Tag: Music

  • Redundancy Review: Day 476, “Flying high”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning fighters and attackers, welcome to Day 476 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    It is currently 10:36pm in the UK as I am writing this, as the majority of my day has been taken up by playing Ace Combat 8: Wings of Theve, or doing errands outside of the flat to recover from playing Ace Combat 8: Wings of Theve. In all likelihood, I will spend even more time tomorrow playing Ace Combat 8: Wings of Theve outside of some morning errands to make sure dinner is ready in a prompt fashion so I can dedicate even more time to playing Ace Combat 8: Wings of Theve.

    Ace Combat 8: Wings of Theve.

    I have been remembering to take screenshots where I can so there will be a bumper review coming once I have done what I want to do in the game before delivering my final thoughts, but even as I fight against my mid-tier rig not getting on with Unreal Engine 5, there has been very little to spoil my experience of getting to take to the skies once more.

    There is a certain adrenaline that comes from playing fighter jet games for me, one that makes me feel so supremely powerful weaving between enemies before unleashing salvoes of rockets, missiles, and whatever advanced weaponry the game wants to throw in for shits and giggles. That said, there was a part of me that was worried that my PC would not be able to handle it at all and I would be out the money I spent on the game, but all those worries have dissolved now that I am fifteen missions in and fully engrossed in some of the most unemployed behaviour I have exhibited in a long time.

    And this is not even including the port of Ace Combat Zero that comes alongside the fact I pre-ordered, which I am so looking forward to playing on my PC both for relieving good memories and for actually being able to grab screenshots to review the game properly and redeem my old review from over half a decade ago.

    I still want to write today though, and I especially want to do a VTuesday because of Vexpo hype still persisting even two weeks after it finished, and I want to shout out Kai Kurayomi once more. Usually when it comes to male VTubers I tend to not really vibe with them for one reason or another unless they have a niche outside of VTubing itself, like how Wunder Riku I know more for composing for VTubers rather than his own VTuber activities, but Kai has managed to firmly route his way into my heart through his Vexpo opening concert set, his personality shining through on the Youtube shorts I have been recommended, and the fact that when I went to his channel to go subscribe I was presented with this masterpiece as the one main video currently on his channel outside of a waiting room for his new cover.

    First things first, as with any mention of Linkin Park, but more so with this song, we have to take a moment to remember Chester Bennington. An amazing talent, taken from us far too soon due to a battle we could never see. Rest in Peace, wherever you may be.

    One More Light is an especially poignant song to mention that on, given it is a song about how suicide can come out of nowhere, the ripples it causes in the aftermath, and the power of caring for anyone’s light even when framed against the sea of millions in flicker of existence. 

    Linkin Park covers always fascinate me regardless of their source, because I can often feel the emotions that Chester imbued into the music passing on to whoever is covering it, and how their experience informs the emotion of their own voice. Kai’s voice is absolutely beautiful in this cover, and I can feel a similar emotion of someone who has been through a lot of shit in their life, but wants to keep the light going for whoever may see it.

    Considering how varied their setlist was at Vexpo, I would be extremely excited to see more covers from them to see how they handle different songs. More Linkin Park to see what kind of emotion they would put into something like “Numb”, or perhaps something from my emo band of choice, Three Days Grace, I would adore to see someone like him take on “Life Starts Now”.

    Music is the main way I interact with the VTuber scene, and finding someone as talented as Kai has made me extremely happy and excited to see what comes next in his career.

    Cheeky thumbnail courtesy of Kai’s twitter account here:

    I have no idea whether or not what I wrote is good enough, but it is now 11:19pm and I really need to get this out and try get some sleep. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, know that the light you shine right now is treasured, and I want to see it continue, even in the darkest nights.

    …

    Ace Combat 8: Wings of Theve.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 464-472, “The Vexpo Diaries 2: A failing body with a full heart”

    Redundancy Review: Day 464-472, “The Vexpo Diaries 2: A failing body with a full heart”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning attendees and exhibitioners, welcome to Day 464 to 472 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Every part of me hurts, I feel like I have not slept properly in days and my heart is full of joy & sadness simultaneously which can only mean one thing: I spent a long weekend at the UK’s premier VTuber convention known as Vexpo – pronounced “vex-po”, not “vee-ex-po”, though given the loading screen for any panels specifically referenced pronunciations I do not think people massively give a shit.

    Last year’s trip was an absolute blast for me, which you can read about here, so it was a no-brainer that I wanted to attend again this year once tickets went live in early February. The journey here was not an easy one given everything that has happened in my year thus far, but my main goal with this weekend was to have an experience away from everything that was going on in my life to embrace being the silly, bizarre, and ever so slightly cringe VTuber fan that I am.

    That goal was definitely achieved, and almost all of my smaller goals were achieved as well due to the people I had the chance to meet, the events I was able to attend, and all of the wonderful art I was able to pick up. There was obviously some amount of scuff to go alongside this all – some aspects way worse than others – but we will get to that as it appears throughout my recap.

    I did almost 7000 words for last year’s recap, and given there was way more on this year compared to last year I have a feeling we might go way beyond that.

    With that, let us begin with:

    Thursday, which this year was actually Day 0 rather than Day -1

    Once more we had planned our weekend around heading off on the Thursday and leaving on the Monday, though this year there was actually an activity booked in rather than it just being a day to wander around the NEC campus and find VTuber fans. The morning was dedicated to finishing off any final preparations or packing before heading out to indulge in a particularly large meal at our favourite local cafe, The Ploughboy.

    Our logic was that if we loaded up on a massive brunch before heading over, we would not need to worry about food in the evening, especially given that I would only have about a thirty minute intermission between concert screenings that evening. To this end, I ordered a bacon cheeseburger topped with an egg and hash browns, which I did admittedly struggle to finish but it achieved the objective as I was able to go the entire day without needing anything except a large Tango and an embarrassingly expensive bottle of water at the cinema later that evening.

    Bags packed and bellies full, we got onto an absurdly busy Transport for Wales train that was able to take us all the way to Birmingham International where a short walk took us to our hotel, choosing again to stay at the Moxy – this time at a slightly cheaper rate than last year by about £30… though, technically I did not pay that, as a couple months prior to the convention my partner’s mother called up and asked him how much it was to stay in the hotel. He could not remember, so he said “£500” off the cuff…

    …so she gave us £500 towards the hotel expenses, meaning ultimately all we paid was £78.86 out of a total of £578.86, compared to £617.08 for last year. The hotel is still the biggest expense for the entire trip, and honestly I might try shopping around for a deal when booking next year’s one considering the Hilton Metropole was actually closer than I realised, but still a good rate considering our proximity and how long we were staying for.

    Also I am about 90% sure we were staying in the same room or at least very close to it given how similar my “view out the window” photo looks compared to last year.

    We took some time to rest, given how stressful our train journey was, before deciding to head outside and see if we could find any nerds wandering about, eventually landing ourselves at Karaage in Resorts World to sit down with other nerds for a bit before finding out where the cinema was for my Hololive concert screening, presented by Virtual Stage Productions (VSP) rather than being a part of Vexpo itself.

    Time passed, and eventually I queued up with the rest of the crowd of nerds going into the cinema screen… or rather, screens, because I only gleaned this from hearing others talk about it but the screening was split across two different screens, with a lot of the hype seeming to happen in the screen I was not in due to it having more people.

    On one hand, the fact that VSP was able to secure two screens for such a momentous event is absolutely insane and shows the appetite there is for Hololive-related events in the UK. On the other hand, it definitely felt as if there was a disparity in the screens… especially given the screen I was in had a blown out speaker which made some of the songs and MC segments a little hard to listen to.

    Part of me did consider going into the other screen after the interval, but the person I was sitting next to randomly had such fun energy for so many songs and I did not want to abandon them, especially considering how fun the second half ended up being. I feel so bad I was not able to get their name properly but whoever you are, I genuinely had an amazing evening being adopted by you briefly for an evening of Hololive music.

    I went into this with very little expectation or knowledge of what was going to be in the setlist outside of notable moments that had been posted on Twitter from the original screening. This meant I was able to be pleasantly surprised whenever something I had wanted to hear live was put on and I could cheer along like I had always wanted to.

    Admittedly, I get a little nervous whenever it comes to VTuber concerts, specifically when it comes to knowing what to do with my penlights at specific parts of the song. My rhythm is terrible at the best of times, so I tend to look around me to figure out what to do during the majority of songs. However, after a couple of songs I found myself getting into the groove of things more easily, and letting myself get carried away in whatever hype our little screening had.

    Highlights of the Day 1 screening include:

    •  “CCGG Madness”, the Autofister anthem that is an extremely fun listen and being in a crowd full of people all simultaneously shouting “AUTOFISTER!” at the start of the song is one hell of a way to keep hype going
    • “SUPERNOVA SUPER GIRL”, Justice’s most recent original song that absolutely had me immersed in the hype from being able to shout “Justice! Just like that! Justice! Get get that!” with everyone else
    • “Draw”, Raora’s original song that made me tear up when I first listened to it and made me come close to tearing up as I tried my best to sing along with it.
    • “Serendipity”, the anthem of the concert itself with the calls of “One time in a lifetime!” feeling oddly appropriate given my wonderful experience with my seat neighbour

    In general as well Day 1 had me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside getting to see how bouncy Shiori got on stage, especially during her MC segment with Cecilia and Zeta, watching her bounce idly as others talked was super cute and made me continue to love her even more.

    During the brief intermission between screenings I went out and got a bottle of overpriced cinema water which was most definitely a mistake given I spent £4.29 on a 750ml bottle of water but my throat would have almost certainly died without it considering I was starting to cough lightly by the end of the Day 2 screening.

    Additionally, I found out that I am able to sprint in my platform stompers if fully necessary. When outside of the cinema itself, enjoying my expensive water and applying a fresh coat of deodorant, I noticed my Jailbird plushie had fallen off my backpack. Panicking, I dived between people coming out of the screens to make it back to my one, not even noticing I had broken into a sprint until I made it back to my seat to recover my plushie.

    Take notice of that fact for later, it makes for a funny story on Saturday.

    Day 2 started with an absolutely GOATed lineup of “Rebellion” by all of Advent which immediately led into Justice stealing the show with “Above Below”. This was one of the things I knew coming in because the transition between the two groups is instant and hits so much harder seeing it person and hearing the crowd go wild alongside me. This hype was only compounded given that after this was Hakos Baelz singing “SNAKE EYES” which my seat neighbour absolutely got into the groove for, infecting me with the same energy during the chorus.

    I am not sure if it was the lineup of Day 2 as a whole or the fact I had definitely found my comfort zone with cheering, but looking back on the setlist now I am sitting here in absolute awe at what a show Day 2 was. Between two MC segments we have, in order:

    • Liz and Nerissa singing “Cruel Angel’s Thesis”, the opening to Neon Genesis Evangelion, an incredibly groovy number that hyped up many in the audience
    • Liz then going on to sing “ChikuTaku”, Amelia Watson’s original song which I know many people were excited to see both originally and in this screening, given Wunder Riku is from the Birmingham area and was hype himself to hear this performed live
    • And the final song in this lineup being “BLUE CLAPPER”, Hololive’s fifth generation anthem performed by a collection of blue people in Kronii, Nerissa, and special guest Kobo Kanaeru. Clapping along with this one was one of the highlights of the screening for me given how much of a place Shishiro Botan holds in my heart.

    However, I cannot talk about Day 2 without talking about something that I was surprised actually made it into the screening, but it is an important part of the concert: Kiara and Bijou crashing the projection system by doing the 67 too hard. I knew this was coming, but I was not prepared for them leaving the impromptu intermission it caused in the screening itself.

    Leaving it in did give birth to some very funny moments in our screening, as we found ourselves joining in with whatever the audience in the screening were doing. From their penlight waves reaching the end and carrying on in our universe, to finding chants to fill the time as we waited for the system to be rebooted. If I were a more confident person, I was seriously tempted to try get the crowd in our screening to chant “shrimp fried rice” in response to the chants of “USA!” from the on-screen crowd.

    After this though came Shiori Novella’s solo performance, which was her performing “RED HEART” by Akai Haato, also known as Haachama… and I have to say I absolutely embarrassed myself at this part of the screening, cause I was absolutely immersed in the performance, watching Shiori dance and sing, that at the end of it as everyone else was cheering, me in my infinite wisdom decided to yell “I LOVE YOU!” at the top of my lungs…

    …thankfully the awkwardness was reduced by someone in the audience shouting “I LOVE YOU TOO!” back which I felt took the heat off me a little bit, but still, a touch embarrassing all the same.

    Those feelings did not last long as the song after included special guest Tsunomaki Watame with my favourite original song of hers, “What an amazing swing”, which was where I seriously found myself moving almost involuntarily with my penlights in response to certain lyrics, making up my own little dance and movements for the “Fuwa fuwa fuwaaaaaaa!” lyrics which my seat neighbour joined in with. It was an extremely liberating feeling to let myself go along with the music in a way like that.

    This was where I started coughing lightly after each song due to my voice getting worn out, and where I really started to feel my lack of fitness kick in given my arms were absolutely killing me due to all the movement they had been doing. I managed to keep my energy up for this concert but I definitely think I went a bit too hard on the motions for this one which put me at a detriment to the rest of the weekend’s concert activities.

    The concert finished off with a medley of Hololive English originals, including one last round of Serendipity, before we all cleared out… though not before non-VIP guests got given this lovely bookmark with the concert key art and the location printed on it. A lovely keepsake from a wonderful evening, if with a few technical issues and the split screening feeling a bit off.

    Being able to go to a screening like this as part of a convention weekend was fantastic, but it was also nice to have this screening be so close locally that even if I were not attending the convention, I would still be able to travel over and travel home in the same day without incurring hotel costs like a screening in London would. I really hope that this shows there is an appetite for more screenings in non-London locations in the UK, as I would love to attend more and get the opportunity to hang out with Hololive fans outside of Vexpo related contexts.

