Rosalia Rambles

Tag: ninomae-inanis

  • Redundancy Review: Day 213-217, “Getting Distracted”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

    Good morning latecomers and no-shows, welcome to Day 213 to 217 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    Spent time over the weekend not writing to focus on spending time with friends and doing my own things.

    Did not write.

    Got too involved in games last night to take some stress off.

    Did not write.

    So tonight, after one of my regularly scheduled gaming sessions, I am forcing myself to write something before I do anything further for my own entertainment tonight.

    Maintaining discipline is hard, especially when I work a full-time job in addition to handling day-to-day tasks, often leaving little time for writing when all I really want to do is play RPGs or watch cartoon horses run around a track. The ADHD does not help in this regard, though that affects both my personal and professional ventures.

    It can sometimes be a blessing, usually when the hyperfocus hits just right to allow me to belt through a massive chunk of work in a short amount of time or hit the writing flow exceptionally well to the point I will ramble on for several paragraphs about whatever topic sits at the forefront of my mind, but this boon of hyperfocus comes with the downside of what it feels like to be at the opposite end of the spectrum.

    Complete.

    Shutdown.

    No work gets done, no nothing gets done unless it provides the adequate of dopamine to kickstart my addled brain once more, and the worst part is when this state comes right after a period of hyperfocus – usually being knocked out of it by something happening in the middle of my work, or as is often the case nowadays, finding myself frustrated at something to where it snaps me out of my flow state into a short period of sulking where I need to do something completely different or else my brain does not want to cooperate.

    This is where having a remote job with a flexible work schedule really helps me out, as I am able to take that time without a manager looking over my shoulders wondering why the hell I have stopped for a bit and get myself back into the right state of mind, along with not having to worry about not being able to stay later due to that interruption, I have the time to get my work done.

    That freedom is something I definitely do not take for granted, and my working environment is what has allowed me to be my best self all this time because I am free from the psychological distractions that usually come from being within an office. Part of me wonders how long it would take to resocialise me if I were to ever work in person again, because I know I can be equal parts abrasive and weird when it comes to my working style, not to mention the copious amounts of swearing… did hit an extremely satisfying “son of a bitch!” during work yesterday though, that felt great.

    Alright, that is enough sidetracking. It is very rare I managed to hit Tuesdays on schedule given recent slips so I wanted to make the most of it with a proper VTuesday segment, once more talking about a song, this time from a contender for my Hololive English kamioshi, Ninomae Ina’nis with Tako Takover.

    On stream vibes alone, Ina worked her way into my heart with cozy gaming and art content, but she is equally talented as a singer, leading to beautiful pieces like Violet all the way to surprisingly intense pieces like Tako Takover.

    And when I say intense, I mean there is a part of me that is dying to be in a crowd whenever this is played live because I feel the call & response and chanting would be absolutely insane to be involved in.

    Right after the opening lyrics there is repeated chanting of “ICHI! HACHI! TAKODACHI!” followed by “INA INA INA”, which never fails to get me into the listening mood for this song, finding myself singing along very soon into the song…

    …which is completely the point given the insanely clever lyrics written by fellow HoloEN member Mori Calliope, combining the beautiful puns that Ina herself is known for whilst weaving a story about the Tentacult rising to power in the world with Ina herself as the leader behind the new world order.

    I am not immune to propaganda, and considering this is essentially a propaganda piece for a cult of weird little purple guys following a priestess of the Ancient One… sign me the fuck up. 

    In a way I am glad I fall for fictional propaganda more than I do real world propaganda because if I were not as politically aware as I am I feel I would have fallen into a cult or an alt-right pipeline by now.

    That is entirely beside the point though, what is the point is this song is awesome, though, given it was composed by Aiobahn +81, composer behind Internet Yamero, a similarly intense and catchy song with crazy lyrics, it is no surprise. 

    Yeah no my brain has stopped working now. Listen to the song, or both of them, and feel the rhythm of the bass hit you, I guarantee either one of them will be stuck in your head after.

    And I have to thank Ina herself here for posting a nice full size picture of the thumbnail of Tako Takover on her Twitter account so I can use it as a thumbnail.

    That about covers it for today, hopefully I can keep the discipline up to get back to a reasonable schedule. Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are I hope you are able to relax and take the week easy.

