a relaxing Sunday.

    Here is where I would do promotion for my review topic, but fuck promoting Nestle, instead I am going to promote Tony’s Chocolonely, a more ethical brand of chocolate: https://uk.tonyschocolonely.com/ 

  • Redundancy ‘Review’: Day 28, “The Long Haul”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning clocks and watches, welcome to Day 28 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Sitting here trying to think of the semantics of what doing this for a month is – technically I could say today is me having done it for a month since I have done it for four weeks, but my mind is thinking more on the side of Day 30 being the official month milestone as that lines up with my redundancy date.

    Regardless, I have been at this consistently for a good length of time all the same, and even though it looks like things are about to change for me I want to keep up with this daily habit I find myself in.

    There was a lot of doubt and weird feelings around taking this contract opportunity, specifically because I have been trying to style myself into something new, to move away from almost eight years of being a tech-focused person and shift my energy into being a creative type like I have always dreamed of.

    But being a creative is a difficult career, and I want to prove I am in it for the long haul by keeping up my creative efforts even when working in a different sector. My ultimate driving force is still those words I heard so long ago:

    “Don’t let it die in your head”.

    I want to tell stories.

    I want to share my voice.

    I want to put something positive into this world.

    Even if this whole endeavor turns out glory-free, I will be satisfied that I wrote it down at least, to keep a record.

    But if you are reading this and want to help out my career, why not consider hiring me? Scripting, stories, and Redundancy Reviews on request, I want to create each day.

    It is Tuesday, which means one thing: today is a Hololive review day!

    Although, honestly… I am not feeling too great, just went out for a walk and some food which normally helps perk me up, but if anything I feel even foggier after doing so.

    So instead, I am just going to share a Hololive talent covering possibly my favourite Vocaloid song of all time, Rolling Girl by wowaka – rest in peace dude.

    And to make sure I have a thumbnail, I am going to include a meme I made about my ability to make memes.

    Thank you for reading this shorter review. I am going to go lie down.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 27, “The End Justifies The Means”

    Redundancy Review: Day 27, “The End Justifies The Means”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning sharks and seahorses, welcome to Day 27 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Writing this a lot later than I usually do due to a mix of calls and appointments this morning around different topics which I wanted to tackle before getting my thoughts in line to do the mental health check-in portion of the review.

    I have been presented with an opportunity to do some contracting work which, whilst not entirely in my wheelhouse or interest, is in my area of expertise, that being Quality Assurance. 

    My main feelings around continuing QA work are what the title suggests, being the means that can help justify the way I want to live my life now. My ultimate goal is still wanting to be a writer for hire, telling my own stories whilst helping others to tell their own. If freelancing in tech can help enable that lifestyle, then it is something I should pursue…

    …which I recognise goes against my entire discussion on my burnout a couple reviews back, but the benefit of this being a contracting role is that I would be able to back out if things became too much for me. Even if it was just for a short while, it would get me some additional experience both as a QA and getting more familiar with the freelancing way of life.

    The Redundancy Review would continue even upon taking the contracting role – there is no stopping this train now, especially since the role would let me fund the “eating my way around Shrewsbury” reviews far easier, which are honestly some of my favourite pieces to write.

    There is some part of me that wonders what it would be like to try position myself as a professional food critic, but the problem with that is I love food too much to want to try criticise it intensely – even the most subpar food I will still find things to love about, and in a way I have not forgotten my student days where things such as the “lasanwich” and the “chicken kyiv burger” brought me incredible amounts of comfort.

    I strive to find the positives in everything, and unless something made me physically sick, I would want to try to express those positives.

    Even as I begin to enter into contract work, I will keep myself available for writing work, which if you are reading this and want to hire me, please do! I am available for professional scripting, transcription, and reviews of all sorts, do not catch yourself putting inadequate AI-generated copy out there – invest in a burgeoning writer today!

    Today’s review is another homeware/furnishing review, but one taking a very different form from a flatpack. 

    3M Command Hooks/Command Strips are one of the most useful pieces of kit as someone who rents the place they live rather than own, as like most renters, I am terrified of actually putting a hole in a wall that is not mine. 

    Command products are a godsend in that regard, with all different varieties being in different locations. I have used Small Clear Wire Hooks to build a makeshift tool rack over my hob, and the decorating clips allow me to hang fairy lights around easily, letting me live out my dream of being an e-girl through the aesthetic.

    But today’s subject is a bit more heavy duty than those two, and is used in a very unique and novel way.

    3M Command Large White Wire Hook has a weight capacity of 2.2kg, making it more geared around holding heavier objects with the suggestion on the packaging being a dustpan and brush, whilst also being able to go up to backpacks, bags, or cumbersome tools that are hard to store elsewhere.

    So, what do I use them for?

    Creating a makeshift armoury behind my bed and desk of course.

    These hooks are the absolute ideal way to mount up Nerf guns without drilling any holes to make mounting posts. The main body of the hook is long enough to guide it through the sling points of more slimline blasters, meaning the second hook can be positioned to support another section or be put through another sling point to make a rock solid mount.

    The application of the adhesive strip is incredibly straightforward, with the body of the hook itself being able to be slid off to remove the strip when needed. Each pack comes with two strips so the hook is able to be removed and reapplied elsewhere if they need to be repurposed.

    My guns have been mounted for a period of over four months now and I have not had any issues – a relief given that three of them are mounted over where I sleep, meaning I have not had any rude awakenings. With how well the initial mountings went, I am definitely looking forward to investing in more and expanding my armoury wall.

    That does it for today, thank you for reading the Redundancy Review today. These will continue until morale improves, so I look forward to continuing this journey with all of you.

    The Command Hooks mentioned in this review and many other fine products are available at B&Q in the UK: 3M Command Hooks and Hardware at B&Q (not sponsored, just a fan)