(for context on what this series is, please see my Day 1 post here: Redundancy Review: Day 1, “A New Beginning” – Rosalia’s Rambles)
Good morning Marios and Donkey Kongs, welcome to Day 64 of Rosalia Rambles Redundancy Review.
Ended up making a mentor figure in my life upset yesterday over the fact I had taken the contracting role, which, considering it is out in the open now, may as well explain it.
So, what caused my redundancy was the entire company I worked at going under, leading to all of us losing our jobs. Then after a while a former colleague got in touch with me and asked if I wanted a contracting opportunity – the people who had bought the assets and IP needed a skeleton crew to push things over the finish line, and they needed a QA.
Being upfront and honest, I was initially going to tell them to go fuck themselves, hence why I called Day 25 “The Call of Yesterday”. The investors & the board had done enough damage to my psyche throughout this whole process that I was fully willing to take a stand and hold on to my selfish pride…
…that lasted about a weekend before I decided to sign on, thanks to some guidance from another person who had also signed on. I initially kept it quiet amongst the social group I was in with my former colleagues cause I did not want to upset anyone who was struggling, but the topic of conversation came up last night so I decided to mention it.
She had pressed me for names of everyone else who was working there since I was an “insider” and I had refused, partially cause that was not my information to give. This made my mentor a bit upset, to the point she left the group which really made me feel like an ass, even if in hindsight it feels like a bit of an overreaction to leave on the knowledge of some people in the group still working for the old blood.
Afterwards I had offered to leave myself to see if it would make others feel better, as I had outed myself as an “insider”, and knew that might still make people uncomfortable.
I very quickly had four (now five) separate people sending different variations of “do not leave”, from a simple “nope” to reminding me of how my mentor can react in emotional situations, but there seemed to be a common theme amongst all of them.
This contract is temporary, I know it will end at some point after the work is done and the board once more will have no use of me, discarding me back to the Jobcentre.
But in the meantime, I can survive.
And regardless of how I felt going in, or how my actions have made others feel, ultimately I can not be blamed for making a decision in the interest of my own survival – even if it does clash with my tendencies of making sure no one is upset by what I do… yes I know that is oxymoronic with what I said yesterday about not being erased or silenced but stay with me.
It feels difficult to have alienated this mentor figure in virtue of the fact she was one of the most supportive people in my life during my work under the previous company. She was always someone I could rely on to “unfuck my brain” and was one of the few people I could turn to when my hormones were close to making my mind collapse in on itself.
In general everyone I worked with was incredibly supportive and accepting of who I was, which is why the idea of making any of them frustrated, annoyed, or disappointed is a painful concept to me.
Ultimately, I do not know where my career wants or needs to go next. Part of me wants to try turn my baking and pickling hobbies into something I can use as supplemental income, I am slowly writing the stories I want to tell whilst weaving my everyday story, and despite the fact I am out of love with the tech industry as a whole I am still good at what I do.
For now though, I survive, in the hope of finding where I can thrive.
I think it is time for some more emotional whiplash though, as we go from the fear of letting those close to you down to talking about, what else, pirate metal.
Jonathan Young is one of my favourite musical artists, having initially discovered him through his covers of anime openings that so many Youtube musicians start out with, to witnessing his creative breakdown of 2017-2018, and then seeing him rise as an original songwriter creating beautiful pieces of music from scratch before following it up with his latest era of original songs based on nerdy properties.
The song I am covering today comes from his debut album of fully original music, “Starship Velociraptor”, attributed to Galactikraken, which in his own words is “definitely a real band and NOT just Jonathan Young pretending to be several aliens from the future” – the song in question being the pirate metal entry of the album, “Glory or Gold”.
From a personal enjoyment standpoint, I have a soft spot for anything pirate themed. One of my favourite Magic decks revolves around pirates, and I sometimes jokingly call myself a pirate captain due to the fact when my full preferred name is written out, I have had a friend call it a “fucking pirate queen” name, which totally did not go to my head as one of the most badass compliments I have ever received.
The overall vibe of the song is, fittingly for pirate-themed metal, rebellion. From the opening verse to the bridge to the chorus and straight into the second verse, bridge, and chorus, every word in this song hammers home the fantasy of being a god damn space pirate fighting against the plutocracy – a feeling I think a lot of people can relate to in the modern day…
…the fact I can not really decide whether that statement applies to “being a space pirate”, “fighting the wealthy”, or “fighting the wealthy as a space pirate” is rather amusing.
One part of the lyrics I do want to highlight though is the bridge before both choruses, especially for the last line:
“So hoist up the Jolly Roger
We’re taking a ride
Take back the life that they denied”
Speaking as an artist, a trans person, and someone who went through a major life change a couple months back, I feel a lot of my personal progression going forward makes this line resonate with me a lot.
Regular readers will know the usage of the phrase “my life has been destroyed”, but when I think about my current role, the things I am trying to do, and where I want to go next, I am taking back what was denied from me: in making my art, in living my truth, in what was taken from me with my day job being yanked away.
The instrumental on this song is insane as well, though I have to give special mention to the drumming. In line with the flavour of Galactikraken’s drummer being a four-armed alien the background drumming rhythm is layered and intense, especially intensifying in the last ten seconds of the song to finalise it in a perfect way.
Which is insane in the greater context of the album, as this is the first song you will hear and it ends off with such a powerful beat, fully setting you up for the rest of the amazing songs on the album – which I do actually own as a signed CD by the man himself, one of my proudest musical possessions outside of my physical Dragonforce collection.
Obligatory picture for the thumbnail, taken from the gorgeously animated music video…
That is two back-to-back Redundancy Reviews I have done where emotional whiplash comes into play from using the mental check-in portion to talk about something heavy, and then do a full 180 degree pivot to talk about something way more positive. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed reading today. Once more, please remember to stay cool and hydrated wherever you are.
Rosalia Rambles 
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