    Also have some photos I took of the Pendigo Lake at night as I came out of Resorts World, the lights of the hotels reflecting lightly in the water really caught me in a way I was not expecting and helped to amplify the feeling of relaxation I had found myself slipping in to as my weekend away from my stresses kicked off.

    Let me check the word count real quick…

    …almost 2500 words when I had written 1300 at this same point in last year’s piece…

    …and I have not even started to talk about all the events of Friday yet…

    …yeah this is going to take a while.

    Friday, Day 1 – “Community Day”, but primarily “Queuecon”

    Despite taking a CBD gummy shortly after I came back to the hotel the night before, I slept like absolute shit. Possibly out of anticipation of getting to return to Vexpo after a magical experience last year, or possibly because hotel beds are strange. Regardless, my partner and I were ready to go to Vexpo in earnest.

    Yes I am censoring his face with a pink bunny screenshot because he was not aware I was taking these photos, and this is still my favourite image of his sona.

    We arrived early before the main queue started forming, and whilst I do not want to call the fact we were wandering around finding cosplayers and cool people to talk to whilst we waited for entry to begin a “mistake” because it was an enriching experience to get to chat to people…

    …it was one hell of a mistake given that Queuecon was absolutely a factor this year, much like last year.

    So many attendees.

    So few people on badge processing.

    So little queue movement.

    Everyone has their own horror story about how the queue moved, and what they experienced. For my partner and myself we were at the edge of the barriers, so we were often helping to amplify the call for water into the crowd before assisting in ferrying bottles or cups over to people in need, and at one point in time I had to go digging into my backpack for my drugs bag as someone needed to jump to the accessibility queue due to a hip problem.

    Their face when I pulled out my “All my fucking drugs” pouch instead of a box of ibuprofen was rather entertaining in the midst of it all.

    There is not much I can say that has not already been said by others: it was absolutely unacceptable, and it also showed one of the many times this weekend where Akasupas (VIPs) were not given preferential treatment, as they all had to queue up with general entry and funnel into the same set of tables as everyone else.

    I was not an Akasupa, but even I think this is a shitty situation for them. You cannot be paying £200, a £135 increase over a standard weekend ticket, and not receiving dedicated queues/advanced access as part of badge pickup – especially as it took a majority of people 4+ hours to get in, wasting approximately half of the convention opening hours for Friday.

    The queue times definitely made me miss a few things I wanted to, primarily the screening of the third Hololive English concert “All For One”, which I wanted to go to with my partner to see how he would feel given he is not usually a concert person. Arriving halfway through the screening made it hard for me to immerse myself in it the same way as I did the Serendipity screening the night before, which eventually led us to deciding to call it off.

    Fun little detail though, we got our badges, walked into the screening, and I picked a random place for us to sit down…

    …only for the person in front of us to be a friend I made last year in a Wetherspoons who recognised our voice from coming to sit down. Admittedly did not cover myself in glory again by introducing myself as “the weirdo who messaged you on Discord”, given I had DMed them prior to the convention asking if they were coming along, but it was nice to sit and talk to them briefly, even if that was the only real chance I got to talk to them.

    We initially floated walking around the rest of “Community Day”, but given we had both been standing in line for four hours and we did not fancy queueing up to get our other event tickets for the weekend, we decided to cut our losses for the day and go back to the hotel so I could recover for the opening concert.

    It was a nice idea on Vexpo’s part to open up the hall on Friday for people to come together and hang out, but the logistics of the queues made that extremely difficult given how many people ended up spending half of the day standing around and waiting. I heard several anecdotes from people of meetups scheduled for the day not going ahead due to lack of people or the organisers themselves being stuck in the queue, which is seriously shitty considering the focus of the day was supposed to be interacting with other community members.

    If Vexpo continues to scale, then ticket operations need to scale alongside this, because there is no way the convention can continue to grow if ticketing issues like this persist into even larger venues. 

    Stepping out was the right idea for myself and my partner, as we had started to get hungry near to the end of our experience, and what better way to cap off a day where our expectations were played with than food which carries no expectation whatsoever.

    Yup, it is Five Guys. The most overpriced basic burgers you can ask for, but ones that most definitely hit the spot when plans go awry… at least for me. My usual order is bacon cheeseburger with mushrooms, lettuce, grilled onion, jalapenos, mayo, and mustard, with a little fries to go along with it. No drink, as I did not particularly feel like going overboard on the Coke Freestyle machines, leaving me with a somewhat reasonable total of £18.10 – still not exactly cheap, but enough to fill me back up for the opening concert.

    Time passed, and it was soon time for me to go out again to queue up for the opening concert, which…

    …I am sorry I am going to get a bit venty here.

    The fact we had to queue up to enter the hall which then led us to queueing at the barrier which then led us to queueing at the stage entrance was way more annoying than it had any right to be and felt so incredibly disorganised.

    This is not to mention that last year Akasupa’s got priority concert entry which seemed to be a nonexistent perk this year around when this is supposed to be the event that kicks off the entire convention. 

    Persistent issues around queueing aside, we all eventually funneled into the Monarch Stage for the opening concert to start, where we got a brief message from the CEO of this year’s convention, Yiru, who shared some… interesting tea on the background behind the convention this year, in that Vexpo 2026 almost did not happen.

    There was a transition in management teams from last year and this year, and whilst gory details were not shared, Yiru’s message was definitely one of “this show very nearly did not come together, but we hope you enjoy anyway”, which helped shine a bit of light on just why the queue debacle took place. Part of me wishes this story will be shared as part of a post-mortem, but I also understand that certain conversations would need to be kept private. 

    After Yiru finished her message, the concert started with a playing of “World Wide Wonder”, the official anthem for Vexpo 2026, which I have talked about previously here. It is a song I absolutely loved, and being able to be part of a penlight sea of orange as it played was a magical experience.

    The opening act was Rachie, most known for her English covers of Vocaloid songs, starting her set with a song that would get any weeb worth their salt cheering along with “World Is Mine” before launching into an assortment of Vocaloid covers in a mix of Japanese and English – special mention going to her cover of “My R”, a song I had never heard before but found myself getting emotional at with a surprisingly catchy beat to it. Her set finished off with her original song “Part-Time Idol Declaration”, a song written about her experience balancing her day job with her idol work, especially poignant given her declaration at the beginning of her set that she wants to make VTubing her full time job.

    I knew Rachie primarily through the fact that everyone uses her lyrics for English Rabbit Hole covers, so it was actually really nice to see a live performance of hers and be introduced to new songs I had not listened to before.

    After her was Lilith O’Leerie, a talent I was interested in seeing live given her demon aesthetic made me curious as to what her set was going to be, with my anticipating a very emo rock/metal set… 

    …so colour me absolutely surprised when she opened up with “Alejandro” by Lady Gaga. Not that I am complaining, but it was most definitely a subversion of my expectations. Either that or I am the world’s oldest Gen Z who has music taste firmly stuck in Guitar Hero 3.

    Regardless, her set was absolutely fantastic to bear witness to, especially with her two original songs performed of “PETTY” and “Final Girl”. I could tell she was a little nervous to perform her originals but the vibes were immaculate throughout the entire set. Plus I absolutely adore how well her intro rolls off the tongue:

    “I am Lilith O’Leerie, your guiding light in the eerie night.”

    Up next was Linvy, someone who I had zero previous exposure to unlike the two acts before her… but when you open your set with Hoshimachi Suisei’s “Stellar Stellar”, you instantly win my heart, cheers, and enthusiasm for the rest of the set. You then win me over completely by closing your set with fucking “Lumière” from Expedition 33 – a completely surreal experience to have in a VTuber concert as we all did penlight waves to it, and as myself and many others around me sang along best we could.

    Linvy seems like an extremely small channel currently, but her voice and performance were extremely mesmerising, to the point I want to hear her perform more. That is the beauty of concerts like this at VTuber events, you go in for a few people you like, and come out absolutely loving people who have never been on your radar before.

    Following Linvy was Akugaki Koa from ChromaSHIFT, someone who I have a button of for some… unknown reason, but is again someone I have not had much exposure to. Her toggles for her model through her set were extremely cool to see and whilst I did not really recognise the majority of the songs she sang, getting to be part of a crowd for Shigure Ui’s “Loli God Requiem” with all of the call-and-response in that song was another highlight for me.

    The set after this was what I was really curious about, given that I had the most familiarity with both Doki and Dooby, alongside the hints Doki had given online about how it was originally supposed to be a 2D set before Doki upped it to 3D motion capture exceeding what she had been paid in appearance fees, and that she had tailored it to the European audience…

    …opening with “We Will Rock You” by Queen was one hell of a way for my energy to recover, especially because at this point my arms had started to fail once more through repeated cheers. Following that up with Doki performing “Europapa” by Joost Klein kept the energy going which helped lead into Dooby performing “Popipo” by LamazeP.

    That said, I do not think anyone was anticipating the last song of the set being “Baby” by Justin Bieber.

    I am not ashamed to say I was still singing along.

    I really do not know why I was singing along by that point, but I was enjoying the energy a lot.

    That said, my energy definitely started to dip from this point onwards, which is a shame because Skye Senfort has a really beautiful voice even if I was not really able to cheer and dance along like I had done for other acts. It was still lovely to hear her sing, but if I were not working from a VOD concert ticket, I would have struggled to recall her set.

    Also yes I am working from a VOD right now. I took photos and have vague recollections of the concert, but considering I did not take notes, I would have struggled to put together anything resembling coherent for this segment outside of my scuffed photos.

    I guess this is a good time to talk about my approach to concert coverage. I am very much someone who will try to take a photo at the start of the set so I have an example of what the talent looks like, but then I will primarily be focusing on enjoying the concert and being immersed in the experience. This helps for my own enjoyment of the concert but also means whatever recap I write after is solely going to be based on memory rather than notes. Thankfully the VOD tickets being available on MiruV are helping me out here, but the scuffed photos will remain over screenshots for the true experience of being an attendee.

    My energy levels continued to fluctuate when the lovely ladies of the Aerunia unit from Glitch Stars took the stage containing Amaya Whisper, Limina Alteri, Kanna Yanagi, and Hiyori Mokami. A medley of anime openings and endings kept the crowd’s energy up which continued to be amazing to be a part of, and when my body was able to cheer along to certain songs I felt that energy as well, but I was most definitely starting to flag by this point…

    …fully unaware of what was coming as the final act.

    The final act for the evening was Kai Kuroyomi, falling once more into the category of “I do not know this person, but am curious to see what they have on offer”.

    What I was not prepared for was a set with extremely high production values, several special guests, and opening up with fucking “Chop Suey!” by System of a Down. My body might have been failing hard by that point, but there was no way I was going to let this song pass without putting my all into cheering. 

    I tried by best through the rest of the set, but I was most definitely starting to die and wondering how the hell I would make it through the rest of the weekend. Seeing Kai on stage though near to the end made me cheer loudly even through the pain my arms were in, and I really look forward to seeing him at events in the future.

    Also shout out to the guy sitting next to me by the name of “Mimo”. Was an absolute pleasure to have your energy carry me through my arms starting to fall apart and to cheer alongside you.

    Another word count check in… 5000 plus words huh… and I have not even got to the main meat of the convention… even after working on this for four days now…

    I somewhat regret starting this, but I have to finish telling this story.

    Saturday, an actual full convention day with things going on in it.

    Again you would think that having a full day of standing around in queues and a full concert would make it so I conk out almost instantly and sleep like a log but a proper night’s sleep continued to elude me going into Saturday morning. A pot of instant porridge and a disappointing hotel kettle mocha later, I was ready to roll once more.

    Convention entry for general tickets was due to start at 11am, but my partner and I wanted to be active and out of the hotel, so we went over to Hall 9 somewhat early on, eventually arriving outside at just before 10.

    This was great news for us, as we got let in at 10… even though we really should not have. I am still not sure why, but for Akasupas to have one of their main Saturday benefits cut in half was extremely shitty. As I was resting on a bench as my partner went to their Meet & Greet for the morning someone I had chatted with the day prior came to sit with me to sort out their bag, and they were surprised I had made it in. To quote:

    “I’m not annoyed at you cause you get more convention time, but it really sucks you got let in early.”

    Again. Akasupas are £200. Their benefits should be absolute considering how much they pay.

    But, I was in, though my lack of sleep and general disposition meant I had a quieter start to the day, primarily focused on wandering around Artist Alley and seeing what I could find.

    Part of that included seeing this beautiful Baulatro (with Fuwamoco) flag some attendees were carrying. Flag culture in the VTuber community never fails to make me smile with what unique flag combinations are on display.

    Prints and charms gathered, I reconvened with my partner to do a loop of the convention hall, specifically as we were on the lookout for Densetsu.EXE manager Steiner to have a short conversation with him. In attempting to do so though, we ran into Merryweather doing his own walk around the convention.

    For context, my partner is featured right at the start of Merry’s Vexpo 2025 video, being completely scatterbrained over who he was meeting. We brought this up again at our second meeting with Merry’s handler recognising him from the video as well… only for my partner’s scatterbrain to kick in once again as Merry was left hanging for a handshake for some amount of time before I had to lean in to point this fact out to my partner.

    If this exchange makes it into a video again, I am going to wet myself laughing over this happening two years in a row. 

    We did a few more loops looking for Steiner, but did not manage to find him, so we eventually decided to queue up early for the Hololive English Justice panel instead, knowing it was going to be extremely popular. This was the right move, as the disorganised queue structure gave us a decent spot near to the front.

    Sadly there will be no photos from this panel, specifically because it was prohibited as part of the panel rules itself, but I can say it was an absolutely magical experience being a part of it. The drawing challenge was extremely entertaining, with Liz’s interpretation of “Gigi in the UK” being perfectly spot on with her Greggs sausage roll and Tesco meal deal, but it was also impressive to see Raora’s art in motion, seeing the talent of a proper artist at work in such a short timeframe.