  • Redundancy Review: Day 77, “Not Quite There Yet”

    (for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

    Good morning knights and bards, welcome to Day 77 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

    So despite a good day yesterday, my mental state is still in a severe amount of flux over cosplay shenanigans, which led to me having a bit of a breakdown over lunch due to cosplay stress compounding with work stress which shattered the thin veneer of mental stability I usually present with leading me into a bit of a spiral until I had some ice cream.

    In the midst of the breakdown though, my mind started having a thought about what my problem is, and, I think I found something I need to change.

    I am… extremely bad at giving myself time to properly process things, usually due to the pace my life moves out, and this lack of time means that I often rush past any attempt at healing, instead trying to find solutions or working on something else to distract myself from what hurt me initially.

    Again, this can be seen as an admirable trait in some instances, but a common running theme in what people admire me for is that it comes at a great cost to my personal sanity and comfort.

    Losing my job back in June hurt, and it still hurts today. I am working towards building myself up as a writer, a freelance software tester, and whatever titles any of the other hobbies I am exploring right now could bestow upon me… but the sense of self and belonging that came from that job is still gone. 

    And with this cosplay, I am working towards getting a backup plan sorted, and even when it comes to stumbles within that backup plan I need to be kinder to myself, because whilst I consider cosplay a big part of my identity; the actual act of putting together cosplays is something I am still inexperienced on even coming up to almost a decade since my first time cosplaying.

    In general, the idea of “being kinder to myself” is something I struggle with a lot anyway – in both my career and personal life. I often fall into this trap of needing to make myself perfect in all I do, finding my stride within the first try or else I consider myself a failure, all the while preaching a gospel about how mistakes and imperfections make things interesting.

    Hypocrisy is fun, especially when it comes to needless self flagellation… getting in all my big words today too.

    Anyway, I want to go play Helldivers after dinner, so, I am going to try wrap up this Redundancy Review with a quick Hololive Tuesday segment, which today is going to cover a rapid fire review of all of the items inside my mini Ninomae Ina’nis display on my big Kallax configuration.

    For a brief bit of context, Ninomae Ina’nis (or Ina for short because god that is a mouthful) is a VTuber within Hololive English 1st Generation “Myth”, and is one of my main oshis. I absolutely love Ina, her streams always give comfy & cozy vibes with delightfully fun tangents, and her sleepiness speaks to me on a personal level.

    As such, I have a fair bit of Ina merch, which I can happily say was all bought directly from Hololive via Geekjack without the need to go to scalpers on eBay like an admittedly-not-insignificant portion of the Hololive collectibles I own are.

    Up front on the left we have “SmolMyth” Ina Plushie, one of the first pieces of Hololive merch I ever bought because it was right around the time I had discovered Geekjack was an option for shipping to the UK. She has stuck with me ever since and now forms the cornerstone of my little display.

    On her right we have “Friends With U” Ina Plushie. Friends With U is a series of plushies that tend to be in stock more regularly for fans who might not be able to buy plushies as part of limited-time made-to-order milestone drops that talents usually do. Admittedly I am not the biggest fan of the halo on this plushie, it feels a little too flimsy and hard to position correctly.

    Sitting in the lap of both of these plushies is a Connect the World Penlight. When it comes to the headline Hololive English concerts, I am unable to attend due to the fact they are A. in the USA which I do not massively feel safe going to right now due to being trans and B. The travel costs are prohibitively expensive for my current situation. 

    So in lieu of attendance, I make an effort to buy the made-to-order/leftover merch from the concerts themselves, having done so for Connect the World, Breaking Dimensions, and the incredibly recent All For One. The penlight from Connect the World is actually the only penlight I own as well, something I hope to change given my upcoming convention but this one will definitely get mileage there as well in both the opening and premium concert.

    And finally, looming behind all of them, is the large Takodachi Plushie, specifically being the rerun version from Myth’s third anniversary merch in 2023… I absolutely love this thing. Whilst a lot of Hololive plushies are made more for display than cuddling, the Takodachi plush is absolutely one you can cuddle and it feels amazing to do so. 

    The outside is incredibly soft but the stuffing holds up to being squeezed amazingly, making it perfect to hold tight on lazy days where all you want to do is lie in bed, relax, and watch silly videos on Youtube.

    For someone having a bad day, the fact I managed to write almost a thousand words makes me happy, especially as it was quite easy to find my flow for this. Thank you for reading today’s Redundancy Review, I hope you are able to find relaxation and happiness wherever you are. Myself though?

    I am diving feet first into hell once more.