Redundancy ‘Review’: Day 138, “Sunday Guilt”

(for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

Good morning expectants and impatients, welcome to Day 138 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

Daylight savings time has ended in the UK, meaning the clocks went back one hour last night giving everyone an extra hour in bed… or in my case, even more time to spend playing Clair Obscur.

I am only slightly sorry, it has been a long time since I have had a game where I can do nothing but sit and let myself become immersed in a fantasy world, especially one with so many themes that resonate with my current situation. 

Though I do feel a little guilty, and I know it is somewhat of an irrational guilt with some grounding in reality. I feel worried that I should be doing more on my weekends, that even after stressful weeks I should forgo any meaningful relaxation time in favour of doing even more job applications or working on every personal project under the sun.

But that is the “grindset mindset” I have developed from being within the tech industry, of the desire to always be moving, to move fast and break things because you never know what will be born from the wreckage – and it is a mindset I do not want to be in anymore.

Being real, I am struggling to write today. I have been writing, deleting, and writing paragraphs, feeling completely unsatisfied with whatever I am trying to output and subsequently feeling guilty over that lack of output.

I am seeing my therapist in two weeks time, so, that gives me both impetus to keep moving and to add what I am currently feeling to my greater notes… should probably send her a link to these posts as well, they do a pretty good job of keeping track of how these past months have gone.

Also seeing the doctor tomorrow, to talk about the stress I have been experiencing because of work and other life factors, potentially looking at a route back to antidepressants to take some of the load off my brain.

I will make it through this.

One way or another.

There is still so much I want to do.

And I am scared I may not get the chance to do any of it.

But I will not know unless I keep moving.

Considering I am struggling to write today, I am going to skip the review segment, and I am going to make the thumbnail a screenshot that I took during a Clair Obscur cutscene today, being thoroughly called out by one of the characters.

Short, and not very content-packed as some reviews have been this week, but I am at least still consistent.

Thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. If you are in the UK I hope the clocks going back has not messed with your system too much, or brought down by how early it gets dark now because of that. For everyone else, wherever you are I hope you are able to relax and that the Monday blues are not too hard to bear.