    The initial pub quiz section was entertaining if just to see the variety of batsu games done whenever anyone got a question wrong… which was everyone, to the point that rather than a pub quiz it became a regular Q&A session which I so desperately wanted to be a part of to ask Raora a Monster Hunter question, but maybe in the future if I win a meet & greet with her. In hindsight I probably should have brought out my Raora plushie to the panel rather than my Shiori one, but I was not about to leave her behind.

    There was a group photo taken at the end that I do not think has been posted yet, but I am curious to see if I made it in. Admittedly I was a little self-conscious about my height and wanted to make sure people behind me could make it in, but it would still be so cool to see if I did.

    Post-panel involved more wandering around artist alley, but was also my opportunity for meeting several people I had on my list for wanting to have a conversation with.

    The first of these was a cosplayer called Remy/@voymay, someone who has made gorgeous 3D modelled Shiori accessories that I have printed off in the past and in general makes amazing looking genderbent cosplays of Hololive members. It was great getting to talk to you and tell you my horror story from last year, and thank you for taking a picture with me.

    Some more wandering later, and I noticed a blue-haired individual near the entrance of artist alley. Figuring who it was, I approached extremely nervously and asked the question.

    “Excuse me, sorry, are you Wunder Riku?”

    “Yes I am.”

    Cue my English starting to fail me as I try to explain who I was, why I approached him, and what stuff of his I loved. I am not entirely sure if I got my point across of everything I wanted to say, but I still appreciate the fact you took time out from your filming plan to talk to me for a bit and take a photo.

    That said, I am also going to call him a bastard as affectionately as possible here because I spent time in that conversation gushing about how much I love the song Astrogirl he wrote to the point I have a custom Beat Saber map of it and that sly fucker said nothing about the fact that he was going to be playing that song in the closing concert.

    Which y’know, did preserve the surprise of what I would bear witness to, but also, god damn you to hell you talented bastard.

    He was with Starlight Daryl at the time too, and I felt really bad that I did not have much to say to her that was not just knowing her from Music Box of Fate… which constituted karma biting me in the arse because her performance at the closing concert was actually the first thing to bring me to tears, but more on that when we get to it.

    We started heading back over to the community area after this to get ready for the HUKEC meetup shortly after, and we finally ended up running into the person we had been searching for the majority of Saturday: Steiner. We met him last year at Phoebe-chan’s IRL meet and greet table, and given the confidence boost my partner got from his interactions with Phoebe, we wanted to pass on our thanks through him, alongside talking to him a bit about his adventures in an abandoned tunnel before Skyline Serenade.

    One thing that stood out to me as we talked to him was my partner saying something to the effect of “I’m sure Phoebe doesn’t really remember me but I do appreciate what she’s done for me”, which was responded to with one of the most wholesome reads of Phoebe’s character I think I have ever heard from Steiner:

    “Phoebe doesn’t usually forget.”

    She’s such an inspiring figure to me and my partner, and it would have been great to have an opportunity to meet her again this year, but I also appreciate that she is taking a very well deserved holiday in Japan right now.

    I forgot to take a picture with her, but shortly after this I managed to see the wandering iPad of Lilith O’Leerie, so I went up to her and expressed how much I enjoyed seeing her perform at the opening concert and how awesome her aesthetic is. She was very flattered and we had a fun moment where my partner was on the edge of the frame and she demanded he come in, especially calling out the fact we were both wearing red before he had a conversation with her about the quality of velvet in clothes.

    Finally making it over to the community area, my partner’s social energy started to dip which made him disappear after a certain period of time, but not before I managed to completely embarrass myself again in a random interaction. We were talking to a cosplayer and discussing shoes, as they were wearing some mighty impressive platform heels as part of their cosplay. I mentioned I had been wearing my boots for such a long time, to which they asked how I was able to walk in them.

    Now, do you remember about 5000 words ago I mentioned I discovered I was able to sprint in my platform stompers?

    I boasted this fact to this cosplayer, and asked if they wanted to see it.

    My partner was pleading with me not to do anything stupid.

    High on social energy, I decided to do it anyway, and I made a very good attempt at sprinting towards the back wall of the NEC hall we were in, not tripping at all…

    …however I did forget that momentum was a thing and that me as someone very tall and heavy would carry a lot of excess momentum, leading to me not slowing down in time and hitting the wall with a decent amount of speed left in me. Thankfully my shoulder took most of the brunt meaning I was just a bit achey, but it also led to a very fun interaction when I got back to the main meetup area and saw someone looking at me for what I had just done:

    “You saw nothing.”

    “I didn’t see anything… definitely heard something though.”

    It says something about my social character development that I am able to embarrass myself frequently over the course of a weekend and not only want to do it all again, but feel no regrets over the incidents that caused the embarrassment. 

    My partner disappeared back to the hotel, and the HUKEC meetup started. I did not get the opportunity to take too many photos this year, but unlike the last year where I was obscured in the group photo, this year I was taking no chances whatsoever of having a chance to find me, as I put my penlight on as a beacon of sorts.

    Full group photo from Hololive UK Enthusiasts Community (HUKEC) (@HololiveUKEC) / X

    No such worries this time, this pillar of awkwardness stands out like a sore thumb.

    Possibly because of exhaustion, and possibly because of not having my social muse around, I did not get the opportunity to talk to as many people as I wanted to, though that did not matter much as I got to achieve one of my other goals for this convention as well.

    For those unaware, this is a type of cosplay called “kigurumi”, the process of wearing a big-ass anime bobblehead and a bodysuit to make yourself look as if an anime character directly came out of the screen to rapidly approach your location. I have had a fascination with this type of cosplay for many years, and being able to finally see it up close and personal was a major highlight for me – more so given the fact that I have been following the one cosplaying as Shiori for several years at this point, so getting to see their cosplay of one of my oshis up close was an amazing highlight. For credits, the Shiori is @mercer_kig, the Gigi is @freia_000 (who gave me a lovely sticker of some Gundam-inspired Shiori art after I took that photo with them), and the Raora is @kigpotato, someone who I did a little dance with to the short section of “GachaxGacha ADVENTURE!” during the random dance segment of the meetup. It was incredibly cute to do so, and thank you to all three of you for taking a photo with me.

    The bobbleheads were not the only cosplayers I took a photo with, as I recognised someone called Kat/@katmaracleexe from last year’s meet in a new Nakiri Ayame cosplay, so I asked to take a selfie with her which she very kindly obliged, which also included a free sticker with commissioned art by her friend Bri, link to their DeviantArt account included.

    I sat down after these interactions and almost found myself tearing up. Even when I did not really engage with as many people as I had wanted to, HUKEC continues to be a place where I feel oddly at home. A chaotic group of people all coming together to celebrate our weird little interests, wherever that may be. It feels nice to belong, especially in a group of people where there are so many other LGBT folk like myself.

    I was most definitely starting to die by this point, but I still had one final task to complete for the day. Merryweather and Lumi had a dedicated photo-taking hour from 6pm-7pm (yes we did do the hand motions with Merry when we met him earlier), and I wanted to make a polaroid with the both of them my final prize for the day. It was actually a very reasonable queue with an equally reasonable price of £10 for the polaroid photo, with no extra charge to get Lumi to sign it for me. I definitely need to find the right frame/holder for this, but it is a lovely picture I will treasure forever.

    Energy depleted, and having worn platform stompers for probably about ten hours by that point, I limped back to the hotel to begin recovery for the premium concert that evening. One thing was on my mind, the same thing that is on my mind a disturbing amount of the time: pizza. Specifically, a big greasy Papa John’s pizza.

    Delivery was actually remarkably smooth to the NEC campus, which is impressive considering I usually hold off doing delivery when at home because of the difficulties I have getting delivery people to find my flat. I absolutely devoured my portion of the sides before eating over two-thirds of the pizza in no time flat, given I had not actually eaten anything since the morning by that point.

    I tried my best to recover what little energy I could before turning back around to head to the premium concert… but it was a short lived experience.

    My goal with the premium concert was to focus solely on cheering, especially given the fact I was mainly excited to see Densetsu.exe perform live and was super excited to hear Hot-Blooded Heroine live for the first time.

    That did not happen though, as the events of the past three days finally caught up with me and I felt my body completely slow down under the weight of every activity I had done up until that point. I found myself hit the floor partway through Matara Kan’s opening set, and I was not able to bring myself off the floor for Oshiriko’s set despite it containing both “Everytime We Touch” and “Night of Fire”. If some of my favourite performers and favourite songs were not enough to bring my spark back, then it was the right move to get out of there and go to bed.

    Of course as I went to leave I heard V4Mirai get on stage with “In The End” and I felt myself hesitate however briefly, but given I was walking with a full on limp by that point, there was an overwhelming desire to rest so I could be at a reasonable strength for the day after.

    I do feel bad, both for not being able to persevere through the exhaustion to cheer for the people I wanted to, and for the fact a ticket that could have gone to someone more energetic than I essentially went to waste. I know I should not regret giving it a try all the same, but part of me wishes I could have stuck around a bit more, though I know it would have derailed my Sunday entirely which was its own day of fun and excitement.

    Checking in with the word count and we are at 7800ish words which means I have already got 1000 words over last year’s piece and there is still so much to talk about.

    Sunday, the last day and still somehow so full of things to do.

    Waking up on Sunday confirmed to me that resting was the right call, as even just the events of the days prior were enough to have me feeling slow and sluggish in the morning, with not even a refreshing breakfast Relentless enough to bring me out of my daze.

    That said, I had a very specific goal in mind, and at risk of sounding like a pervert, it meant beelining it towards the 18+ area of the convention, titled “Vexpo Underground”, right as it opened. Whilst I was severely tempted by some of the lewd art on display, and as I discovered later one of the booths in there were selling playmats with Matara Kan leading a Tyranid horde which is a mighty need now that I know it exists, my main goal was to meet a cosplayer I had been following for over a decade at this point.

    Danisaurz/@dani_saurz initially came on my radar during 2015/2016 in the preamble to Overwatch coming out, when she was one of the first people I saw cosplaying D.Va in her own style with full on MEKA shoulder pads which was so rad, so seeing her as an official guest of Vexpo was super exciting to me. It was an extremely pleasant chat, alongside getting both a cheki and a signed print from her for an extremely reasonable £40.

    I also have to point out an extremely fun moment when we were getting ready to take the cheki.

    “Do you want to make a heart?”

    “Oh my god can we do the thing?!”

    The thing in question being one side doing the heart, with the other doing a thumbs up in response, with us swapping sides for the cheki versus the photo taken on my phone. I was unreasonably excited to do that and whilst it would have been cute to have the heart, you can tell in my cheesy grin I was over the top excited for this moment. It was so super sweet to talk to you Dani, and I hope to see you again at a future convention!

    After that I did a bit more shopping around artist alley, mainly picking up a shikishi board and some small charms to either put on my back or strap to my dress, but then I went to go crash in the nearby hall cafe for a small but somehow still expensive extra caffeine hit in the form of a latte… cause they did not do mocha which is very disappointing to me.

    My energy was at near-zero, and the frequent caffeine doses I was taking throughout the day were basically just stopgaps to keep me alive and not falling asleep, vitally important considering I had two meet and greets and a concert to get to.

    I sat in that cafe for an unreasonable amount of time, contemplating and reflecting on my experience over the weekend, and that even though I was slowly losing every bit of energy, I held no regrets whatsoever about everything I had done to that point. There was no yearning to have done more in the time given to me, sure I had managed to make a fool out of myself in a few interactions, but not to the degree where I was sitting there wondering what I could have done differently. My interactions were positive, and whilst I was exhausted, I found myself being oddly at peace with that feeling.

    Rest time soon came to an end as the time for my meet and greets arrived, last year on Sunday I managed to double book myself for both Rin Penrose and Elia Stellaria, so this year the fact I won very little in the raffle means I should have avoided-

    -well shit.

    I had indeed double booked myself once more. I decided to go to Dr. NOVA(e) first, on the logic that the queue for Ironmouse would probably be rammed because it was fucking Ironmouse and hopefully I should be able to move along quickly to double back.

    Now, small bit of criticism, I had to look on ConCat to figure out what booth which meet was in. When you have both signs out front of the booths and a dedicated Vexpo app with a map, was a little annoying but nothing deal-breaking, especially when the queueing experience for meets this year was so much nicer than last year.

    Last year queues tended to snake amongst one another, which led to issues of overcrowding when queuing for a meet and the queues exceeding the space given. This year was a lot better, when a queue started to exceed the boundaries of the meet area a volunteer came over and split us into two queues – a far more elegant solution that made the Dr. NOVA(e) queue a very pleasant experience.

    Getting to meet the mad doctor was one of my highlights, especially as it continued a “tradition” for me in having a VTuber compliment my outfit when I walk into a meet booth. Whilst Matara was more restrained with “Ooo, you’re stylish”, Dr. NOVA(e) went a bit more… excited.

    “OH MY GOD YOUR OUTFIT IS SO AWESOME!”

    I unclipped my plushie of her off of my dress and presented it to her, addressing it as “the child”, where she told me to punt it into the distance only to have it return to me as a cursed object when I go to sleep at night… hey it makes sense, this thing looks creepy.

    After that we talked about the Portuguese beer Super Bock for a bit before I shared with her the trick my family uses with the beer, a shot of it in a glass of sangria, which she seemed very concerned about but curious to try. We finished with the photo together and I wished her well, coming out feeling extremely good about what had just gone on, but I had no time to wait as I needed to hop over a booth or two to get to Ironmouse.

    You only got one minute with Mousey, and even though the lovely staff member handling the entrance asked me if I had a question ready, there was nothing really in my mind that came out other than introducing myself, complimenting her, and mentioning a cute as hell Cinnamaroll jacket I was supposed to bring.

