(for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)
Good morning backmarkers and wooden spoons, welcome to a rare double feature for Day 47 & Day 48 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
Do not expect this to be a common thing, I mainly wanted to enjoy my remaining time in Scotland yesterday and did not have the energy or wherewithal to write an edition on my overnight coach home… where I got stuck next to a drunk and could not actually sleep at all… which meant I was very knackered upon my return home, conking out for around three hours before waking up now to commit to a review.
But not just any review, a rapid-fire series of reviews based on a bunch of things I did up in Scotland from stuff I ate during my travels up to things I found on my way, intentional or otherwise. No mental check-in today either because I am fully relaxed and just wanting to talk about a bunch of things all in one go. Ready?
Let’s go.
Arctic Coffee – Café Latte
A soft spot in my heart for getting a bunch of coffee down my gullet that is both economic and easily carriable in public places. Purchased for £2.35 from a Tesco Express, it kept me going on my early start journey to Scotland over the several hours I was coachbound.
Admittedly drinking one of these in one day (like I so often do) is probably not the best idea with its absurdly high caffeine content of 50mg/100ml, which makes it a higher caffeine concentration than most energy drinks currently on the market. Was it very much needed for close to ten hours of travel? Oh yeah, just not one I can recommend in good conscience for mimicking my methods.
M&S – Chorizo and Cheese Pot
Rather than buying a sandwich to carry on with me or risk rolling the dice on whatever might have been available at the extended stop location, I decided to buy a three for £8 deal on M&S picnic/deli snacks and carry those in my backpack as small things to munch on considering my hunger during travel can be wildcard unpredictable sometimes.
Though I have to say, I was a little underwhelmed by the chorizo and cheese pot. The chilli cheddar had a decent amount of kick to it but outside of that the chorizo was just passable really, it needed some kind of oil or marinade to really wake it up. Asda provides a similar product which is chorizo slices with manchego and I remember scarfing that down in no time at all. I will likely not buy this pot again.
M&S – Antipasti Medley
The antipasti pot however I will definitely buy again. Whatever the various foodstuffs were marinated in gave them an amazing flavour, and when it comes to deli olives & vegetables this pot managed to include one item I have an insanely soft spot for: marinated garlic cloves.
Something about marinated garlic gloves in a deli context just makes my brain go all happy. I am someone who loves garlic in general and being able to eat a whole clove packed with the flavour of what everything else was soaked in scratches a psychological itch that left me thoroughly enjoying each bite as I continued up north.
Happy Chippy – Pizza Crunch & Chips
One of the few things I requested of my brother as part of my visit was that one night we go to a Scottish chip shop and I try something I would not be able to find down south. Whilst the prospect of deep-fried haggis sounded… interesting, the moment he said the phrase “pizza crunch” to me, my curiosity was piqued.
It is exactly everything I would have dreamed of from a Scottish chip shop – a deep fried half mushroom pizza. Crunchy, crispy, and salty in a way that stimulated all of my taste buds, I could not have asked for a better welcome present to a country I need to visit way more often.
Stereo – Crimson Zero Mocktail, Buffalo Cauliflower Wings, and Double-Cooked Chips
Stereo was a place I had not even heard of twenty minutes before I patronised it, initially only looking it up as I was needing to find a place to go to the toilet and like any self-respecting trans woman in the UK, the prospect of going into a public bathroom terrifies the shit out of me. Stereo not only provided much needed relief with a gender-neutral loo, this vegan LGBT bar provided an incredibly wholesome lunch for a reasonable price of £21.75.
My cocktail was an alcohol-free drink called the “Crimson Zero”, containing Giffard AF Bitters, apple juice, sugar, and Franklin & Sons Ginger Ale. Considering I am not someone who imbibes ginger ale on the regular, this surprisingly hit the spot for me, providing a much needed cooldown after pavement pounding across town for a pee.
The star of the show was the Buffalo Cauliflower Wings though, florets encased in a delicious beer batter, drenched in a tangy buffalo sauce, and served with the sleepy hit of garlic aioli. It was a pleasant surprise to find something so delicious and filling as an incidental to my quest, with the salty chips just adding to the spectacle. I will definitely return to Stereo in the future, with full intention.
Heavenly Desserts – Cookie Blast Milkshake and Lemonade
After finishing my lunch and concluding my quest for shopping, there was one thing I wanted to cap off my Saturday excursion: a milkshake of some description. My first port of call in the St. Enoch’s centre did not have any milk in, so I took to Google maps to see what places were nearby that could scratch that itch. Ideally I would have wanted to find somewhere a little more independent, but considering the aesthetic of this place, it was a good time regardless.
The presentation really stood out to me here, as the tall and skinny glass is not something I have encountered when it comes to ordering milkshakes at a restaurant before, usually getting a wide brim glass with cream coming out the top. Though when I think back to that situation along with how far I had walked to get to that place, they could have served it to me in a paper trough and I would have gulped it down happily.
Lemonade added both to act as additional hydration and to fulfill the bisexual stereotype of having two completely different drinks to satisfy two cravings at once. For £10, I could have done a lot worse for myself in wanting a sweet treat, but I definitely want to explore more independent offerings next time.
Shawarma King – Large Mixed Shawarma Wrap
My final port of call for food before starting my travel home was a recommendation from my brother that paid off in spades. Before I had settled on my pizza crunch on Friday I wanted to try a doner kebab from Scotland, which led to me being told about Shawarma King – a multi-award winning kebab house just a stone’s throw from the city centre.
As someone who has frequented various kebab/burger/pizza houses in my home base of Shrewsbury, including one that completely reshifted my perspective on how good a doner kebab could be, I went in with fairly high expectations…
…and came out completely blown away.
This was my first time having a proper shawarma kebab as opposed to doner meat, and the quality difference was noticeable from the first bite. The meat was flavourful, juicy, and not at all tough, complimented by the soft wrap it was all wrapped up in, the salad and sauce bringing it home for a frankly transcendent experience of what takeaway kebab could be. For £7.50 as well, this wrap offered more than most places have presented for a way higher price, and I will return to experience the euphoria once more.
Outside Glasgow Queen Street – Stupid Bit of Pavement That Knackered My Ankle About a Year Ago
When I visited Glasgow about a year ago for my brother’s wedding, I ended up rolling my ankle on an uneven bit of pavement that really put a limit on my ability to walk around which hampered my exploration efforts with a friend of mine. I walked past that bit of pavement this time, and decided to exact my vengeance.
Take that, you shitty bit of nonoptimal infrastructure.
Finish
Eight reviews done in rapid-fire fashion covering various points of my weekend away in the northlands. I think that more than makes up for missing a day.
Thank you for reading this strange edition of the Redundancy Review. Normal service will resume tomorrow with Hololive Tuesday on the agenda once more. I hope your Monday is not too taxing and you find some time to relax.
Rosalia Rambles 
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