Redundancy Review: Day 54, “Rebuilding my world”

(for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)

Good morning terraformers and landscapers, welcome to Day 54 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

Yesterday was a seriously good day for me, like… it was the first day in a while that I felt extremely relaxed without the assistance of anything that influences my mood. I had a good burger brunch at Wimpy, I came home and played games with friends including an utterly cracked time at the Arch-Tempered Uth Duna Free Challenge Quest in Monster Hunter Wilds (that is a mouthful), and finished off the day with a lovely takeaway followed by a long cuddle session with my partner.

It was genuinely the first day since I lost my job that made me feel complete again. Frequent readers of the Redundancy Review will be familiar with my usage of the phrase:

“I feel as if my world has collapsed.”

Which was how I felt for the majority of the time that I have been writing the review. My sense of familiarity had shattered with the loss of my job and my worldview has been shifting & changing since that point to accompany that. 

In that regard, I feel I have grown a little more cynical than I was before. For all my struggles with burnout & stress in my previous roles, I had always tried to see myself as an optimistic idealist who was willing to go the extra mile: putting in more time, saying yes to almost anything, and pushing myself beyond my limit to get the job done.

And in return, I got hung out to dry by a board of investors I only knew the name of through stalking the company on Companies House. All that effort and dedication yielded a great amount of personal development, but I still had to start from scratch until this contracting role came across my plate.

But I now accept myself for being more cynical, as this is most likely not going to be the first time I see a company heading into the shit in real-time. No matter where the wind takes me I will still give it my full-effort, just without dedicating my heart and soul to a role knowing it could all fall apart as fast as it came to me.

In a way, I have finished grieving for what I had in the past, and with that grief being processed I am starting to rebuild my world bit-by-bit, working towards the person I want to be again with a newfound sense of purpose & belonging. 

It has helped me come to terms with my love-hate relationship with routine as well, along with redefining how I want to feel on a daily basis. Up until now, I had been aiming for a “happy medium” in a way, seeking out stability rather than letting myself experience intense emotions. In hindsight, this led to me suppressing a lot of how I felt on certain days which then led into intense negative emotions coming out more than anything.

Highs and lows are all part of life, and instability is not inherently a bad thing, especially if troughs are outweighed by the peaks. It is okay to be sad, and letting myself process this sadness is what I should be aiming for rather than trying to recover back to a middle point.

All this thought has reminded me that I had a severe mental breakdown in November last year due to work. The stress and strain of my new role slash responsibilities weighed down on me heavily to the point that I had no amount of focus to actually do my job, leading to me being put off work for a week to recover. That week was spent doing not a whole lot of anything, my main goal being to wake up and stare at the wall for a bit.

After that point, my craving for the happy middle point started, and that I feel did more harm than good for me. I should have let myself feel sad, to reckon with my stress rather than wanting to hide it away… I also probably should have taken more than a week off and more like a month, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Now I am in an entirely new chapter, and so long as I keep track of myself, however hard that might be, it is whatever I write in this chapter that will become my truth.

That was an intense amount of self-reflection, if still in my signature rambling style, but now it is time for the review, and well, doing a food review yesterday was so nice – I just have to do it twice! That is right, it is time for another episode of…

Rosa Eats Her Way Around Shrewsbury!

Though with a slightly different flavour this time around, as for the majority of these review subjects it has been me going to a sit-down location and having a meal. This time we are venturing into as yet unexplored territory but one I have been meaning to branch out into for a while: a takeaway review.

For a bit of background, there are a large number of what I refer to as “kebab burger pizza houses” in the UK. Takeaway establishments that do not really specialise in anything and instead offer everything.

You want a greasy pizza to forget a long week? Done.

You craving a low-quality burger to fill you up after a train journey? Sorted.

You require a doner kebab to soak up a night of boozing? No problem boss.

And there is a local joint simply called “Hyper” close to me that completely reshifted my perspective on how good a doner kebab can be.

A large doner kebab from Hyper sets you back £9.49, and as you can see from the pictures, they certainly do not skimp on the portion size or the salad, though it is what lies underneath the salad that makes this particular kebab stand out.

Whatever Hyper do to their doner meat makes it stand out beyond compare to other doner kebabs I have had… minus Shawarma King in Glasgow but they are in a league of their own honestly. It is perfectly seasoned, the shaved strips of meat do not disintegrate once they are placed onto the naan, and they remain perfectly juicy throughout – the addition of hot chilli sauce and garlic mayo only making it more of a greasy, heavenly treat.

The fact they use naan instead of the standard pitta bread that most kebab burger pizza houses do also deserves a highlight. Perfectly crispy, able to hold up to much more pressure and ingredients than a hollowed out piece of pitta, making the bread an integral part of the experience rather than just serving as a doner delivery device.

Pictured also are the sides my partner and I decided to get alongside our meal: chicken strips and mozzarella sticks. For all the praise I heap on Hyper, the reason chips are not pictured here is because the chips they serve are mid-tier as fuck, and often leave us dissatisfied more than anything else.

That said, the sides are perfectly serviceable but nothing entirely special to write home about either. No awards to be won by either but still delicious all the same.

Expect more takeaway reviews in future, enjoying good food is a major part of my life and I want to be able to share the joy I experience in trying things both new and old on this page.

Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. I hope you enjoy a sleepy Sunday wherever you are and the impending Monday blues do not get you down too much.