    It is kind of obvious in the photo too, but I actually teared up at one point. I was properly starstruck at getting to meet the Ironmouse, one of the most amazing VTubers of our time and I got one amazing minute with her where I stumbled over my words and then took a photo with her.

    Even looking back on this now, I do not consider this as time wasted. I might not have been able to speak properly for my minute, but I still used that time in a good way, and the photo is a beautiful memory as well.

    My partner and I had a nice conversation with some cosplayers before disappearing out of the hall for a bit to discuss plans for the evening. He initially asked me if I wanted to shack off the concert for tonight and just relax, but I wanted to see things through to the end. He disappeared back to the hotel as his energy was thoroughly spent after tracking down every iPad and wandering VTuber he could find over the course of the weekend, which left me about three hours to explore what little remained at Vexpo for me.

    This led me to going to the “Jubilee Stage” to attend Cakejumper’s panel, “I VTube & Facecam and You Can Too!”. Upfront, I pretty much only knew of Cakejumper from passing conversations with friends, so I had very little idea of what to expect of her.

    And I walked away a massive fan due to her energy, stage presence, and overall dry sense of humour. Special mention to her highlighting her first model as one of her PowerPoint slides with the following:

    “Here’s my first model. Isn’t she cute? Isn’t she pretty? She’s dead now.”

    Caught me so off guard in the best possible way, and then her actual presentation was incredibly informative on any worries about getting into VTubing, stressing that you do not need to spend stupid money on getting started with an expensive model and revealing how much her current model actually cost her – a discussion I think is very needed in the VTuber space especially at a convention where several people (myself included) might be thinking of dabbling in the hobby, so to see a somewhat established name extoll the virtues of PNGTubers was actually very refreshing.

    Afterwards I ran into someone who I had been encountering somewhat frequently through the weekend, who gave me their card with a very quick but still lovely doodle of Miku on it. Shoutout to @GreenMage39 for keeping me company at random intervals throughout the convention weekend, and I hope you had safe travels back home.

    Finally, it came time for the closing concert, To Hell and Back presented by Starlight and Wonder with a full live band… buuuut not before Queuecon reared its head one last time as it took about thirty minutes past the advertised start time for us to actually get in. From what I could tell this was due to needing to perform more sound check tests to ensure everything was working correctly, but this was still pretty annoying to encounter especially because it cut into the concert runtime itself due to strict NEC curfew rules.

    Even though it was cut short though, this was an absolutely perfect way to close out a weekend where I had fully taken advantage of everything offered to me, and I am so extremely glad I did not miss this.

    Somehow I did not put two and two together that the show would mostly be a showcase of the talents of Starlight and Wonder so I went into it not really anticipating hearing that much. Proceedings opened with Matara Kan performing her original song “Stars Will Never Die” written by the duo, an extremely smooth and jazzy number that I enjoyed getting to hear performed live, especially with Matara performing in the background.

    Following this was Wunder Riku explaining a little about himself and saying how great it was to be in Birmingham, asking if anyone was from around here or in the Black Country which I cheered loudly for to be greeted with “Wow, all three of you” which made me laugh – Shrewsbury may be my adopted home, but I will not forget my roots as a Wolverhamptoner. He then went on to perform a medley of his songs that he had written for Hololive, which opened with ChikuTaku with his own custom opening:

    “That’s right, I’m not just a songwriter, I’m an idol too!”

    That opening made me smile so much and got me as hype as I could be for the medley, even if my arms were definitely still not working to the point I wanted them to be for something like this… though one song was missing from the medley, and we will get back to that one.

    Afterwards Starlight Daryl took centre stage to perform a recent original song she produced called “Space and Time”… and this is where karma bit me hard for not really knowing much of Daryl’s work before coming to this concert, because it made me weep uncontrollably with how beautiful the lyrics were. The description on the video describes it as “a bittersweet yet whimsical song about love, the cosmos, and the pain of longing for someone who feels lightyears away”… and as someone who was in a long-distance relationship for two years and still has vivid memories of how it feels to be apart from your partner, I found every bit of emotion that had wanted to come out over the weekend and let the tears flow. For my first proper exposure to Daryl’s work to make me bawl my eyes out while surrounded by other VTuber fans, I am now certainly a fan. 

    Daryl’s stage presence is beautiful as well, and I could tell how much this show meant to her during the performance of an excerpt of Starlight Phantasia, her own symphonic story that continued to move me to tears even though there were no lyrics at all, the music was just that amazing. I really hope both her and Riku get invited back next year, so I can express my thanks to both of them in person and tell Daryl I am sorry for not realising her talent sooner.

    Though the tears kept flowing for me, as Wunder Riku performed two of his fan songs that he wrote for Amelia Watson and Gawr Gura’s graduation respectively, with some minor scuff beforehand as his ukulele was causing some feedback issues with the sound setup. The songs were titled “Under the stars” and “The world outside”, and even though I am someone who will say that the graduations of both Ame and Gura did not massively affect me that much, and maybe it was because of my already impacted emotional state, but I found myself crying once more at the beauty of the lyrics and the story they told… in general this entire concert brought me to tears for various different reasons and even though I was crying alone, I never felt more as if I belonged somewhere.

    After this Wunder Riku performed one of his Honkai Star Rail fansongs called “METHOD”, which was a welcome break from having music make me want to cry, and it was also fun to see him worry about playing a bassline that he wrote. It was a jazzy number that helped to let my eyes recover…

    …yeah that break did not last long cause the song after that was called “Shine On”, composed by Starlight Daryl and written & performed by Kou Mariya. Again, not someone I had a lot of familiarity with outside of hearing her perform in last year’s opening concert, and I felt myself being brought to tears once more with the beauty of the lyrics. VTuber music has this way of getting into my heart and mind and making me feel so in the moment.

    But the heaviest tears were yet to come.

    After this song ended I saw Wunder Riku looking off stage and doing hand signs to a staff member off-stage, clearly seeing him hold up two fingers which was then explained as having time for two more songs because the NEC was very strict on making sure we were out by 6pm.

    “So you may have noticed that one song was missing from my Hololive medley earlier. The next song is Astrogirl.”

    Fuck.

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    I was already in an emotionally compromised state, and now I was about to hear one of my all-time favourite Hololive original songs played live, a song that can bring me to tears at the best of times. My arms were not able to cheer like I wanted to, there was nothing more that my mind wanted to do than twirl my penlights in bright orange to a chorus so beautiful, but there was no energy left.

    All I could do was sing along as much as possible, even with tears streaming down my face, even as my voice was starting to give out, I wanted to make my voice part of a live performance of Astrogirl.

    Heck I am so caught up in the emotions of reliving this moment that I completely forgot to mention that this song had special guest performances from Bonnie Barkswell and Emiliya Fell, adding their beautiful vocals to an already beautiful song, and I know being able to perform this song live meant the world to Bonnie as well. I know I was not alone in having the tears flow, I just wish my body could have cooperated a bit more to actually cheer along.

    It came time for the final song, and true to the name of the concert “To Hell and Back”, the final performance was Ironmouse’s original opera song, “Music Box of Fate”, composed by Starlight Daryl and written by Wunder Riku. There is very little I can say other than “perfection” to sum up everything I felt with that final performance.

    The band was perfect.

    The guests were perfect.

    The show was perfect.

    The entire weekend was perfect.

    And hearing everyone sing along to the swan song of Vexpo 2026 was a magical experience I am not forgetting any time soon. I really hope Starlight and Wonder can do something like this again, as I want to experience the magic of a performance like this many more times in the future.

    With that, Vexpo 2026 came to an end, and with the dates announced for next year in an even bigger set of halls (yet to be confirmed officially on socials), there was now a countdown to when I got to experience a weekend like this again.

    But Sunday was not over just yet. Even though I was teary-eyed, exhausted, and probably should have changed out of my boots, I was committed to having a lovely date with my partner to act as a finale to the weekend as a whole, and considering we had such a lovely experience last year, we went once more to TGIFridays in Resorts World.

    What is the most effective cure to an emotional heart and an exhausted body?

    Cheese.

    Excessive amounts of cheese. In the form of nachos, a cheeseburger with cheese fries on top, and a delicate New York cheesecake.

    Admittedly it was the weirdest plate of nachos I have ever eaten being massive tortilla chips covered in melted cheese and bizarrely served with shredded lettuce for some reason, but it absolutely hit the spot. The burger hit that same spot as well, with my first words upon taking my first bite being:

    “This is disgusting and horrible in every way I want it to be.”

    It says something that I can call a plate of food such derogatory terms and be in love with it the entire time.

    A date night between the two of us was definitely needed, and having it be the capstone to a weekend where we both cut loose and let ourselves be authentic through and through was equally as magical. We retired to the hotel after this, buying a stupidly expensive low-alco cider from the bar to take back to our rooms, content in the things we had accomplished.

    Feedback, in one neat section for any Vexpo staff who read this

    It is kind of funny, in that a lot of people might have seen the Queuecon on the Friday as an omen for what was to come during the main weekend itself. Of course there was scuff and technical issues as there would be at any virtual entertainment experience, but outside of that there was nothing as bad as the badge collection queue experience the entire weekend. If anything, considering Yiru’s admission that there was only six months of planning involved, this was a show that should have been an impossibility when taking into account the talent lineup that was involved, but it all went ahead beautifully to create an unforgettable weekend for many.

    That said, there is going to be one main bit of feedback that applies to what I noticed as an issue throughout the entire weekend:

    Communication.

    If you ask me, there was disturbingly little communication throughout official channels across the whole weekend. This was no more apparent during Queuecon when we got two announcements apologising for the speed of the queue and then nothing else, with very few announcements in the Discord server in general across the whole weekend, which is a drastic contrast to how many announcements there were last year highlighting different stalls and events going on over the course of the convention. The wording I am going to use is harsh, but the communication effort felt borderline lazy compared to last year’s effort, especially when there was so much more going on.

    This extends to communication about meetups in the community area, which were relegated to a page on the website rather than being embedded in the Vexpo app itself. As far as I can tell scrolling back on the announcements channel in the Discord there was no direct link to this page either, leaving information about the community area very lacking in some areas.

    The Discord is likely going to be the main area where any and all attendees get their information from, either first-hand through announcements or by asking someone nearby who will have the information to hand. Next year there should be way more announcements throughout the course of the weekend to keep people informed, and dedicated volunteers or staff members available in the questions-and-support channel considering the amount of time sensitive questions that got asked there and were left unanswered for a long period of time.

    Outside of the main issues with Queuecon, there also needed to be a dedicated queueing space for the Monarch Stage in my opinion. This was something the Jubilee Stage had outside and I think a space like that would have benefited Monarch, especially as several popular events had to have their queues wrangled in order to keep traffic flow clear, which led to me and my partner getting seats for the Hololive Justice panel that were far above what we expected just due to being in the right place to be wrangled near to the front of the queue. This might be down to Monarch having four entrances rather than just one, but for the Starlight and Wonder concert we all used one entrance and just fanned out anyway so the logistics can work with one entrance and a whole lot of NEC security wrangling to make an organised queue.

    The layout of artist alley was better this year, though I found myself struggling with how busy some booths were and how it caused queues to form in the middle of already busy areas, leading to me avoiding that area until things had quietened down to actually do shopping with specific artists I wanted to visit. This has already been discussed in the Discord about spacing between booths next year, but it will be interesting to see if they can keep the layout logical whilst reducing these issues.

    This next one has also been mentioned in the Discord but it would be nice to see dedicated gaming areas return. I know Fireshine Games had two laptops which you could play Denshattack on, and there were dedicated play areas for both OshiPush and Hololive OCG (the latter of which I realise now I should have used more especially to ask questions about card purchasing), but I know a lot of people are hankering for dedicated video game spaces as there were in years prior, and I feel “attendee versus VTuber” events would be super popular with the right games. For me at least it would act as a nice area to zone out whilst still having the ability to interact with others at the convention outside of the dedicated bench areas.

    Also add more bench and rest areas next year if possible please. They always seem to fill up so fast and whilst there is plenty of space outside the convention hall to sit, being able to stay inside the hall and sit amongst the nerds is definitely a plus.

    This next one is a semi-serious suggestion but given the amount of cheering and arm movement that goes on alongside people walking around in shoes of various quality for hours at a time, any chance of a massage booth being included? I know I would have shelled out for an arm massage the state mine were in by the end of it all, and I cannot be the only one who would feel the same way.

    Honestly though, the fact my complaints this time around boil down to queue logistics and wanting a touch more variety in activities shows how much of a fun time I had at this convention. The subtitle for this piece is “a failing body with a full heart”, and I hope that vibe comes across in how I speak about my time over this weekend.

    GRATUTIOUS HAUL PHOTOS, BABY!

    I cannot do a Vexpo reflection and recap post without trying my best to highlight all of the amazing art and merchandise I picked up.

    First off we have this gorgeous set of prints from Snip Snip Studio. Initially I had only planned to buy Nerissa and Matara but then they pointed out they had a 4 for 3 deal on, and encouraged me to buy Liz because “Nerissa can’t be without her girlfriend”… and then I added Raora cause I love her so much.

    After that we have this gorgeous Matara Kan charm that will either go on my backpack or my dress next year from the wonderful Doodlenab.

    We have my haul from the Hololive stand up next, having grabbed a Shiori Novella LED bracelet from the Serendipity merch with a match penlight strap from the All For One merch… can you tell I like Shiori? Do not know how much it comes across in other photos.

    Up next we have the stuff I grabbed from Moog, considering how busy she was I was glad she was not sold out of the Liz Tree standees, and I just had to grab Tako Takover Ina as well.

    Considering how much I loved the anthem, I could not walk away from this year’s Vexpo without grabbing a physical copy of World Wide Wonder… the real play would have been to get it before I met Wunder Riku and Starlight Daryl on random chance to try get it signed but I was not working that many moves ahead.

    Whilst in the 18+ area I was told to go over to HonekoAo’s booth for amazing art, and it turned out I had actually bought from her last year for a sticker, so this year I came away with an Ina and Matara card.

