Redundancy Review: Day 50, “Rubber Ducking Myself”

(for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

Good morning muscovies and mallards, welcome to Day 50 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

My legs have finally seemed to recover from the walking and travel done over the weekend, but my brain is still in a state of fogginess – potentially due to the start of the month being on the horizon meaning my estrogen is due to start spiking any time now.

Not going to stop me from doing the mental check-in segment of the review though, especially as I have come to realise that these segments each morning act as me trying to perform rubber duck debugging on my mind in real time.

Outside of a few stomach-based complications, I felt incredibly relaxed over my time away. From sleeping for almost twelve hours on Friday in to Saturday to feeling at peace as I wandered around Glasgow by myself, not worrying about my commitments or responsibilities let my mind ease off and give me space to think about what that means.

I tend to heap pressure on myself a lot for a wide variety of reasons, seeing myself as a provider to the people I love and that if I can not provide to those people then I have failed. In the case of monetary provision it leads to me pushing myself to the limit at work and ignoring the signals of my body to rest so I can continue to provide to whoever needs it, and in case of preparing meals for friends (one of the main ways I feel I can express love), everything needs to be perfect or else I feel like I have let both myself and others down.

There is some positive sentiment I can extract from both of those flaws. My ability to go beyond the limits of my body means I can get stuff done even during the most intense struggles, even if it means a longer recovery, and my mental obsession over making food perfect has yielded massive improvements – I once did a roast beef that turned out so rough that I have committed to never failing a joint again, and thus far I have not.

But feeling this pressure to succeed all the time makes me neurotic to some degree, especially because it is mostly self-imposed. My friends want to see me happy, and hopefully they do not concern themselves too much on how successful I am.

One thing I want to try to get my mind out of this state is finding more hobbies to explore. I am going to be attempting bread baking on Friday as part of a friend’s birthday, but I feel I need something else to get me out of the cycle of working, gaming, eating, sleeping – as much as that cycle does give me some mental relief from how I feel some days.

Routine is a double-edged sword for me in that regard. I crave the stability of routine for having something that gets me out of bed on time to stop me wallowing the day away, but at the same time, routine can get old very quickly for me which leads to boredom or chasing dopamine through various different means.

Life will change, I just need to be ready to be the one to make the change.

Another simple review topic today, discussing a recent find in the fridge section of Marks & Spencer (M&S) that took me by surprise due to its strong flavour at a reasonable price.

When it comes to apple-based sparkling drinks my pick of choice is usually Apple Tango, which whilst satisfying does come with the caveat of tasting a little artificial due to it being sugar-free with the ability to taste the sucralose a little. This led to me being blown away by how strong of an apple flavour the M&S can has, with each sip reading very clearly as apple.

Additionally, whilst M&S positions itself as a more luxurious choice of supermarket in the UK, there are plenty of products that are a similar price to alternatives but provide an overall nicer experience – with this can definitely being one of them. It is just £1.25 for this 330ml can from my local M&S, with a 500ml bottle of Apple Tango being available for a similar price elsewhere.

The smaller volume provided by the M&S can is more than made up for with the flavour, along with carrying no artificial ingredients like sucralose, being simply made up of sparkling water, apple juice, and natural acids.

It provides a refreshing kick on warmer days, and I am definitely going to be buying more.

Thank you for reading the Redundancy Review today, I hope you can relax with your favourite drink of choice wherever you are, and that the Wednesday hump day is not bringing you down too much.