Redundancy Review: Day 143, “Away from the desk”

(for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia Rambles)

Good morning receptionists and secretaries, welcome to Day 143 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.

Today’s review is being written from a cozy London hotel room after a pretty intense day of travel, and in finding myself away from my desk I can once more take a moment of reflection on my current situation – or more realistically, do a bit of public rubber ducking for a bit whilst I recline.

There is definitely a lot I am scared of in the near future. This is a feeling that exists almost perpetually within me, but what makes this current instance different is that my coping strategies have been thrown all out of whack by my initial redundancy.

Before, I was someone who very much had their moments of catastrophising and overthinking. Once I had got that all out of my system I would return to what I consider my “natural” state: go with the flow, relatively level-headed, and willing to fuck up any challenge that came in my way.

My old mentor said this mindset was the reason she became interested in, and once described it as one of my greatest strengths before following it up with how she saw my catastrophising nature:

“I see you throw boulders towards yourself and you never flinch, but then you go ‘oh no a pebble’ and completely collapse.”

She was always someone I could turn to if I was in a moment of overthinking, a process I lovingly called “unfucking my brain”, and in recalling this bit of analysis she did on me, it has given me some perspective on how I feel about my current situation.

I have always prided myself on adaptability throughout my career, that even in my moments of panic I could turn those emotions into a positive development experience. Making myself stronger through adversity.

And I know I can become that person again, but right now I feel unable to balance my desire for professional progression with my borderline need for personal recovery from burnout.

The problem looming over me, as looms over many others, is of course capitalism, why would it be anything else.

My financial situation is stronger than a lot of my Gen Z peers. In the event of sudden job loss or my physical health catching up with me, I am not in imminent financial ruin, in fact both my partner and some of my closest friends have said I should pull the plug on my contract at the end of the year in order to take a prolonged break.

But I feel incapable of that, both for the anxiety that would come with losing my income stream and for the worry around the “implication” of what taking time away for burnout would look like. It is already hard enough to find a job in my desired field, and it feels just as impossible to find opportunities for branching out due to the elimination of junior roles at different organisations.

The benefits of taking a break though would be unparalleled, as I could work more on writing in a given day, actually working on the books I want to write, I can develop out my VTuber concept further, and I could finally stop feeling the crushing weight on my soul that seems to persist into every work day right now.

At some point I should try write a positive piece on my current roles, as for all the spiritual issues I am currently experiencing, there are still a good number of positive aspects within my current career – it is mainly the painful lack of a clear future right now that is bringing down my morale.

For now, I am going to revel in the feeling that being away from my desk brings, along with the fact that I am in London for pleasure rather than business for the first time in forever. Not having to rush to a meeting or a function gave me enough time after getting off the coach to visit a place I had always been meaning to try but never found the opportunity to: Bleecker Burger.

This one comes as a recommendation from my friend Aaron, who always said I should try hit up Bleecker whenever I was in London. Usually my burger of choice when visiting the capital for work was a Five Guys, which, yes, I recognise is a very low bar in terms of burgers but considering I do not have one nearby I always considered it a “treat”.

Bleecker is a lot more simple than Five Guys – you get burgers, burgers with bacon, and stacked burgers with bacon. It is similar with the fries, you can get them plain, topped with “house” sauce, “angry” sauce, or both sauces.

My meal of choice was a standard bacon cheeseburger, house angry fries, and an Oreo milkshake, costing me a total of £21.85, which is actually pretty damn similar to what I paid for a similar meal at Five Guys just over a year ago, £21.65.

So, given the almost identical meal and cost, how does it compare?

First off, the burger. Bleecker definitely do things a lot more simply, and in terms of pure burger & bun quality they definitely exceed the Guys, but I did find myself missing some of the additional crunch and moisture that vegetable toppings or even mayonnaise would bring. 

Next, the milkshake. Incredibly thick, creamy, and delicious, there is not much more to say beyond that. A perfect accompaniment to a somewhat indulgent lunch.

Last, but most definitely not least, the house angry fries. These are far and away above the quality of Five Guys, you get a very generous portion for the price without the excess that can come from there, but the sauces drizzled over top are what make the difference. The house sauce is incredibly creamy with a little bit of tang whilst the angry sauce has a decent kick without being painfully spicy, adding a delicate tingle to the tongue forming a perfect side dish.

Do I intend to return to Bleecker? That is a definite maybe. The quality and care is definitely there in the food, but there is still something oddly nostalgic in Five Guys for me. 

Though there is definitely plenty in London for me to try in terms of burger joints, so maybe next time I have the privilege of coming by this part of the country.

That covers everything for today, thank you for reading today’s edition of the Redundancy Review. Wherever you are I hope you are able to enjoy your weekend, you deserve all the relaxation time in the world.

For more information on Bleecker, visit their website here: https://www.bleecker.co.uk/