    I wanted to get more merch of Densetsu.EXE this time around, and this gorgeous glitter shikishi board from Mori definitely fit the bill of what I was looking for. Plus this was another returning purchase as I had bought an Advent shikishi board the year prior.

    The Densetsu.EXE theme continues on with my purchase from rorobun, with this gorgeous acrylic standee of all of the girls jumping out from an explosion in the same vein as the Hot-Blooded Heroine music video.

    Finally, these were not bought but given to me as part of the Serendipity screening, but these are from an artist called Kiosko who did work for Studio Inkcraft, an independent game studio making a mystery-themed visual novel Hololive fangame.

    Reflection

    I have been talking far too long at this point considering I am about to hit the 12000 word mark and this has taken me almost the entire week to write when I was able to crank out last year’s post in around four hours so I will try, possibly in vain, to keep this brief.

    Vexpo 2026 restarted my heart in ways I did not think were possible. I had most definitely been atrophying a fair bit since my layoff at the end of May and I still do not really know how to bring myself out of that hole.

    This convention has reminded me why I desperately need to get out of that hole by any means necessary.

    The weekend was absolutely magical, in ways I have described and ways I feel I cannot describe. A rare occurrence where I can so thoroughly destroy my body in the most positive way and come out smiling on the other end even if everything aches from head to toe.

    VTuber fans are some of the coolest people to hang around, and the fact Vexpo attracts people from all over the UK, all over Europe, and even further afield than that shows how special an event this is to the VTuber world as a whole. I hope Hololive comes back next year to give me another chance of meeting my oshis, I hope guests from the past are able to return with how much space next year’s convention is supposed to have, and I hope that anyone that was inspired by the events of this year comes back next year with a new perspective or maybe even a new persona.

    Heck this article is pretty much just my own personal experience, there were several adventures and encounters on my partner’s side that I could talk about as well.

    But I want to get this out there, and I want to put these reflections to bed so I can actually work on other writing projects now.

    Thank you Vexpo 2026. For all of your scuff issues when it comes to communication and queueing, there is literally no other place I would have rather been over the course of the weekend than the halls of the NEC. I will be back, and I will keep working to make sure I can experience a weekend like this next year, and in all the years to come.

    This took far too fucking long to write and cover everything in detail but I fucking did it.

    Thank you for reading this multiple days worth of Redundancy Review that took multiple days to write. My initial plan was to work on this Monday and Tuesday with the goal of getting it out to coincide with VTuesday but that went completely out the window. Hopefully now I can get back to work on your regularly scheduled content that is six times smaller than this.

    Wherever you are, I hope you are doing well. If I met you at Vexpo, thank you for taking the time to talk with me.

    I am so dead.

    I cannot even say “send caffeine” cause I do not think it will help right now.

    Help.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 462, “Vexpo Bound”

    Redundancy Review: Day 462, “Vexpo Bound”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning VTubers and VSingers, welcome to Day 462 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    It is now scarily close to my Vexpo trip, and after a heart-to-heart moment with my partner last night set right any leftover negative emotions from my breakdown, we are now earnestly planning our trip.

    Well, I say earnestly, it is mainly picking out what clothes we want to wear, what sort of activities we want to do, and what supplies we want for our hotel room – including the all important deodorant and shower supplies because good god we do not want to be the kind of people who do not shower at a convention carrying the smell of several days worth of body odour with us.

    Even when it comes to activities we are probably going to be very freeform. Outside of the several concerts I have booked myself into over the course of the weekend and my two Meet & Greets, there is a feeling of approaching the trip in a more freeform style. I know I definitely want to meet a fair few people that I either met last year and want to say hello to again and a lot of new people I want to take the opportunity to meet for the first time.

    My main goal is to have a weekend where I forget about all my problems for a change, especially considering the difficulties of the past couple of months. I want to cheer for my oshis on stage, I want to spend time with awesome people who hold like-minded interests, I want to eat so much junk food my veins feel clogged up.

    That said, I am still going to try pace myself, both for my energy constraints and for the fact that I am not really a massive party person. I like socialising for sure, but when it comes to loud party atmospheres and lots of people drinking, there is a certain amount of discomfort that comes into play that can make it hard for me to branch out of my shell. It is not something I really want to “change” or “fix” in myself, as I am happy with the ways I like to socialise with others, mainly just reflecting on how I may approach this weekend.

    Considering my Saturday is pretty much clear outside of any potential meetups and the premium concert in the evening, that may be my best opportunity to meet people, browse Artist Alley, and attend any interesting panels that catch my eye. There is definitely some lingering saltiness over the Meet & Greets I was not able to win or snag during the First Come First Served sale, but I do not want to dwell on it and make the most of the weekend all the same.

    I am a VTuber fan, through and through, and I want to make this the best weekend I have ever had. After that, I want to get back to work on making sure I can keep attending events like this in future, and make even more memories that I will treasure forever.

    Considering the theme of the article, and that Vexpo themselves posted an official 2026 theme song written by the composer duo of Starlight & Wonder and sung by…

    …about one third of the guest list looking at the credits, I think this makes a perfectly appropriate review topic if only because I have not actually listened to it properly yet.

    Small side tangent before we start, I hope I am able to run into Wunder Riku outside of his and Daryl’s meet & greet. I saw him briefly in the lobby of the hotel we were staying at right as we were going to leave and would have loved to talk to him if I was not so damn tired, and I would love to get my Sana plushie blessed by him. 

    It might be my lingering emotions from my breakdown, the residual saltiness from the Meet & Greet raffles, or the fact that music is a massive part of why I fell in love with the VTuber scene in the first place, but my first listen through this song made me tear up a little bit. I am either too young or my general music taste too misaligned to understand the aesthetic Starlight & Wonder were going for with the Y2K theming around the convention as a whole, but it absolutely holds up as a massive group idol song – a mightily difficult task when you have so many different voices all singing together.

    The opening lyrics really lend themselves to how the phenomenon of VTubing has spread across the world, with the ability to connect so many people and cultures together through the power of the internet… with a wonderful stealth reference to the two composers as well:

    “Open your eyes and see the stars above
    In every heart that’s filled with love

    It’s world-wide now
    We’ll shine wider still
    Till this world wide wonder
    Of starlight comes our way
    ”

    Admittedly I feel a little bad that I have not listened to much of Starlight Daryl’s work on its own, considering I mainly know more of Riku’s work than hers, but given this is my first proper exposure to her talents, I really need to change that because this song is fantastic.

    I will apologise now for the fact this is mainly going to be me gushing about lyrics and how much I love the positive messages that idol songs can give out, because I find myself stopping the song every fifteen seconds or so to simply bask in how wonderful and amazing they all are.

    “Because the hope you gave me
    Somehow saved me
    By teaching me to dream”

    This one hits particularly hard for me, because whilst my wonderful friends have put in a lot of effort to keeping me on track during my harder days, the VTubers I follow across both corporations and independents have inspired me to carry on, and showed me that dreams are possible with the right work so long as the effort persists across all days. I would not be sitting here right now writing about VTubers if those emotions were not present, and pushing my writing into the wider world would not be possible if I did not believe that someday, something will come from it.

    “I hear a voice upon the wind that keeps on whispering
    Today’s the greatest day to start”

    This one hits way harder than it should do holy shit.

    Ahem.

    Both the lyrics themselves and who is singing them combine together to make these hit home. Matara Kan is a massive inspiration to myself, and the fact I got the chance to meet her last year still stays with me today (yes I have still not got over her calling me stylish), with her continued resilience in the face of a difficult year being a massive inspiration.

    Only to then have all of Densetsu.exe join in with one of the best pieces of advice you can give to anyone aspiring to any goal. Today will always be the greatest day to start any venture, and whilst I do not have full-spread exposure to all of Densetsu.exe that I would like to, seeing the adorable wide eyes of Phoebe-chan’s model accompanied with those words made the tears flow once more.

    Also I did want to meet Mint just so we could gush about Ace Combat 8 together.

    Finally, I am going to finish off with the some of the lyrics Wunder Riku himself highlighted at the end of a very long Twitter post about the process of creating the song which I absolutely think you should read as it goes into so much detail about how this wonderful piece came together that definitely resonated with me:

    “For every broken soul upon the earth
    Till every lonely voice is heard

    We won’t stop now
    We’ll shine brighter still”

    I have used the word “broken” to describe myself in the wake of my last layoff. My confidence broke, my spirit broke, and at points my mind has broken as well, and each day is me trying to find the pieces and glue it all back together. It has also been a lonely experience, especially in my field of tech where it seems like everyone is going through similar moments of layoffs destroying lives with zero rhyme or reason. 

    But that is the wonder of online communities, especially the VTuber community. A lot of us were exiles growing up, for how we looked, for what we enjoyed, and for who we were at the core of our identities. Through the magic of the internet, we all found each other, and so many come together each day to create wonderful works of art that resonate in the hearts of any like-minded individual.

    As silly as this will sound, this song reminds me of why I do what I do on this site. Loneliness is one of the biggest challenges facing people of all generations around the world right now, and if it were not for the combined efforts of my friends, my partner, and me being involved in VTubers, I think I would have ended up a far lonelier person. So now I want to use my voice to speak for so many people like me, all of us facing career, financial, and political instability each day, in the hopes that my experiences will help someone else feel less lonely and that they belong in this world, whatever hardship is facing them.

    Thank you, Starlight & Wonder. Thank you to all the amazing talents participating in this song. Thank you to Vexpo for facilitating it all and making it happen.

    I know I am about to have an amazing weekend.

    Thumbnail pic courtesy of the Bandcamp listing for the song, which is the best way to support the artists involved directly.

    That will do it for the penultimate review before I head out later this week. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you know you are not alone. There are so many wonderful people out in this world that would love to meet you, and I know you will find the people you relate to most one day.

    Stay safe out there.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 455, “Is existence enough?”

    Redundancy Review: Day 455, “Is existence enough?”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning go-getters and bread-getters, welcome to Day 455 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    It finally happened.

    The first consecutive post since 11th June which was almost three months ago holy shit.

    A prophecy that was foretold in ancient scrolls has finally come to pass, and I write two days in a row once more… although I have no idea what to ramble about other than to simply throw out what is on my mind.

    I ended up sleeping in hard this morning, waking up to the sound of my alarm before doing the one thing you should try never to do when unemployed and going back to sleep. On paper, I “lost” about an hour of time that could have been used in other ways, though I tend to view these types of calculations in a more nuanced way, if solely because I know I would not be at prime functionality waking up at that initial time anyway, spending what could be viewed as a “productive” hour shaking off grogginess and waiting for coffee to kick in anyway.

    Although the above definitely reads as some amount of cope for the fact without a job, I struggle staying in a healthy routine. Staying up at late hours on weekdays doing not a whole lot of anything except zoning out to Youtube videos to numb how I am feeling which leads into sleeping in hard during the mornings to compensate for staying up that late, before dragging myself out of bed to work on whatever small bits of upkeep I can manage and perform the accursed task of job searching once more.

    Even on days where I manage to get applications done or make a good amount of progress around the house, I cannot help but feel a sense of stagnation, or rather, a feeling of yearning for what my life was like with a job. Being on the hunt for a new role is repetitive as all hell with little variation in how things play out.

    Fill in personal details, fill in supporting statements, fill in references. Double check everything you wrote down. Tweak it here and there to make it more suitable to the role. Have friends check it over. Tweak it further. Send it off. Get ghosted. Feel sad. Start the whole cycle again.

    I am no stranger to repetitive work, my primary field of quality assurance relies on performing repetitive tasks in different permutations to see where things break. Automation can minimise a lot of these tasks, but checking other paths through an experience is often something that needs to be done by hand to find where real humans will find friction or frustration.

    But there is a stark difference between the repetitive nature of job hunting versus having a repetitive job… outside of the obvious pressures that come with being unemployed.

    The main thing I miss is socialising with my colleagues over morning standup. We would often get onto the tasks for the day fairly quickly but those five minutes a day where we would chat about any random shit that had come up in any of our lives is something I was not anticipating to miss, but I find myself yearning for even the smallest conversations before getting on with things for the day.

    For all the talk I do about being a remote-first individual who will advocate for remote work in almost any role that can accommodate it, maybe office socialisation would not be so bad for me in the long run – especially if I am finding myself pining for the most basic and bland social interaction that comes in a professional environment.

    My train of thought went off on a tangent far removed from what I was intending to talk about today, but that is the magic of the Redundancy Review. A peek inside the psyche of someone on the borderline between Gen Z and Millenial, somehow finding myself sympathising with the struggles of each generation in the problem I currently face.

    What I was actually wanting to talk about today are those days where all I will really do is passively exist, where everything I need to get done in a day happens, but it feels as if nothing has ultimately happened except for the fact I have existed on that day. In some respect it could be a sign of declining mental health in the face of adversity, that days roll by into each other with no clear definition as to what happened on each day leading into existence feeling homogenised.

    I like to view it with a different lens though, one specifically of finding the positive within overtly shitty situations. For a start, being able to wake up each day in a body that feels comfortable to me is an absolute blessing that I know not many others have, and is the result of years of estrogen taking its effect. Could my body be better? Absolutely, but the work continues each day.

    Additionally, being able to wake up as a trans person each day and try to survive in a world that oftentimes feels insanely hostile to people like me feels like an accomplishment in and of itself. Holding on to hope that the world can become a better place than it is right now and wanting the world to be better when I eventually leave it are two similar ideals that help keep me persevering through the harder days.

    Sometimes, continuing to exist is all that matters in order to see another day where you can live life to the fullest.

    Outside of it being three months since my last consecutive post, it has also been just under three months since my last VTuesday and well… there is a lot I could cover. While I was gone there was a number of big releases on both my Hololive and indie fronts:

    Hololive English Justice released an original group song called “SUPERNOVA SUPER GIRL”, a high energy bop which I do not listen to often but have a super soft spot for.

    Hololive English Advent released another original song called “Spotlight”, an inspirational little number with the amazingly godlike lyric of “Aurafarming baddies in a getaway car” partway through.

    Hololive English as a whole had their fourth concert titled “Serendipity” alongside the official MV for the title song release, which I get to see a screening of this concert in under a week’s time as part of my Vexpo trip which I definitely will talk about soon.

    Shiori Novella, one of my Hololive English oshi released a four part motion comic series detailing an original story involving the Archiver herself and several other holomems in an emotional tale with some light moments that does not constitute as official canon what the hell?

    And whilst this happened before my long VTuber discussion hiatus, Rin Penrose debuted a new model that is insanely more expressive than his old one and started uploading regular videos on old Flash games which has definitely become part of my regular entertainment regime.

    So… there is a lot I missed, a lot I could discuss, and to be honest a lot of it I will probably stick in a backlog and work on it as time passes, but today I want to talk about something recent released in the Hololive space, specifically a cover song by Mori Calliope and Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame, of a hype anthem that has inspired anime fans to do the impossible, see the invisible, and fight the power.

    Yes I am fully aware paraphrasing the song is cringe as hell, but I absolutely do not care considering Gurren Lagann holds a special place in my heart. It was the first anime series I ever watched fully as a semi-aware teenager, of course I had watched Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and individual episodes of other famous series before that point, but Gurren Lagann was my first experience of watching a story all the way through and I came out the other side a changed person.

    Gurren Lagann has its weird moments, as do all anime, but I struggle to think of any definition to it other than “pure art”, a story about human perseverance in the face of impossible odds, and using those impossible odds to push your own evolution beyond its limit to overcome any obstacle in your path. 

    And I think a song that blends opera singing and rap music into a song that punctuates the most awesome mecha battles you have ever seen is the perfect definition of doing something impossible to come out with the best result.

    The opera lyrics are in Latin, and tell the story of someone praying to a god to grant them peace, rest, and sanctuary in the fact of an oncoming apocalypse, which is perfectly contrasted with the rap lyrics being about taking what you want for yourself and not letting anything, not even a god, get in your way as the song ends with the two singers dueling to be heard until all that remains is the rap singer repeating those immortal words.

    “Row! Row! Fight the power!”

    That is enough about the song itself, so what do I think of Mori and Liz singing it?

    Absolute.

    Perfection.

    There is no other way to describe this. Two singers who have diametrically opposed vocal styles, arguably two of the greatest voices in Hololive English (I love you too Nerissa) coming together to utilise their own strengths into something beautiful. I knew Liz had pipes, but I was not fully prepared for how powerful her voice was going to be in the opera parts.

    As for Mori, I actually tend to flip-flop on where I think her voice shines best. There are some of her originals where I cannot help but bop along, special shoutout to Grim Reaper is a Live-Streamer for the first original of hers where I fully appreciated her talents, but at the same time there are some songs where I listen to them and I can tell she is trying her damnedest and either the lyrics do not sit right with me or I do not think her vocal style matches the song.

    (disclaimer: not a professional music person, might be talking out my arse)

    However, there are no such qualms with her approach to the rap on this song. In fact I think it might be some of her best vocal work yet, especially when the two of them reach the dueling segment as she starts out quiet with the opera overpowering her before she rises up in the mix to overpower any feelings of hopelessness.

    Oh, and the entire thing is topped off by the key art being drawn by an artist known as Hyde/@Tabakko, an artist who I primarily follow for our shared love of a certain white fox friend, but is able to create these beautifully detailed pieces on commission for various Holomem projects, with Mori as Simon and Liz as Kamina with her fucking chest flame having little Kamina glasses on them being a small detail that elevates this from a gorgeous piece of art to a true homage to the source material.

    Given the recent news of all of the Hololive branches merging into one, dropping the identifiers of “English”, “Indonesia”, and “DEV_IS” to unify everything under a single “hololive” name, and the usual anxiety that comes from any big high-level company plays like this, it reminds me of how I have always chosen to view Hololive as a company.

    The main purpose of Hololive is to bring talented people together to create amazing works of art, original or interpretative. Hololive acts as a catalyst to these projects, helping talents access resources they would not be able to otherwise and provide connections to make projects like this come into reality.

    But the source of all these projects are the girls behind the talents, and those are the ones who need the support in whatever they do. Whether it is whilst they are still in Hololive and working the best they can within a corporate structure, or when they graduate to go do their own thing, supporting the talents at any point in their journey is the best thing to do.

    And as the somewhat Skyline Serenade concert has been able to show, you do not always need corporate backing to come together to create something magical. Sometimes all it takes is the perseverance of a few talented individuals, and those around them who can help enable amazing projects.

    Not only did I write consecutively, I wrote way more than I anticipated for how I was feeling today. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing good in these challenging times. We can make it through together, and I know we can see a brighter day on the horizon.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 372-378, “On-Track Tuesdays”

    Redundancy Review: Day 372-378, “On-Track Tuesdays”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning pyromancers and firebenders, welcome to Day 372-378 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    It is too damn hot.

    But I have fled my flat into the safe confines of a place with air conditioning, and considering I have a habit of trying to get the schedule back on track on Tuesdays, may as well take advantage of being in a better space to help my mind write out what I have been feeling lately.

    The lack of reviews and my emotional state are quite entwined right now, because the worst thing I feel is that I have almost entirely lost my drive to be myself. I was always a person who prided themselves on being someone who persevered through it all, never letting boulders get in my way, and kept moving.

    I do not feel anything like that anymore.

    Avoiding falling into doomerism is the hardest challenge I am coming across right now. Every day feels like a constant struggle to not let my negative thoughts and feelings win, to do as I said in my last review and stay positive. 

    The pain still feels raw in my mind, even though I have not been out of the job for even a month yet, but each day feels longer than the last and finding the strength to do anything is getting extremely hard, which then makes it harder to write because even though I want to present the messiness of the modern job search experience as part of the Redundancy Review, a part of me does not want this to become “Rosa rants into the void in the hopes someone will hear her”.

    Within the scope of my current industry, I am one of ten of thousands – if not hundreds of thousands – who is out of work for various reasons. Lack of funding, AI taking business, shifting market conditions, AI taking business, greed of the C-Suite, AI taking business…

    …you know after writing that out it kind of feels like I wrote the same thing six times in a row rather than it being an attempt at a joke about one of the leading causes around software redundancies right now.

    Tangent aside, I am ultimately not special in the current landscape of tech workers in 2026. All of us are struggling with issues regarding self-esteem after layoffs, financial concerns in the short, medium, and long term, and wondering if the industry that some of us still love will ever recover to the point where we could come back.

    And then I fall into another category, a rapidly growing category if my browsing on LinkedIn means anything.

    The ones who are done with it all.

    The ones who do not want to take the strain or stress anymore.

    The ones saying goodbye for good, contributing to a greater industry brain drain that I do not think AI will be able to compensate for in the slightest without a massive downgrade in quality output – especially when you consider QA is often the first to go when these kinds of layoffs come around.

    Combine this with the reluctance to hire junior talent, and the industry as a whole is moving towards a collapse that may not be coming imminently, but will arrive when things break beyond repair and no one is left to fix them.

    I started this talking about tech, but everything I have said also applies to the games industry as well, and I genuinely think we are in the midst of the next big video games crash, spurred on by lack of original ideas coming out of studios and spiking hardware costs thanks to – you guessed it – AI data centres taking up all of the market for components.

    You know what, while I am here making predictions about various industries, I am going to write out my genuine prediction for how AI will take shape in the coming years.

    It is not a difficult task to recognise I am against Generative AI. It has pervaded my hobby spaces in a horrendously parasitic way that has taken away my ability to enjoy things on a first glance without having to look for the telltale signs of generated imagery, it has made components for PCs more expensive in a way that is taking a massive toll on the industry and making me panic whenever I think my components are glitching out, and ultimately, I think the window for it in its current form to be utilised in any productive way has long since passed, especially when the executive mind just sees it as a way to cut costs.

    But we have gone through a period where NFTs were the next big thing, and even though crypto is not in the news as much as AI is nowadays, there is still a dedicated space for crypto related topics and there is a business going on around it.

    Generative AI in its current form will probably fall off massively within the next half decade. After the capex dries up for data centres, after the venture capital dries up for salaries, or maybe as the lakes dry up for both of the above, the bubble will burst leaving a massive toll on the economy.

    After that, machine learning based AI is likely to take the forefront and dominate the next evolution instead. A lot of machine learning applications have already taken to branding themselves as “AI” to hop on the gravy train of getting more investment and eyes on the tool – looking firmly at you Grammarly – but it is also where the more practical uses of AI can be found in medical imaging, protein folding, and assistance tools across multiple industries.

    We are in a cycle of hype right now, where the ones in charge are desperate to get people hooked to keep this cycle going, and once it is all over, there will be plenty of R&D to build a better foundation for something more utilitarian to take the place of Generative AI.

    One I hope actually achieves the talking point of “AI and humans” rather than having all of the big heads spout it as a way to save their arses.

    Feels weird to have called this “On-Track Tuesdays” when I have changed track multiple times as I write this out, and now I have to derail myself from “serious and semi-nuanced takes on the tech landscape” to “god I love virtual puppetry”.

    It is still VTuesday after all, and my unemployment has given me more time to enjoy actual streams from talents rather than engaging in VODs or music as I am normally one to do. Even if I am only able to catch the end of an eight hour stream of Hollow Knight (thank you Biboo) or if I can watch something from start to finish to zone out to, it feels nice to engage in one of my hobbies live rather than living in catch up land.

    Before I was only able really able to catch small amounts of streams when I had bandwidth to put them on in the background as I worked, which is why I was able to watch so many different Holomems play Monster Hunter World during the whole “Return to World” push around the time of Monster Hunter Wilds starting marketing itself.

    One of these talents is one I have mentioned before, the very fluffy fox of Hololive 1st Generation, Shirakami Fubuki. A VTuber in contention for my all-time favourite from JP, often referred to as “kamioshi” in community lingo, my infatuation started the same way it started with a lot of HoloJP members: through their music.

    And then one day, I saw Fubuki streaming Monster Hunter World. I only really tend to engage with the JP side of things when it is something I am able to understand without needing to understand Japanese. Monster Hunter falls perfectly into this category, as I do not need to understand a single word of what is being said or any word on screen because the universal language of “oh shit I am about to be crushed into soup by an Anjanath” is universal.

    Watching Fubuki stream World is one of the best memories I have as a Hololive fan, not only for getting to watch someone I admire greatly play a game I love, but also because it has bore a running joke with me and my partner from seeing a Dodogama – my all time favourite monster – absolutely body an endgame monster in a fight, all the while she was cheering “DODOGAMU!” in the hopes he would win, which now causes me to shout that whenever I see a Dodogama.

    But ultimately, I follow Fubuki for her music, which is the subject of today’s piece… kind of.

    Cause whilst it is a Fubuki song I want to talk about today, it is not the original.

    KONKON Beats is Fubuki’s fourth original song, initially released on October 6th 2022. It is my… second… third… favourite of her original songs, but one I still love dearly nonetheless for its catchy beat, amazing MV courtesy of Haru, and a chorus I cannot help but dance along to given how simple the moves are for it as shown in this short from the fox herself.

    This is a cover from her genmate Ookami Mio, one who has a close relationship with Fubuki and sang this song in the 2024 Hololive Shuffle mix, where talents found themselves swapping outfits and singing each other’s songs as one big showcase as part of the New Year’s show. Unrelated to the topic, I miss this shuffle mix so dearly, it was such a fun way to showcase other talent’s songs in a fun way and I am so sad it never made a return past 2024.

    Mio does not change any of the lyrics as part of the cover, which gives some segments a wholesome touch. Sadly Fubuki does not put official English lyrics on her MVs, which makes it hard to do lyrical analysis due to the variety of unofficial translations available, but I will be working from this video from Pina on Youtube.

    The chorus goes as follows:

    “KON KON KON
    Yes I’m head over heels for this fox
    Knock knock knock

    Open your heart
    Cause I got the feeling that everything’s gonna be alright
    Now, I’ll cast a spell to bewitch you”

    It is specifically the second line of the chorus that gets me in the wholesome feels when taken in the context of Mio’s cover. In the grand scheme of things they are just colleagues, but like last week’s discussion of CCGG Madness showed, Hololive has the wonderful of having colleagues turn into close friends that you can rely on in tough moments whilst also being able to produce wonderful art alongside them, which Mio saying “I’m head over heels for this fox” definitely helps emphasise.

    The ending of this MV also helps to reinforce that, with absolutely gorgeous art of Mio and Fubuki performing together on stage at Our Sparkle, Mio’s first official solo live concert, reinforcing that Mio sees Fubuki as a trusted colleague and close friend, and wants to keep performing with her for however long her career may last.

    There is no way to predict the future when it comes to how long talents can stay, but the important part is to cherish them while they are still around. Fubuki has had an illustrious eight-year career with Hololive up until now, and there are no signs of her stopping any time soon, but regardless of what happens, I will always keep the memories I have with her close to my heart.

    Started this review talking about how I have lost drive, with the person behind the keyboard worrying about how much she would be able to write, and I end up doing almost two-thousand words entirely within the confines of this cafe over the course of about an hour and a half.

    Pretty good work if you ask me, now if only I could do it consistently.

    Regardless, thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are able to relax today and stay away from the heat. It is boiling hot in the UK and even the measures I take inside the flat do not work too well. Hopefully the end of the week cools down a bit and I do not have to stress too much about cooling down.

    I say that, and my intention tomorrow is travelling to my parent’s place to make sure my mum’s plants survive – pray for me.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 367-371, “Staying Positive”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning pioneers and explorers, welcome to Day 367 to 371 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    No, I am not ashamed for empahsising that number, thank you for asking.

    And if you did not notice, now you do.

    Small moments of brevity like this are what helps to keep my morale up when a lot of my life is shifting in drastic ways around me. From hanging out with friends to share silly jokes, to sitting down and playing video games with people I care about deeply, taking that time where possible really helps to stop my mood completely plummeting into negativity.

    That is not to say I am completely immune to negative moments, and admittedly the reason I am writing about this topic today is because my mind has been fixated on so many negative things that I want to try talk about what I do to stay positive in the face of massive life changes.

    One of the simplest things I have found positivity in ever since losing my job has been the ability to drink coffee without it feeling like a crutch or something that is “essential” for me to function through the day. Granted, I am someone who still needs an amount of stimulants in my system in order to be at my peak, but there have been moments where I think to myself, “I want a coffee”, rather than “Oh dear god I need coffee right now”, and because my day is dictated at my own pace currently I do not need to gulp it down as fast as possible to get the blood pumping.

    I think in general the fact I am taking life at a slower pace currently is both helping and hindering my mindset. Helping in that I do not feel constantly rushed by everything going on and the pseudo-urgency of corporate deadlines so I can work on projects at a comfortable speed rather than feeling ashamed that I am not doing everything all at once to make sure things get done.

    Though, it hinders me because some days all I feel I am doing is filling the time with activities to do nothing but distract me because I will get to the end of the day feeling accomplished with what I have done before the realisation sets in that I have to do it all again tomorrow and the things I did do have not sufficiently made me tired enough to sleep, leading to a restless night as negative thoughts creep back in.

    To borrow a quote from Umamusume Pretty Derby Season 2: “Has one day… always been this long?”. Fucking heartbreaking line in context, but it is one I have found myself relating to a lot these past days.

    Writing helps as well, but, some days it definitely feels harder to have the bandwidth to sit down and recount what I have been feeling, or even feel settled long enough to write something coherent about my day… which is weird to say on my writing blog.

    I do not want to call it “writer’s block”, because I do not particularly feel blocked on what I want to say, but whenever I try to write recently my head feels unbearably full with me needing to force myself to focus…

    …the fun part about being consistently inconsistent is that I wrote this paragraph, took a break, and then ended up sleeping for two hours before needing to do evening errands.

    I think I am going to skip ahead to the review, as it talks about a VTuber song I have wanted to discuss for ages and I do not want to lose another VTuesday along the way because I cannot write a preamble piece.

    So let the madness commence!

    The Hololive English Justice pair of Cecilia Immergeen and Gigi Murin is lovingly referred to as “Autofister”, due to Ceciilia being an ancient automaton and Gigi being… the fister.

    Cause of her massive power fists.

    These two are an absolutely chaotic pair with an amazing onscreen dynamic, Gigi’s chaos perfectly contrasting with Cece’s reluctance to play along whilst trying to maintain somewhat of a reserved facade, with both of them eventually aligning on things and letting all hell break loose.

    This is perfectly reflected in their annoyingly catchy song, with several fun visual gags throughout including:

    • “I’m fifty shades of fucked up”
    • Recreating The Creation of Adam but with their designs
    • The “argument” before the final chorus starting by showing the editing timeline of the video
    • And honestly the entire argument sequence is filled with great on-screen gags inbetween the two of them bickering in the background

    The part I want to highlight in particular is the bridge that comes right after the argument, as I feel those lyrics really resonate with what Autofister means:

    “All our fun must come to an end
    But at least you’ve found a friend
    So let us play and stay forever

    Now together!”

    These two came together as colleagues in Justice, but have formed a genuine and sincere friendship together that generates extremely memorable moments on stream, but does so in an extremely heartwarming way to see the two of them interact. If it were not for Hololive, there is a good chance these two would not have found each other, and even through the company’s many persistent issues, there is still beauty to be found in what the girls can create together.

    Feels like I have not written a lot, but there is only so much I feel I can do analysis wise on a song that is ultimately just a very silly project between two friends who work together. Give it a listen, I went through it three times as part of writing this and I am not even starting to get sick of listening to it.

    As the title suggests, it helps me stay positive.

    Thumbnail picture inbound…

    Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing well.

    Let us keep doing our best every day.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 338-357, “Decisions, Decisions”

    Redundancy Review: Day 338-357, “Decisions, Decisions”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning pots and kettles, welcome to Day 338 to 357 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    May 29th was the last day of my contract with my previous company. I leave on good terms and whilst I do wish things could have turned out differently, the nature of layoffs is to cut costs to give the business the best chance of survival when things get hard.

    So, what comes next?

    Decisions.

    Decisions.

    Decisions.

    Some amount of waiting as well, as I currently have two open job applications that I need to wait to see if I get an interview or not, but if those do not go my way for whatever reason, a lot of personal decisions for myself.

    One of the most pressing is deciding what I want to do as a career going forward. Early on after getting told I was going to be let go, I made a decision that I wanted to move away from the tech industry as a whole. My intention is to keep the door slightly open, partially because a good majority of my connections are within this industry, and partially because I feel I could jump back in if the right opportunity came along which somehow also managed to align with the direction I want my life to go.

    But that alignment feels unlikely to happen. Even with only a short amount of time to view myself from outside the tech industry, I can see a more positive future if I slowly start to decouple myself from the professional identity I have built over the last five years.

    Admin or communications are the main things that come to mind, if I want to redirect myself into a more corporate-style focus. Working with data, organising others, or being able to use my writing skills for a positive influence in an organisation.

    There is a perspective in my mind that putting myself back into a corporate environment is “stifling” my own potential, when all of my major skill advancement and career moves have been within the same startup environment, giving me the flexibility and freedom to build myself up within the same place by adopting new roles as they appear. 

    However, and this might come off as a bit controversial, but at this stage of my life, I would happily trade freedom and flexibility for a bureaucratic structure if it gave me even a modicum of job security, especially when it would give me a launching pad for the other activities I want to do in life. 

    My goal in life is to try be evolving constantly. For the last five years, this was a career-focused goal, of pushing myself beyond my limits in work, climbing the ladder, and seeing where I could end up in that regard.

    Having the ladder shatter beneath my feet twice within the span of the years has honestly left me kind of disillusioned with that whole notion, and has made me realise little time I have taken to evolve myself over the last two years or so. I have my Rambles, but I have not really taken time to develop it in the way I want to outside of a few standout Redundancy Reviews.

    I need to work more on original fiction, which was something I did tonnes of back in 2022, and gives me the ability to be more creative with my storytelling or work on writing prompts that I find interesting, or even just scratch out a random story based on the most simple things.

    Which leads in nicely to my other main decision: when do I want to go all in on job hunting again? Well, the most forward answer is: “Right now what the fuck are you talking about do you know how fucked the market is and how long it takes to find the kind of job you are describing?!”

    But, that is exactly why I am hesitating on when I want to dedicate myself to the job hunt, which is a full-time activity in and of itself. I want to recover from the stress of my previous role, I want to work on my own projects as an artist, and I want to be in the best position possible before I throw myself into the seemingly never-ending grind that is finding a corporate position in the current market.

    The obvious worry of this approach is financials. The cost of living in the UK is high, no thanks to successive governments not doing anything to help that in the slightest, and spending any length of time unemployed is not going to help my monetary outlook, especially as my partner is not exactly rolling in cash from his part-time job – though he is also looking for full-time work himself, which has its own set of difficulties exclusive to him.

    On the flipside though, in the face of several irresponsible financial decisions I have made over the course of my life, I think I have more of a safety cushion than my contemporaries in Gen Z, which gives me a surprising amount of runway for both job hunting prospects and working on my own projects.

    And that is assuming I do nothing at all, which would include not taking commissions (which I am always open for get in touch if you are curious) or selling any of my collectable items, which I am currently working through the notion of selling a good chunk of my Magic card collection.

    Not for overt dislike of the game, but more because I am sitting on a good number of expensive cards that are gathering dust in a binder, and that I am unlikely to buy any new sealed product in future because Hasbro’s management of the game has fully put me off investing any more money into it.

    The road ahead looks rocky, but when times look hard, I keep the immortal words of Phoebe-chan in my head.

    My love of VTubers will definitely keep my spirits up as I navigate the days ahead, segueing me nicely into a VTuesday segment where I am actually going to talk about something recently released for a change rather than picking something from the backlog of awesome VTuber-related things I want to write about.

    Specifically, the second original song from Densetsu.EXE, a VTuber idol group formed of Phoebe-Chan, Mint Fantôme, and Victoria Roman: “Burn On! Hot-Blooded Heroine”

    So, I have mentioned Phoebe-chan before, my partner and I met at her Vexpo last year with her opening concert performance leaving a lasting impact on me to the point I bought her album and my partner bought a lightstick. Specifically my partner refused to accept change from her manager Steiner which left them both a little confused before they just went with it.

    However, I have not ever mentioned Mint or Victoria, which for the latter comes solely for the fact I have not interacted much with their work outside of what they do with Densetsu.EXE, only really seeing bits of her from clips when they are all streaming together. Considering how much I enjoy her personality in those moments, think it might be an idea to properly sit down and engage with her.

    As for Mint, it is now a silly goal of mine to attend a Meet & Greet with her for the sole purpose of talking to a VTuber about Ace Combat, as she has streamed Ace Combat 4 previously and someone who sounds suspiciously like her has streamed Ace Combat 7, but I am sure that is completely unrelated.

    Whilst they are all nerds in their own right, they are still idols… even if this song is particularly silly more than anything else, looking to pay tribute to old Japanese sentai style shows… which I am going to be honest, I know next to nothing about so I can not really do a deep analysis on the aesthetics of this other than it is absolutely amazing to see the idols performing as heroes in their signature outfits with PNGs of their avatars imposed onto their heads, with special mention to Mint wearing the exact off-the-hanger cosplay that so many other nerds can buy. 

    I think the MV is also a testament to how far Steiner goes for the talents under his management. Both acting as director and starring in it as the main villain “Lord Loiter”, which is a fantastically bizarre name for something in this style, it really shows the dedication he puts in to helping the enable the girls to pursue more ambitious projects, shown in the fact that the explosions in this video are real and done with gasoline.

    In general, this MV is an absolute achievement for all the hard work involved by all parties, a beautiful display of what independent groups fo VTubers can achieve with the right backing and people behind them, producing high-quality works of art that show the passion that lies behind the screens and the dedication to get it done, though I think Steiner says it best himself.

    If on the off chance you somehow see this, please forgive me for including your spelling error GIF response – it was too funny to pass up

    Also dropping the thumbnail of the video for the thumbnail of my article, courtesy of the lovely Maid Mint herself.

    Much like how this segment started with Phoebe saying “Never give up, bitch!”, I strive to never give up on myself, as my idols show what they can be capable of when you keep on keeping on.

    Well, I got no excuse now, I am officially unemployed and made a declaration I want to try keep evolving my writing work, guess I got to try keep to it now.

    As always, thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope you are safe and keeping well. If not, then I hope my silly words about various topics have brought you comfort, if only for a short while.

    Keep going. I will if you will.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 329, “Tidying Time”

    Redundancy Review: Day 329, “Tidying Time”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning caretakers and clearers (yes that is a word, I specifically looked it up), welcome to Day 329 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Spent a bit of today doing some cleaning, both of myself and of my living space, specifically starting to tackle clearing out the fridge and freezer in order to make space for various essentials I want to pick up in the coming weeks whilst I still make my current amount of money alongside tidying up the bathroom so I could stick the shower baskets back on to keep things relatively organised.

    Housework is always something I struggle to find the impetus for, possibly because of that old bastard ADHD. It never seems urgent in my mind, so it falls by the wayside in favour of other things, but simultaneously, I am a housework fiend when it comes to procrastinating something more important…

    …there is a joke in here about how my flat is going to be the cleanest it has ever been as I put off finding another job, but I do not know how confident I feel to make it.

    So instead I think I will spin it more into a general discussion topic, specifically along the lines of: What sort of timeline do I think I will find a new job on?

    The short answer is: “eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?”, with the explanation to that answer and the long answer being one and the same.

    As I have mentioned previously, processing where I want to go next is the first priority, and given I am extremely privileged to have a good amount of runway to support a long amount of processing time, debugging myself and recovering from burnout is the key.

    At the same time though, I know this is also partially because I reckon a three-to-six month job search is going to be the optimistic end of the timeline, with upwards of one-and-a-half years being the middle ground between pessimism and realism given how rough the market is currently for job searchers, hence my logic of wanting to throw myself into writing cause if I am going to be on the search for a while, I may as well maintain a massive personal project.

    It is the advice that is always given to all walks of life in terms of career development: maintain a personal project. Artists of all flavours, programmers, and even quality assurance professionals such as myself are expected to work on projects or ideas outside of work hours to show your dedication to your craft, and it is the theory behind this that I have a love-hate relationship with.

    I get the logic behind it, promise. Working on stuff outside of work can help show employers what you are capable of in ways that cannot be expressed properly in an interview or job application, and it can be fulfilling to see a personal project through to completion – especially if you do so with friends.

    But at the same time, and especially with modern work culture, the idea of giving up personal time to go beyond work feels extremely unfair in terms of how it makes you stand out to employers. Heck the reason there are so many gaps of multiple weeks between Redundancy Reviews before I got shitcanned was because I would finish a work day and not even want to fathom doing anything that would class as brain stimulation – and I work remotely.

    Remote work means that I do not have to consider the same factors as other people do:

    • There is no commute to worry about, freeing up on average two hours
    • I live in a very walkable town that has numerous local amenities for lunch and food shopping, meaning I can do those errands on my lunch hour
    • During my breaks from work, I can make small dents into the housework list as a way to get away from the screen and decompress my mind
    • And because I only had a few meetings a day, I could spend my focus energy on actually getting the job done rather than having my social battery drain bit-by-bit

    All of these are an extreme privilege to have against modern work culture, and asking someone who works longer hours and also has to deal with a commute to give up their paltry time in the evening or any amount of time during the two weekend days they get to work on a personal project feels, in equal measures, performative and exploitative.

    There is also a prime opportunity for me to drag AI through the mud once more off the back of that, but I think I will save that one for another day and instead talk about VTubers that I like.

    Like Nerissa Ravencroft from Hololive English Advent.

    I ramble about Shiori Novella enough, but I have only slightly alluded to what I think about Nerissa. When Advent initially debuted she was actually the design I was taken least with, but as time went on and I saw how she interacted with the community on streams, I started to fall in love with how this silly goober functions, combined with her absolutely godlike singing voice.

    Her originals are wonderfully crafted pieces that resonate with different emotions in each piece, from alluding to the playful and seductive nature of demons in “Say My Name”, to diving deep in how it feels to reflect alone on mistakes and past trauma in the hauntingly poetic “In My Feelings”… and well, I could talk about Oyome Holic here too, but let us save that for a day where I am not writing this at past ten in the evening.

    This varied vocal energy is brought out in the cover songs she creates as well, with the two I am wanting to highlight showing both ends of the Vocaloid producer spectrum with “Birdbrain” nailing the esoteric and weird side of things (alongside nailing the scream right at the end of the bridge), and with “Rabbit Hole” utilising Rachie’s English lyrics being…

    …well…

    …Rabbit Hole is a hell of a good song, and I will leave it there to save myself any embarrassment.

    Outside of this though, the thing I admire most about Nerissa is her work ethic. She does so much behind the scenes to enable music and streams for the Jailbirds, and this definitely deserves to be recognised more because the effort put in even when the odds are against her is one hell of an admirable quality.

    Plus her obsession with Culver’s acts as great advertising for the American chain, to the point that if I somehow end up in the US in the future, I would love to try it out.

    Anyway, that’s my VTuber rambling at an end for today, not so much a review, more just an unstructured gush about the talents I look up to.

    Thank you for reading this edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are, I hope this week brings you peace and comfort where possible, or if you are facing hardship, that it passes by quickly without much weight on your soul.

    Keep on keeping on.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 327-328, “Good for your soul”

    Redundancy Review: Day 327-328, “Good for your soul”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning serfs and peasants, welcome to Day 327 and 328 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Yeah, I missed a day again. Yesterday ended up being a bit slow and a bit sad, partially driven by a touch of FOMO from seeing so many pictures of people attending the Hololive English All for One screening in London.

    There was a brief moment where I was considering going to that, but it ultimately ended up not being that financially viable once I considered travel, accommodation, and various miscellaneous purchases along the way – which in hindsight considering I am getting shitcanned at the end of the month, was a smart decision.

    It still stings a little though, being on the outside looking in, seeing so many groups of cool people come together for a shared event made my heart feel simultaneously full and empty at the same time. I have Vexpo this year, but considering my funds are likely to have an asterisk hanging over them for the near future, it seems like that will be my only VTuber related excursion this year.

    Which, to be blunt and selfish for a moment, really fucking sucks.

    VExpo was a damn near life-changing event for me last year, getting to meet several people with a shared interest of mine alongside having the opportunity to meet several VTubers I looked up to and meet ones that I only recently discovered. My survival comes first unfortunately, so it means a good four months or so of rooting for awesome people on the outside.

    In the meantime though, there is definitely going to be a lot I do within the comfort of my local area to help my soul to recover from the tech industry, which does include keeping up with VTuesday segments to show my love of the VTuber space in whatever way I can.

    Additionally, it means putting my energy into things that might not influence profit margins or return-on-investment numbers, but will influence the world in a positive way, whether in the wider world or within my local spaces. I should hopefully have more social energy once things fully process from my mind, which means I can work on projects with friends or just be able to host social gatherings with a bit more spring in my step – I have wanted to host a cheese-based gathering for friends, and sitting around eating cured meat and cheese to celebrate the next phase of my life sounds like one hell of a good evening.

    I guess it all boils down to processing, and everyone processes differently. In a way I have not had much processing time at all due to how hectic my life was balancing my career and keeping up with the schedule I wanted to. Thankful for being able to write the Redundancy Review as a way of debugging my mind bit by bit even when everything feels full and overwhelming.

    Not sure how today’s review topic will go, but there is a certain joy in me talking about weirdly specific topics, and despite having played-

    (it says “Install” cause I primarily play on Steam Deck, and this was taken on my laptop)

    -this much Umamusume over the last five months, I have only talked about it once on the Redundancy Review, and I do not even think I did a good job on that one knowing what I know now.

    Anyway, today’s review topic is the Pretty Derby Season 2 opening credits, set to the song “Yume wo Kakeru!”, or “Run for our Dream!” as it is labelled in the concert theatre in the game.

    Side note, the concert theatre might be one of my favourite features within the game that I cannot help but get irrationally annoyed over because of how limited the pool of vocalists for some songs are – especially in the wake of some later seasons and series of the anime having characters sing those songs whilst they do not have the same track in-game.

    I just want to have my oshi Oguri Cap sing all of the songs, is that so hard to fulfill?

    Anyway, back on track.

    Having now watched basically every single piece of Umamusume media since I first talked about the Miracle Run in Season 2, I can say that whilst it still holds an important place in my heart, I can concede that the later stories are way stronger in terms of writing and pacing.

    That said, I will not concede that Yume no Kakeru is the best opening track in the series. There is just so much joy and energy in the singing that really embodies the feeling of this being a song to sing alongside your rivalry, wanting to try your best and push yourself beyond your limits.

    In terms of visual elements… it is tough to consider. Personally, I think the Season 3 opening nails the slice-of-life aspects the best, as the daily lives of all of the students at Tracen are half the fun of the series, and the short visual gags in that opening bring a much bigger smile to my face now that I have the context of having played the game.

    There are a lot of fun visual elements to the Season 2 opening as well, a few of my favourites including:

    Mayano Top Gun in her prime position of sleeping through the entire season because the real-world horse was not active at the same time as Tokai Teio.

    Team Rigil warming up and T.M. Opera O just… doing T.M. Opera O things instead of warming up.

    And Twin Turbo proving her nature as the ultimate front runner by being so clear of the pack no one can try catch up to her. That little dot on the far right of the screen is her.

    But my absolute favourite visual element of this opening comes right at the end, where young Kitasan Black and Satono Diamond are seen cheering for Teio and McQueen, and these two were the entire reason I decided to talk about this opening because I wanted to use them as the thumbnail picture.

    These two appearing as the “Come on!” cheers play out in the song never fails to put a smile on my face from how absolutely adorable they look.

    If you are at all curious about Umamusume, I definitely recommend it. I am not someone who typically enjoys sports anime but I found myself enamoured from the beginning which only escalated into an obsession after watching Season 2, and well, after I finished Cinderella Gray I ended up going against my better instincts and getting into a fucking gacha game.

    I can definitely recommend getting into the anime over the game – I cannot in good conscience recommend people to get into the gacha game, as much as I will jokingly tease my friends to join my club.

    The anime can be found on Crunchyroll and Tubi with the Road to the Top OVA being available on Youtube. I… do not really recommend getting it through Crunchyroll as I do not agree with their business practices, so explore other options to find the platform that works best for you.

    That should cover everything for today. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are I hope you have had an easy day, if you are in the UK I hope you have enjoyed the bank holiday as well.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 322, “Comfort”

    Redundancy Review: Day 322, “Comfort”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning duvets and blankets, welcome to Day 322 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Today does not feel like a good day. A mixture of the events of last week combined with period brain descending upon me has led to my emotions feeling volatile and horrible, flip-flopping from anger to regret over being angry to overwhelmed and somehow finding every emotion in between that.

    To this end, even after I dragged myself out of bed to play some Umamusume and watch the Helldivers 2 patch notes video with my partner, I find myself back in the same location sipping a delicious mocha and finding some weird inspiration to write about how I feel right now.

    Period brain can do many things to me, but one of the worst things it does is turn the various negative parts of my mind up to eleven. Catastrophising gets amped up to the point that even the most minor inconveniences somehow turn into world-ending events, depression and despair make my outlook on things I enjoy turn into doom and gloom predictions of wondering what could go wrong, and as for my aggression levels, well, I will refer to contemporary poet Fred Durst to explain how it feels:

    “It’s just one of those days where you don’t wanna wake up
    Everything is fucked, everybody sucks
    You don’t really know why
    But you wanna justify rippin’ someone’s head off”

    It is a rare occasion where I get to quote Limp Bizkit for something – I do not even consider myself a fan, but “Break Stuff” is an infinitely quotable song for moments like this.

    So, what do I do when everything is fucked and everybody sucks?

    I seek out things that comfort me.

    Quick synonym tangent, I initially used the word “insular” to describe how I prefer to interact with things that comfort me, but I did not think that really describes how I view the situation, a point that was compounded further when I looked up the synonyms of the word and I did not really agree with any of them. Thesauruses are great, I know most people would use an LLM to do the task today, but that removes the joy of discovering just how many synonyms can exist for a word as the chatbot response will only cover the most popular.

    Back on track – comforting myself is an activity I usually do in seclusion more than anything else. Whilst other people (my partner included) find comfort in getting out there and spending time with like-minded individuals, my comfort typically comes from being in a private space where I can engage in my hobbies. 

    Most of the time, this is me getting all cozy in bed with a hot mocha and an ice water, with me zoning out to streams or playing stuff on my Steam Deck. Long stretches of time where I can have no interruptions from the outside world where I can focus solely on immersing myself in another world.

    Escapism would be the most appropriate term to describe this I guess, something I have talked about before last year with a Redundancy Review. It was the reason why, up until I got canned again, that I was looking at properly investing into cosplay more this year cause I view the idea of getting all dressed up in the outfit of one of my favourite characters as one of the ultimate forms of escapism.

    Feels weird to say in a way, that one of my ideas of peak comfort is dressing up in an elaborate getup only to sit at home and do the things I would be doing anyway, but I think it serves as an important disconnection point to the harsh reality that envelops so many of us today. A persona, if you will, one you can put on or off at will to help feel like you are someone greater than you are… though I feel I lean more towards “magical girl” vibes than “superhero” vibes when the latter would be more appropriate to some.

    This is also where my love of worldbuilding and elaborate details probably comes from. The notion of having a fantasy world where even the most minute details are thought through brings joy to my soul, where systems are thought through to try to give them as much grounding within the real world whilst retaining the whimsical aspects of fantasy.

    And considering this is the first VTuesday I have been able to mark in a while, this also marks a good opportunity to talk about why VTubers appeal to me in the context of escapism.

    Despite having never grown up as your typical “theatre kid”, being more the shy and reserved type, there is a certain appeal in the notion of regular people being behind virtual avatars. Whilst kayfabe is slowly becoming less of an “essential” part of VTuber culture, for better or worse, the characters that the performers embody can still carry a lot of emotional weight in their words and actions.

    This might be why Hololive English Advent is my favourite unit of VTubers, as they blend together what I consider to be a perfect mix of the real person underneath combined with their lore and characters. Their personalities coming through on streams and them being the sweetest people ever contrasts wonderfully with how their original songs and stories go.

    An original song is the topic of today’s review, the final part of Advent’s five-part story: Unchained

    I reviewed Genesis what seems like a lifetime ago, and between then and now the remaining songs have come out of the series. Is it a little weird I am reviewing the final song without having covered the second, third, and fourth songs? Yes. Do I do anything in order on the Redundancy Review? You bet your sweet arse I do not.

    Unchained I feel is an appropriate song to review both for a day like this and considering the events I have been going through recently. It is a song about escaping from any trials you have gone through before and living a new life full of freedom, hope, and expectation for tomorrow.

    The first chorus in particular speaks to me:

    “Now I feel so free, I can be who I am,

    I know I’m not alone, I got a new life,

    In the rain, the wind, and the sunlight.

    You believed in me, and that’s where it all began

    Now hope is everlasting, I can live my life with you,

    Unchained”

    With this next stint of unemployment, outside of some emotional volatility, there is much less fear than there was before. In a way, I do feel like I have a new lease of freedom compared to what I had before, and that no matter what days ahead I face, rain, wind, or sunlight, I have a life that I can truly call mine, one fully unchained from the past.

    However… it would not be a Rosalia Rambles piece if I did not find some way to extract a trans allegory from this song, and by god the chorus definitely hits that criteria. 

    Being trans mean to live a true life unchained from the expectations of others, and in living that truth you live a happier life no matter what outside forces are coming at you – and believe me there are a lot of outside forces that want to bring you down if you are trans.

    Transition is not a solitary thing though, or at the very least, transition gets a whole lot easier when you have supportive people in your life. Having confidants that believe in you and want to encourage you to be your best self can give you some amazing amounts of motivation to live your life to the fullest.

    I also want to do a bit of analysis on the bridge, as I feel that is a wonderful sequence that speaks to the lore, and actual social dynamic, of Advent being a found family of misfits:

    “Don’t cry, you can breathe free; I’m here if you need me

    Let go of all your heartache,

    We made it through, it’s the dawning of a new day

    Feel the world’s embrace,

    Oh what a joyful place

    This is where I wanna be, so come with me;

    Keep dreaming…”

    First off, I have to gush about the first two lines sung by my absolute favourite sweetheart Shiori Novella. Her voice is so smooth and soft making these lines so comforting to listen to.

    But all of these lines combine to give the vibe of Advent regrouping after they finally made it out of The Cell together, taking a moment to breathe and take in the world around them, seeing the beauty of nature once more before carrying on in the world, being free to dream once more as the group of lovable renegades they are.

    God… for all of Hololive’s documented issues, I still find it so easy to support the girls when they put on massive projects and performances like this – especially knowing how bureaucratic it can get behind the scenes sometimes.

    Thumbnail picture, swiped from the official Hololive English Twitter account

    That covers everything for today, a somewhat rambly Redundancy Review for a very up-and-down day. Thank you for reading this edition. Wherever you are I hope you are able to relax and enjoy the things that bring you joy and make life worth living.